Monday, April 20, 2015

Fish Shtick

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, school lunch, michelle obama, fish
They say that if you give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you'll feed him for a lifetime. And if Michelle Obama forces a school to give a kid a revolting chunk of gelatinous fish for lunch, you'll feed the Internet.

At least, that's what happened when a Virginia mother's photo of her child's school lunch went viral on social media.

While the lunch met Michelle "I grow my own yams" Obama's stringent dietary requirements, even the school's Food Service Coordinator admitted (while choking back vomit) that the lunch looked like "something that would crawl from a garden leaving a noxious, foul-smelling slime trail."

Well, those weren't his exact words. He actually said "poor lighting and food presentation make this lunch unappealing."

We'd guess that the "poor lighting" probably came from government-mandated CFL bulbs, and that the poor presentation occurred when the lunch lady failed to enthusiastically say "TA-DAA!" when slapping the filet-o-fail into the tray.

Presumably, both the lighting and presentation were a bit better at Lupa's restaurant in New York on Satuday, where the first lady took her mother out for a five-course lunch. Since  poached hagfish and grey canned corn weren't on the menu, the two had to settle for Puntarelle Alla Romana salads, then Rigatoni Alla Gricia and Strozzapreti with Sugo Finto pastas. After cramming that down, the two slurped Coda Alla Vaccinara - a rich oxtail stew. But wait! There's more! Michelle and her mom then wrapped themselves around a cheese platter before finishing up with an ice cream dessert called Tartufo, which is probably Italian for "taxpayer funded."

Meanwhile, back in the land of peasants, the national School Nutrition Association's president opined that at least part of the problem of disgusting lunches can be solved by getting another government funding increase (surprise!) which will help schools "afford the foods we must serve" per the Cafeteria Commandments inscribed on the stone tablets Michelle sent down from the mountaintop.

But...

"Unfortunately that won't make students consume it," the Association's president admitted, adding that the final resting place for much of Michelle's overpriced, under-appealing meals is "in the trash."

Put another way, the school lunch program is increasing costs and decreasing desired results, while literally dumping our tax dollars into the garbage. Pretty much like every other policy coming out of this administration.

 Granted, the lunch ladies didn't have much to work with...

23 comments:

Proof said...

I have to disagree with you on this one, Stilton. The lunch on the right looks fresher and much more appetizing!

REM1875 said...

Little confused on todays story, but is that bottom picture moochelle's mom after the gourmet italian dinner or am I missing something again?
I am also highly upset they are feeding those danged kids fine frenchy es cargoe, with my tax dollars.
We now return you to you regular broacast.

TrickyRicky said...

So, they have named Hillary's running mate? Or at least posted a photo?

Fred Ciampi said...

I just can't understand why the gubbermint think they have the right to control the food served in ..... oh, wait, it's the control they demand. I am reminded of another high set of officials way back when, Marie Antoinette and her nice husband Louis XVI. They also had an exorbitant lifestyle. Hmmmm, I wonder ..... No I'd better leave it there but I do wish that what's good for the goose would be good fir the gander.

Judi King said...

When FLOTUS gets rid of it's big fat @$$, it can tell ME what to eat. Hypocrisy at it's "finest". That is the most disgusting picture of food I've ever seen and I'm hoping it's exaggerated.

Geoff King said...

While Michelle "let them eat kale" Obama's daughters dine on chef prepared cuisine in their private school, the rest of us serfs must eat and drink whatever the overlords demand.
Since the republicans have already proven their cowardice by caving on Ă˜bamacare, immigration, and practically every other dictate of HRH Ă˜bama, we can expect even more Royal Decrees to control every aspect of our miserable peasant lives.
At least in New Mexico the pigs are enjoying the taxpayer funded school lunch slop:
http://m.eagnews.org/?url=http%3A%2F%2Feagnews.org%2Fmichelle-os-healthy-lunches-going-to-the-pigs-literally%2F&dm_redirected=true#2732

Boligat said...

Okay, I'm old. But i remember walking home from grade school to have lunch with my mother and then walking back to school. Alone. All by myself. I lived about 6 blocks from school, about 1/2 mile. Sometimes we only had peanut butter sandwiches and milk. And I wasn't the only one either. What would Michelle do about that?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Proof- It's like they say: "One man's meat is another man's garden nuisance."

@REM1875- It would be escargot, but Michelle banned the all-important garlic butter.

@TrickyRicky- By the same logic that we've never had a woman president, we've never had a blobfish vice-president. So I think it's a pretty strong pairing.

@Fred Ciampi- The big difference between Marie and Michelle is the first lady says "Don't let them eat cake."

@Judi King- I didn't mess with the picture of the fish at all, other than to crop it. Except for the grey canned corn, the other compartments in the lunch tray were empty. It really did look appalling. (Note: if you click on the link in my commentary, you can see the original photo - and some other disgusting lunches)

@Geoff King- Good link. $3.5 million every day on food that's thrown away, and 85% of the fruits and vegetables on lunch trays gets tossed (and in this case, end up as pig chow).

@Boligat- I'm old, too (no wait - I'm distinguished!) and have the same memories of walking home for lunch from the age of 6. Maybe a peanut butter sandwich, maybe some tomato soup and saltines. Tasty, made with a mother's love, and somehow I managed to grow into adulthood.

These days, Michelle would send Child Protective Services after any parent letting a 6 year old walk home from school to eat a sandwich made with privately-funded white bread.

American Cowboy said...

These two comments pretty well sum up the way the first Wookie and the rest of the libiots think about the nations children.

". . .but unfortunately that won’t make students consume it,’ SNA President Julia Bauscher said during testimony.

‘And that’s what we’re also focused on…finding ways to ensure students will eat the. . .foods that we’re making available to them and not throw it in the trash.’

Just wait until that old hag Shrillery starts trying to mandate what children must eat, as she continues her fight against women and children?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@American Cowboy- Exactly. I don't so much care about an unappealing wedge of fish, but about how this symbolically represents so much of what the Left does, simultaneously raising costs while reducing actual benefits. Obamacare and a stale whole wheat bun, anyone?

GenEarly said...

Is that a picture of a hilliary fish at the bottom? They are really an invasive species, especially around NYC where they feed around the garbage scows in the harbor.
Not to imply that the hildebeast is an s-cow.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Bogliat - Yep! got burned out on PBJ in High school, but still have a fond place in the heart for tomato soup and grilled cheese..

Bruce Bleu said...

I just think it is the height of hypocrisy for someone with a caboose THAT size to be lecturing ANYBODY on what to eat! I'm also struck by the irony that it would take a TRAINLOAD of "Ho Ho's" to generate enough calories to support that corpulent tail-section! (yo is what yo eat)
Personally I think magilla ought to go on a diet of puffer fish prepared by novices.

Iggy Poop said...

Disappointed - where is Juan the Econ? Just not Monday without that Econ guy....

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@GenEarly- Now that you mention it, that fish does have a Hillary-ish quality...

@Pete(Detorit)- Ooh, yeah, grilled cheese...

@Bruce Bleu- I believe that dish is called "Fugu and the horse you rode in on."

@Iggy Poop- Maybe he ate something government mandated that didn't agree with him.

John the Econ said...

That certainly doesn't look like anything that would get served at the Sidwell Friends School, so perhaps Michelle doesn't realize or care what's happening in the non-Sidwell world.

Ask anyone who's served with any state or local bureaucracy, and they'll tell you what with Federal dollars comes Federal strings, and eventually control. The irony is that eventually, the cost of complying with Federal control eclipses the value of the Federal handouts. But the bureaucracy won't do the wise thing and give up the Federal handouts, since the jobs created for the bureaucracy become their own constituency, and therefore become more important than the dollars. So what gets cut to make up the difference? Look above again.

@Fred Ciampi, you are correct. One of the most interesting aspects of the Obama era has been the completion of the transformation of the Democratic party into the Marie Antoinette party.

Actually, this transformation has been going on for the last 30 years now. Back when Bill Clinton was running for President, the Democratic Party still openly clung to the "Party of the ordinary America" meme they felt they had bought and paid for with Roosevelt. But even then, it obviously wasn't to anyone who'd bothered to pay attention as Bill Clinton raised hundreds-of-millions at 5-figure fundraisers that no "ordinary American" could afford to attend. Of course, after winning, he transparently turned the White House into a fundraising house for the 1%er set. Literally, in fact.

Today's Democratic Party provides the guilt-ridden leftist uber-rich the ability to be morally absolved of any guilt for being so with minimal sacrifice. The Clinton's are the pinnacle of this moral achievement. The most immoral couple of a generation who've made all of their 8-figures of net worth just by showing up get to be hailed as our moral superiors over hard working people who actually work and create value for our economy instead of sucking it from others. They get stay "rich" and continue with their conspicuous consumption lifestyles while at the same times being "popular", and telling the rest of us what sacrifices we need to make.

It's amazing, and sickening.

awayuma said...

Who are the "lunch" suppliers? I want names of company owners, not company names. Put a bright spotlight on 'em before trying them for child abuse and child endangerment.

George in Houtx said...

back when I was in high school, the worst we had to worry about was 'mystery meat' meatloaf. therefor, most of the time I would make my own lunch and bring from home. never a surprise for lunch that way. I WILL say that I would consider it a tie between the very unappealing fish portion and the large snail. slight edge for the snail because it is fresh! BTW, what gives Moochelle the right / authority , power to dictate what is served in our schools? she is where she is simply because she is married to the president. nobody elected her to any office! Lord help us if hillary gets elected. slick willy will be back in there as the "official intern tester".

Wahoo said...

Meanwhile, at ultra-exclusive Sidwell Friends School, the First Daughters dine on Crusted Tilapia...

Bruce Bleu said...

Blogger Stilton Jarlsberg said...

"Fugu and the horse you rode in on."
Stilton,
I hope I don't mortify you with this observation by doing it publicly, but that is GENIUS! Your astute, (Not to be confused with the south end of a northbound magilla, which would be ASStute), appraisal of situations is appreciated, sir... please don't stop. The only caveat I would add is it would have to be a DRAFT horse to haul such a mASSive cargo!

John the Econ said...

Random thoughts for today:

Hillary rode the coattails of her philandering husband into the national spotlight, and yet she is lauded as "qualified" and a "feminist" icon despite a trail of corruption, ineptness and scandal. Is this just another example of the "soft bigotry of low expectations"?

I remember when the left was the champion of clemency for hard criminals, such as "rapists", while those on the right would have been happy to see rapists executed. At some point over the last two decades, the left changed sides regarding rape.

We've had more police shooting of fleeing black suspects over the last few weeks. And yet this time around, Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson have been remarkably quiet, even though these shootings have been far more suspect and worthy of skepticism. What gives? Why is it that Sharpton & Jackson are only excitable when the victims are hard-core thugs who literally provoke their own deaths?

Judging Hillary's embarrassing gaffs and performances at her own PR shows and the leftist media's open ridiculing of her this early in the game, I seriously do not believe that she is going to be the candidate. I think they're going to draft Warren.

6 years ago when the Federal Reserve dropped interest rates to practically zero, I argued that it would be politically impossible to raise them back to normal levels until something drastic happened and it would be too late. There would always be a reason not to raise them, like lingering unemployment or fear of slowing the economy. Sure enough, my prediction is holding.

Anonymous said...

Of course, is it really one of the government's enumerated powers and duties to supply "free" food for schoolchildrens' lunches? Or do some parents need to put down the TV remote control and the carton of Cinnabons and make some peanut butter sandwiches?

I am constantly astonished when anyone expects this government to be anything but comically inept and corrupt.

Mike Bennett said...

Hi, everyone! I've been enjoying this comic every day for the last two years, and it gives me a lot of laughs (because God knows there's not a lot to laugh about these days). Anyway, this comic inspired me to design this graphic! Enjoy!

http://mikebennett1980.deviantart.com/art/Obama-School-Lunch-537703974