Friday, October 17, 2014

Keep Your Pucker Up

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, humor, conservative, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, ebola, nurses, hug, kiss, cdc

Following the latest round of news about his administration's stupendously inept handling of the Ebola crisis (including the CDC's recommendation to a feverish Ebola patient to fly on a commercial aircraft), Barack Obama actually cancelled a fundraising event on Wednesday, then ice-skated across Hell to hold a press event to reassure the increasingly worried American public.

"I hugged and kissed a couple of the nurses at Emory hospital because of the valiant work they did in treating one of the patients," Obama said, "and I felt perfectly safe doing so."

Following CDC protocol about exposure to possibly contagious individuals, those nurses will now be closely monitored for 21 days to see if they start golfing, blame their mistakes on others, show unusual sensitivity to Fox News, or scratch their crotches during the national anthem.

BONUS CARTOON: EBLOA PROTOCOL
obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, humor, conservative, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, ebola, clinton, monica, lewinsky, hazmat, blowjob

"Bodily Fluids" haven't been in the news this much since the heyday of president BJ Clinton and his faithful humidor, Monica Lewinsky.  Which is why this seems like a good time to remind the current occupant of the Oval Office of the potentially disastrous consequences of not taking common sense precautions, no matter how hard they are to swallow. 

So to speak.

HOPE N' CHANGE RECOMMENDS: MAC & WALLY
 

Politics has gone to the dogs - but in a good way! "Mac & Wally" are two funny, conservative dogs appearing in their very own comic strip which you can find on Facebook, Twitter, Ricochet, and probably some other social media services which we're too old to understand.

Hope n' Change has nothing to do with this strip other than really liking it. Click on the link and "like" or "friend" or "follow" or "poke" or whatever to get on the "Mac & Wally" bandwagon!

43 comments:

Jim Hlavac said...

Well, given the hottie there in the cartoon, First I'll swoon a bit - then say -- eh, not my type - too prissy ...

of course we are all in a mess - Ebola, ISIS, the continuing tax morass and deficits and endless nonsense of our political times ... you all are well versed. I appreciate it, I do.

And I am well aware that I am an outlier in much of this discussion because I am *gasp* a "homosexual" - well, let me tell you folks -- I'm an American with an enormous family -- and cousins in two languages on three continents and I'm the lynchpin protoze muzu mluvit ceske - because I can speak Czech ...

Colby Muenster made a gay joke Wed which I disagreed with -- I don't mind gay jokes - but, I get to put my two cents in ... I don't ask for apologize - I ask for reason on the absurd damn thing.

And yet, despite all the vast problems of this world -- how am I too feel when ALL the current potential GOP presidential candidates are fixated on sissy smooching? To what purpose? Don't we have other problems than sissy smooching? I have paid near $350,000 in income taxes in my years - and I can't see the dime back yet ... and I wrote five books - one on the Czechs and Slovaks of Louisiana -- ooh, horrors ... under my own name ...

And I also wrote a book called the Pink Sheep of The Ninth Circle -- and if ever you wanted the Liberty take on this confounded subject -- well, there it is ... http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ENWA3PIf

I know the whole gay debate is strange - and you are all "gay perplexed" and I avoid the "homophobic" "hate" and such like um, like the Ebola virus ...

But I can't separate it from the whole ... and I appreciate you all bearing with me -- pun intended ...

Anyway -- our government has now gone mad - it's true .. I so enjoy all you say, posit, point to ... but then, somehow - there's this gay thing. Well, as I say - solve every problem under the Obama and we'll still be here -- so now what?

If you're perplexed -- I will gladly try to answer -- but I insist on fact, knowledge and reason when it comes to this confounded subject as I insist on any other ...

And now - back to the undie boy in the cartoon -- well, ain't he cute? ooh yah ... but - too prissy.

Jim Hlavac said...

apparently the link to my Pink Sheep book was a bit off -- I don't know why -- perhaps I can't see straight this late at night -- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ENWA3PI


there you go -- I hope. ... for a change in that ...

Geoff King said...

Today's (excellent as usual) toons raise an interesting point. If we conservatives are nothing but a pack of racists as a certain "liberal" troll would have it, how come it is still so entertaining for us to make fun of the POS from Arkansas?
As for the current POS signing yet another unconstitutional Executive Order to send National Guard troops to Africa, what part of the word "National" does he not understand? As far as I know our nation is the United States of America, not Liberia. Speaking of Executive Orders, this not quite current list from Øbama's magic pen seems a bit lengthy to me, even for a supreme dictator:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_federal_executive_orders_13489_and_above

Jim Hlavac said...

the thing is Geoff -- if Obama started at 13,489 - what number did they start at? if number 1 -- then this has continued for some time ..
though, that is a disheartening list ... thanks for sharing.

Geoff King said...

I looked that up. It appears Executive Orders started being numbered at 5000. In fairness, Dubya signed more than Øbama, and FDR holds the record:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_federal_executive_orders

Bobo the Hobo said...

Obama lies so much he needs a neighbor to call his dog.

Fred Ciampi said...

Ebola, just what supreme leader needs to declare martial law.......

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jim Hlavac- On the list of things that the GOP should currently be worried about, homosexuality should be about issue one million. Well, that's not exactly right - it shouldn't be on the list at all but some folks are loathe to let their pet prejudices go.

And of course, the top cartoon isn't a jab at Gays; rather it's just another reference to the fact that we don't really know who or what Barack Obama is.

@Geoff King- Conservatives are still racists when mocking Bill Clinton because he was labeled as our "first black president." Although he was actually our first all-white black president, and Obama is our first half-white black president. Eventually we'll have an all-black black president who will hopefully remove the stain currently attached to the label.

@Bobo the Hobo- Now that's funny.

@Fred Ciampi- I doubt he'll declare martial law as a direct result of Ebola. Rather, he'll wait until it hits South America and then declare martial law when our (deliberately) wide-open borders are overwhelmed with refugees.

John the Econ said...

Oh, what a shame @Stilton cut-off our usual Anonymous troll yesterday before I could respond to his "the free market doesn't work" meme. But at least it applies to today's cartoon as well; the general incompetence of practically every government agency.

Until very recently, agencies such as the National Institutes of Health, the Centers for Disease Control, and even the Secret Service were held in esteem well beyond that of the typical federal bureaucracy; run by dedicated professionals who were solely motivated by and laser-focused on their mission while dismissing money or politics; and were supposedly immune from the self-serving agendas and incompetence so prominently displayed by the State Department, VA, IRS, Justice Department, etc. Alas, if the Obama Administration has proven anything, it's that absolutely no government agency is immune from being turned into just another politically driven meddling money hole that works more to screw up the lives of ordinary Americans than to help them.

So yesterday, instead of answering to any of this, our anon-troll pointed out that the "free market" in which we have such a "blind faith" in doesn't solve these problems. That's a red herring; the free market only solves problems that people are actually interested in paying to solve. I have no doubt that the company that comes up with an Ebola vaccine will become very wealthy. And anon and his buddies will decry that fact, and demand that the vaccine be price-controlled or made free to all. If the "free market" declines to come up with a workable vaccine, that will be why.

But the real issue isn't the "free market". It's the vast, over funded megabureaucracy that is swallowing up everything, including our freedom. At least if a purveyor working withing the "free market" fails to produce a workable solution, that purveyor goes out of business. For example, say what you will about "big oil". But if the day comes that I pull up to a gas pump and nothing useful comes out, then I don't have to pay, and eventually "big oil" will go out of business. "Big oil" does not have the power to say "Not only will you need to pay $3.29-a-gallon for the gas we didn't deliver today, but we demand that you pay and extra $2-a-gallon so that you might be able to fill up tomorrow.

That can't be said of the megabureaucracy, which will continue extract wealth from me whether they provide any service or not. When the megabureaucracy fails to deliver, the Progressive's only answer is that we must not have funded it enough, and we must pony up even more. Never mind that the NIH wasted $40-million on fat lesbians. It's our fault for not letting giving them even more money. Unlike the "free market", in government, failure to deliver is only answered by the calls of more spending.

Is it any wonder we're 14-figures in debt with no solutions in sight, and on a trajectory to make 15 figures with little to show for it?

This just in: A Dallas Ebola nurse is on a Carnival Cruise ship. No doubt following protocol like the nurse that flew to Cincinnati.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Bruce Bleu said...

I found the PERFECT place for lamont to go golfing, then I was discouraged to learn that Liberia was also a neighborhood in Hollywood Florida. Crap!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Great points throughout, and a very clear explanation of what the "free market" does and doesn't do, and why.

I'll repeat that any new messages from "Anonymous" will be nuked. Too many of his attacks on people here have been personal and distasteful, and he brings nothing of substance to the table (unlike Camille Paglia, or the much-missed Christopher Hitchens).

Regarding the nurse on the Carnival Cruise, I'm almost - almost - beyond the point of being dumbfounded by the CDC's idiocy. How hard is it to tell fewer than 100 people to stay the f*ck home for 3 weeks?! But nooOOooo. I wonder what it costs to disinfect an entire cruise ship? Or coax people back onboard?

Meanwhile, Obama is appointing an Ebola czar because he doesn't seem to know that he already had one.

@Bruce Bleu- He should still go to Liberia and hug and kiss some golf pros just to prove that it's safe.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

Anon the Troll has the basic misconception of the working definition of 'Free Market'- they think everything they feel entitled to should be free.

Geoff King said...

Interesting that Belize is refusing to allow that Carnival ship to dock or have any passengers disembark. They obviously care about their citizens far more than our government cares about us. I have always had an interest in that country, and like the fact that it is only around 2000 miles by road from here in Arizona should I ever decide to renounce my US citizenship and bug out.

WMD said...

@Bobo the Hobo, I stole your joke and as the lone conservative where I work, I had to pass it around. Most of them didn't get it and gave me a look like a dog does when it hears a strange sound. Others threatened to call the EEO and turn me in. Others just ordered me out of their work area and said if I didn't leave they would call the EEO. A couple of others I didn't dare tell the joke to as they would have actually called the EEO, not just threatened to.
Neo-communist tolerance on full display.
But get this, there is a guy that used to work here, now retired, that had what I call his "I hate George Bush wall" He had an entire wall filled with all kinds of derisive, hateful, degrading comics and images of Bush. One of them was even a picture of Bush he had taken out to his backyard, put it on a post and shot a .22 round through his forehead. I did not fail to notice that not one of my co-workers raised a single objection to any of that.
I just kept my mouth shut, mainly because I'm not an effing rat.
But thanks for that joke, I think it's hilarious.

John the Econ said...

Well, give Belize more credit than most of the American government.
A single ship with a single possibly exposed individual is denied port entry. My guess is that this ship will now be considered a leper ship throughout the Caribbean until it returns to Galveston. And yet, the US is still dispensing visas like Pez and allowing direct flights from every one of the hot-zones directly into the most densely populated parts of America.

(But they will cut off flights to-and-from Israel for "security reasons" at the planet's most secure airports - Perhaps an Ebola outbreak in Israel would be what it would take to start banning flights...)

But is this really it any surprise? My guess is that any politician in Belize that would sign off on allowing this ship to doc would be literally tarred-and-feathered almost immediately.

Contrast that to the US, where our politicians and bureaucrats have long since lost their fear of the American people. The bureaucratic insanity of the last several years is what we get for allowing that to happen.

George said...

@Stilton...is it a spell error above the Clinton/Lewinsky cartoon, Ebloa?....Or was it done on purpose? E 'blo' A, based on the subjects of the cartoon?

@Jim H...I don't know about 'prissy', but that appears to be some package he brought to the party. Not that there's anything wrong with that! ;-)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- Nailed it.

@Geoff King- I think our (ahem) "leaders" and the preposterous new Ebola Czar could learn a lot from Belize.

@WMD- I, too, used to be in a workplace setting where attacks on Bush were commonplace and went unaddressed (well, except by me).

@John the Econ- I'm reading that the US is now expediting visa requests from Ebola stricken countries. I don't know all the details, because I suddenly felt the need for a restorative adult beverage.

@George- Good catch! The spelling of eBLOa was absolutely intentional.

Shelly said...

Heard this on the radio this morning, so I can't claim authorship but it is great nonetheless:
E - Enjoy
B - Barack
O - Obama's
L - Legacy
A - America

Spread the word.

Bobo said...

I may have missed this link if posted previously, but it certainly is a good read if anyone missed it.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/articles/six-reasons-panic_816387.html?

Geoff King said...

Here's a new petition at the White House website regarding the inaction on Ebola. Obviously the administration will ignore it like most other petitions, but it may send some sort of message:
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/general-strike-response-federal-governments-inaction-ebola-crisis/j9wrQmKN

Popular Front said...

Well nobody else has said is thus far, which is amazing but I'll say it: "the international conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids!"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Shelly- Excellent! I'll bet it would look good on a bumper sticker, too!

@Geoff King- That's a great article, assuming you want to feel worse after reading it than you did before.

@Popular Front- Well done! I had originally planned to link the words "Bodily Fluids" to a Youtube clip of the epic film you're quoting, but the clip took too long to get to the punchline.

So - who else knows the movie we're talking about? One of the best dark comedies of all time...

John the Econ said...

"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!

Popular Front said...

"Thank you no, I do not support the work of capitalist stooges!"

"Oh, only commie stooges huh?"

Geoff King said...

Gotta have those priorities:
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2014/10/17/3643352-worth-nih-funding-that-could-have-gone-to-ebola-vaccine/
Origami condoms? So glad my taxes went for that great contribution to national health.

JustaJeepGuy said...

I heard something interesting about Barack Hussein's refusal to stop air travel from the ebola-affected African countries: Barack heard that George W. Bush was very popular throughout Africa-moreso than Barack, and Barack's ego won't let him do anything that might keep his popularity lower than Bush's. So now, a boatload of Americans might die from a truly deadly disease, just because Barack's ego is so insanely fragile! How in the world can such a petty pissant have gotten to his position? Well, we know the answer--a boatload of racists put him there. Just for our current Ted Brist-lite, if you vote FOR OR AGAINST someone based solely on the color of his skin, YOU'RE A RACIST. As for me, the color of Barack's skin is the sole thing I don't despise him for.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Oops, I ended that last sentence with a preposition. It should have read, "...the color of Barack's skin is the sole thing for which I don't despise him."

Geoff King said...

BTW. The NIH was given a larger budget increase than Øbola had wanted. Perhaps if they had spent less on origami condoms and poop-throwing chimpanzees they may at least have gotten a handle on the obese lesbian thing:
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/10/15/NIH-Spent-Millions-Studying-Origami-Condoms-Poop-Throwing-Chimpanzees-Instead-of-Ebola

Geoff King said...

In other totally disgusting news, Øbastard's new "Ebola Czar" didn't even show up for the Ebola Strategy Meeting today:
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/10/17/Ebola-Czar-Absent-from-White-House-Ebola-Strategy-Meeting
Considering he has absolutely no medical qualifications for the job, that is understandable. Putting the former Chief of Staff for Al Gore in charge of the battle against an exponentially worsening health crisis, is about as foolish as a former community organizer being elected president.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

Dr. Strangelove!

Geoff King said...

@ Stilton: I know you asked us to not feed the troll, but I would like to point out what you already touched on. I find it very enlightening that ever single one of it's posts must contain a derogatory term. For a so-called liberal to exude such hate speech seems beyond ironic to me. I do not mind being called uneducated or untalented, as that is very far from the truth. However, being called a "gimp", which is an extremely bigoted term for a physically handicapped person (which I also am not), suggests an extremely evil twisted mind. I imagine it secretly calls mentally handicapped people retards, Oriental people Chinks, Hispanic people Spics, and so on. The hypocrisy is overwhelming. It's kind has no place in this world.

Geoff King said...

P.S. My and Judi's mother is physically challenged. As a result, I find the word gimp to be extremely offensive. Evidently liberals have no concept of how childish and hurtful name-calling is. Anyone who disagrees with them is immediately labeled something nasty such as racist, sexest, and so on. Knowing absolutely nothing personal about the people they visciously attack shows how ignorant and repressive they really are.

Judi King said...

@ Geoff: Liberals, when confronted with FACTS, REASON, and LOGIC, can only respond with their usual labeling and name calling because they have no real answers. The worst label or name in my lexicon is "liberal"!!!!

Judi King said...

Amendment...Socialist, Communist and Marxist go on my worst label list also. All EVIL!!!!

David in SoCal said...

Seeing the Democratic morons,(just repeated myself, sorry), hanging around hugging and kissing Ebola treating medical personnel, and not wearing any or little protection(like the CDC's PROTOCOL official at the transfer of an Ebola patient AT THE AIRPORT); http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-hazmat-suit-transfers-dallas-ebola-patient-cdc-plane-article-1.1976079 ; reminds me of the beach scene in JAWS 1975, when the Mayor of Amity Island, (more concerned about tourism money than public safety); drags his wife and kids into the vacant ocean and encourages all others to follow suit. We all know what happens next; it's lunch time for Mr. Sharky. Mayor Larry Vaughn is synonymous with the Obola administration; and ol' sharky is the equivalent of Ebola.
"Ebola is safe; nothing to see here; hey, look: a Squirrel!"

TrickyRicky said...

@JustaJeepGuy-in reference to the rule of never ending a sentence with a preposition, Winston Churchill one said "This is the type of errant pedantry up with which I will not put."

bobtater said...

Now they want you to get a flu shot so you don't confuse them when you get ebola!! Awww what the hell Stilt?? Pass the whiskey flavored body fluid.

Geoff King said...

I get it now. "Liberals" (who are anything but) evidently feel the need to interject profanity and childish name calling into everything they say because they must realize that they have nothing of substance to add to a conversation. Having to compensate for an inferiority complex in such a manner must be a terrible burden to bear. I truly feel sorry for them.

American Cowboy said...

@ Geoff King

Agreed. I have observed that in most cases profanity is just the feeble attempt of an illiterate weak minded person to express themselves forcefully.

Geoff King said...

As I previously remarked, "liberals" evidently do not have it in themselves to add anything relevant to a conversation so they repeat the same vulgar and nonsensical rhetoric - even if they must resort to doing a Copy/Paste of their previous posts - in case someone missed their meaningless drivel.

Geoff King said...

On the topic of Øbama's possible "gayness", I do not give a damn one way or the other. What I do care about is that the entire past of the " most transparent Presidency in history" is completely shielded from public view. The few former friends that have come forth and claimed homosexual relations with the man have all met with "unfortunate accidents", two or three of them just weeks prior to his election campaign. I find it amazing that not one single woman has emerged claiming to be an ex-girlfriend of his. That has to be a first in US presidential history. Were I a gay man, I would be extremely offended at his total outward deception and denial of what all the evidence suggests. If he really is not gay, would he not strive to prove that just for personal justification? C'mon Bathhouse Barry, tell us the name of one women (present First Ladyboy excluded) that you ever dated.

Judi King said...

I couldn't care less if he's gay. I DO care that he is a narcissistic marxist who can't even admit that he is at LEAST half white.

David in SoCal said...

I'm not sure what is more frightening: The fact that 'it' blogs; or the fact that 'it' votes and drives.(whenever mommy lets 'it' out of the basement)