Monday, April 27, 2015

Post Parting Depression

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, immigration, miracles, demographics, we're fucked

As miracle workers go, Hope n' Change is forced to tip our hat to Barack Obama for reinventing a couple of classics previously performed only by Moses and Jesus.

The parting of the Rio Grande is the most obvious. Millions of illegal immigrants are now able to flood into our country with Obama holding back the churning threat of red tape, using nothing but his God-like Executive Order powers - and a promise to make life a living hell for any border agent who tries to enforce our actual immigration laws.

But that's only his warm-up miracle. Obama then goes the "loaves and fishes" route to magically multiply the number of actual immigrants! 

Here's how it works: under the guise of "prioritizing deportation," Obama has unilaterally declared that millions of illegals won't be deported. Half a million have already been given social security numbers and work permits, and there are reports that nine million more will be getting them soon. And that's a lot of folks, right? Wrong...

Because once Obama has given an illegal immigrant that paperwork, they can legally bring in their spouse and any children under 21. And if any of those children also have children of their own, they can all come too! And if those young parents happen to be married, they can also bring their spouses and the parents of their spouse!

Of course, hauling that many people to Los Estados Unidos is a dauntingly expensive and exhausting challenge for these impoverished folks - which is why you get to pay for it. That's right, your tax dollars will fly all of those folks into the heartland and provide "resettlement assistance" to make life a little easier until they start receiving the full taxpayer benefits which they are suddenly - indeed, miraculously - eligible for.

Speaking of miracles, it would be a whopper if dumping this much unskilled labor into the marketplace didn't drive down wages and put additional pressure on our nation's poor and middle class. But then, that's what Obama's policy is intended to do. After all, the worse things get for the poor and middle class, the greater will be the calls to "topple the 1%" (or 10%, or 25%), redistribute their ill-gotten money, and (just for fun!) defile the corpses of the evil rich and/or the annoyingly solvent.

But wait, there's more! Remember when Obama promised a "fundamental change" to our nation? It's already happened - and is probably unstoppable. As much of 80% of our population growth is now directly attributable to immigrants, legal and (especially) illegal. The demographic shift is irrevocably changing our economy, our culture, and what used to be our future.

Let us be clear: illegal immigrants aren't necessarily bad people (outside of being law-breaking criminals) and they're dragging their huge, extended families to the United States in hopes of finding opportunity. Those opportunities - and our nation's redistributable wealth - are finite and already spread too thin. But ironically, because our compassion is almost infinite, we'll keep trying to make this overburdened system work until it destroys us.

Whether you're religious or not, you've got to admit that for one nefarious man to pull that off is a miracle.

BONUS: EXTRA SAUSAGE

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, biden, correspondents dinner, anal sex, indiana, pizza

Just because Obama has made his America-destroying "Dreams From My Father" come true is no reason we can't all still enjoy a good laugh! Or at least, that was the theory at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner which was held on Saturday.

Barry did indeed tell the alleged joke in the first panel, despite the fact that there are no documented examples of any pizzerias in Indiana that won't serve gay clientele. There may, however, be pizzerias that wouldn't serve Obama and Biden for other reasons - and if we can find them, we plan to send $100 to their Kickstarter campaigns.

19 comments:

Proof said...

Barry told a whole pack of lies during what little I could stomach of his comedy routine.
Jan. 2017 can't come soon enough!

Joseph ET said...

We didn’t find Obama funny at all during the White House Correspondents Dinner. What was with that "Luther," his "anger translator" NOT funny! Cecily Strong following Obama was even worse if that’s possible. Johnny Carson or Jay Leno they aren’t!

Millions of illegal immigrants are now able to flood into our country because ‘they’ think our immigration system is broken. So, I guess that this is the way ‘they’ want it. Open Borders!! America becomes a third world country in eight years. And remember, they are shipping in thousands of people from the middle east that will get the same deal as the south Americans.
God help us.

Geoff King said...

As Americans sit idly by and watch while the once greatest nation on the planet is systematically destroyed, I have to question whether or not there is a point in even holding any further elections. There now is only one political party in this country: the Globalist Party. Any politician who actually wants to restore Constitutional Law will be bought off, blackmailed, or simply eliminated.
The massive influx of illegals is obviously being orchestrated to create a majority population of passive sheep for the slaughter.
This upcoming 4th of July, assuming the PC police even allow it to be observed, should be a national day of mourning....May the USA rest in peace.

TrickyRicky said...

The only question is when, not if, they come to confiscate the IRAs, 401ks, annuities, etc. of those of us who have saved a modest nest egg to keep the Ponzi scheme afloat. As Keith Ellison once stated, there is plenty of money, it's just the government doesn't have it. And how much is enough? Will the peons be allowed to keep $50k or $100k of their hard earned savings? I seem to recall that the magic number in Cyprus was 100,000 euros. I guess that's why it's getting harder and harder to get up at 3:30-4:00 to work my ass off all day in order to support not only my family but another one from Mexico or the ME who don't know me from Adam. And if I were Adam, they would want to behead me.

Fred Ciampi said...

One question that keeps coming to the top like cream in a milk can is don't the Hollywood Elite realize that their wealth will be redistributed as well? ...Or will it? Ditto with the Warren Buffets et al.

The 'Extra Sausage bonus reminds me of the bakery in Radford, VA, Crumb & Get It Cookie Company, who told the SS that they didn't want Joe Biden there for a photo op. They are less than an hour from me and every time I want to go off my diet and have some of the world's best cookies and such, it's off to Radford.

Keith said...

The immigrants he seems to be quietly focusing on aren't from the Americas. That is a ruse to get things moving and established so there can be no way to turn the tide when all the potential ISIS types come here to get those jobs the Harfing girl mentioned. See what that did for the folks in the EU . . . we are next.

Bill said...

Hello,

The good news is that when the USA hits bottom the Mexicans will be running back to Mexico.

Will Mexico then enforce their anti-immigration policy and not allow them to return?

In my area (Pittsburgh PA and surrounding area), I see "trickle-up poverty". For five years the lower rung folks have been losing their jobs. However, now I see middle income folks losing their jobs.

Just My Thoughts,
Bill Moore

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Proof- The Correspondents Dinner is nasty people telling nasty jokes. And over 60% of the (ahem) "journalists" in attendance have never actually asked Obama a question. The whole thing is, in the common parlance, a massive circle jerk.

@Joseph ET- I usually like to put a more optimistic spin on things, but I think Barry's demographic bomb will be identified by historians as what caused our nation's fall from relevance on the world stage. I also think that if that History is written in America, it will be in Spanish.

@Geoff King- I liken our situation to people in a lifeboat surrounded by others who want in the lifeboat. The people in the water have every right to live - but if too many swamp the lifeboat, no one lives.

Barry's goal is to make our nation into a third world country as payback for all of the colonialist "evil" we've done to the world. In the fullness of time, I think it's frighteningly likely that he will have succeeded.

@TrickyRicky- I worry about the seizing of assets, and am pretty sure it's heading our way. Keep in mind, if the government grabbed every penny from those evil one-percenters, it wouldn't cover our bills for one year. And the next year, all of those wealthy bastards would be gone.

The real money is in the hands of the middle class - the savings, the retirement accounts, home ownership, etc. That's where the government will have to go to grab the money which "compassion" dictates they need.

I wish the dunder-headed liberals who love to hear Obama, Hillary, Warren and all the rest talking about taking down the 1% would wake up and realize that their real political goal is to get us to accept the idea of government seizure of private assets.

Make no mistake: if you've managed to put money in the bank, or funds into a retirement account, you will eventually get punished for your "selfishness."

@Fred Ciampi- The Hollywood types will still be able to enjoy their millions unmolested by the government. They're useful gears in the machinery of controlling the country, and will be appropriately rewarded.

Hillary is currently trying to raise $2.5 billion in campaign funds from the uber-wealthy. It's not likely that their money will ever be seized directly for the "little people." Rather, their money will be necessary (as it always has been) to keep the wheels of governmental corruption turning.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bill- "Trickle Up Poverty" is the Left's actual goal (and the inescapable outcome of this insane immigration policy). In this equation, poverty equals power for those in control.

John the Econ said...

Quite frankly, I don't think Senator Sessions goes far enough. I think all immigration should be stopped until we absorb the millions who are here now. How would I define "absorbed"? When the demand for ever-increasing government services decreases.

Ha. But we know that won't happen, because ever-expanding government services is the agenda here.

I recently read that we're approaching a point will 20% of the US population will be 1st-generation immigrants. Amazing. This will be the highest it's ever been in modern times. "Legal" immigration is now at over a million a year.

Once again, I plead for some legitimate journalist to ask the President point-blank this simple question: "Exactly how is flooding the marketplace with millions of low-wage workers going to help the plight of the unemployed, underemployed, and underpaid in the lower and middle classes?"

The only people who benefit from this agenda are 1%-ers who run low-wage industries and upper-middle and above-class households who can afford to enjoy in-home domestic services.

BTW, I expect Hillary to come out against open borders any day now. She desperately needs a way to re-connect with middle America and divorce herself from the insular leftist elite, and this could be the way to do it.

John the Econ said...

@Fred Ciampi asks, "don't the Hollywood Elite realize that their wealth will be redistributed as well? ...Or will it?"

Indeed. To these people, there are the "good rich" (intellectual political, media, & arts people) and the "bad rich". (exploitative capitalists) The "good rich" largely expect to be spared. For one thing, notice that most redistributive schemes promulgated by these people do not target "wealth", but "income". In other words, "I've got mine, good luck getting your's".

Also consider that when you've got 7-figures or better of wealth, (Buffet's, Clinton's Gore's...) "taxes" becomes far more abstract. If my taxes go up 5%, there is an obvious effect upon my lifestyle and well-being. When you're worth tens-of-millions? You don't materially feel it, or if you think you will, you hire another tax genius for $100,000 to figure a way to save $200,000.

The same goes for the support of other causes, such as "climate change". My guess is that if gas would go back up to $5/gallon or your electrical rates were to double, it would mean hard sacrifices for most of you. Think Buffet, Gore, Clinton or Leo Di Caprio's lifestyle would suffer? Not an iota.

That's what I find so fascinating about the Obama era. The elite have become completely guiltless as they spout their pieties. The Democrats have literally become the Marie Antoinette party where it's leaders can scream "What difference does it make?" without a tinge of guilt or irony. Billionaires shamelessly support policies that would make it impossible for anyone to achieve what they did.

And as long as "the poor" laud this, they will remain "poor".

Colby Muenster said...

But, look on the bright side, they...
I mean, we....
Ummm... then again...
Errr... what was I going to say?

Never mind. Where'd I put that effing bottle of "coffee"...

But seriously, anybody wonder why O'Liar is going to retire in Hawaii? Not much chance of a shitload of illegals moving in next door, raping his daughters and littering his yard with beer cans, right? Oops! Sorry. Did I write that?

@Fred Ciampi,
I also am witness to an encouraging sign. Every day since 2007, I've been driving by a little shitbox house that had a shitbox car parked in the driveway with an Obama sticker on the bumper. I would think to myself, "How's that hopey changey crap doin' for ya, dumbass?" About three weeks ago, the Obama sticker got covered up with a Cruz sticker. It did my heart good to see that sticker covered by something other than a Billary one.

John the Econ said...

Well, it looks like Baltimore is the latest destination for thug tourism. Whatever sympathy might have existed over the questionable death of Freddie Gray has now been forgotten, to be replaced with disgust by the purposeful and organized announcement and subsequent violence.

Wolf Blitzer says he is "surprised". He can't be that dumb.

The incredible aspect to this story is that Baltimore mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake literally invited the thugs, by actually saying It’s a very delicate balancing act, because while we tried to make sure that they were protected from the cars and the other things that were going on, we also gave those who wished to destroy space to do that as well.

Well, they've got space, and they are now destroying. How generous of mayor Rawlings-Blake to offer up other people's property to be destroyed in the name of political correctness. If I was an owner of any property or business (or shareholder thereof) that has or will be destroyed tonight, I'd be seeking recourse.

This is why intelligence and integrity is important when we elect people for office, either local or national.

Not wishing to appear oppressive, the Baltimore police have basically disappeared, leaving an entire neighborhood at the mercy of the thugs and looters. Political correctness now determines when police will aggressively act against obvious criminals. (After all, this isn't like it's something seriously dangerous so society, like a Tea Party gathering)

Scenes to remember the next time another one of those anti-Second Amendment weasels raises their head spouting nonsense about how guns for "personal protection" are not necessary in our civilized, post-modern age; when you need them the most, the police are not going to be there to protect you or your neighborhood, especially when it's been officially abandoned in the name of "giving space" to "those who wish to destroy.

Popular Front said...

That 'open borders', 'come one come all' bullshit policy was enacted by our previous dopey leftist Strayan gubment. fortunately it was immediately knocked on the head by the incoming conservative adult administration but not before we 'gained' a further 50,000 welfare-for-life 'asylum seekers'. Oh, the unadulterated joys of multiculturalism! That is, THEIR stoneage muslim culture which now exists in 1&1/2% of our population which WE,the other 98&1/2% must make constant allowances and concessions for, according to them.
It is amazing that a lot of these so-called 'asylum seekers' were rescued by our Navy off their rickety boats wearing Rolexes and Versace shirts and toting Gucci luggage, indeed quite a lot of them use their generous welfare entitlements (again, thanks asshole socialists) to visit their former shithole homelands on vacation.
The upside of this ludicrous immigration policy is that many of the younger ones have gone back to the ME to join ISIS and about 100 or so have been blown up or away already. It says a lot for your lack of military prowess if you're getting shot dead by equally dumbass Iraqis.

PRY said...

I'll tell ya about a stinkin miracle! And that's the one where Shrilary is discredited to the point that Unca Joe or Fauxcahontas is moved to the #1 spot from the left's flimsy bench, due to the scandals that I feel Barry is throwing out just like his dumb jokes at a dinner!

With a couple score or more GOP contenders for Prez and the Hilarygate stories, it's actually sorta kinda interesting so far. I do want Biden to be the dude, tho...he's just a creep to women, milennials don't like to vote for old men, so the Republican might, just might stand a chance to win it all. Yeh, that would be a miracle, too!

Man, that was a good cartoon today, tho!

REM1875 said...

I think it is us taxpayers that these two have been throwing over the tables.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- The statistics are beyond depressing. As you say, quite soon 1-in-5 people in the U.S. won't have been born here. Considering the fact that "assimilation" is already dead and buried, this can't end well.

And I read today that 1-in-5 American households are now surviving with no employment whatsoever (that is, no one in the household works). It's pretty hard not to have "income inequality" when vast numbers of people - by choice or circumstance - have opted out of generating income entirely.

Interesting speculation about Hillary. I'm starting to wonder if she'll actually ever say anything relevant on any sensitive topic, or just continue to run on her catchy slogan: "Dammit, it's my turn."

And good observations about why the Hollywood (and other) elites aren't likely to take it up the tailpipe like the rest of us.

@Colby Muenster- It is pretty hard to find the upside to all of this, isn't it?

And frankly, if Barry thinks it's easier and more cost efficient to fly an illegal immigrant's entire extended family here rather than simply deporting one person, then I say we just re-route those aircraft to Hawaii to dump the "dreamers" on his soon-to-be doorstep.

Regarding the bumper sticker, do you think the car's owner finally had a change of heart - or was the replacement sticker some mild vandalism from someone else who was sick of seeing the Obama message?

@John the Econ- I'm stunned, depressed, and pissed off that the mayor of Baltimore gave permission for wanton destruction of private property. If this is her idea of "free speech," it shows not only her own idiocy, but in what low regard she holds the black population of her city.

You make an excellent point about how all of this dovetails with the importance of the 2nd amendment. Frankly, I wish there were more private property owners in Baltimore exercising that right...

@Popular Front- You just know that there's a buttload of future terrorists coming in with the throngs of other immigrants. Frankly, I think that's fine with Barry. There's nothing quite like random acts of terror to increase calls for authoritarian government.

@PRY- I, too, hope that Biden is the eventual candidate. It would be hilarious to watch, and the Lefties would stay home in droves on election day.

@REM1875- This is why it's best to order politics "to go."

John the Econ said...

@Stilton, there's no question about it that the now open borders is just a part of the "fundamental transformation" we were promised 7 years ago. With 1 out of 5 citizens being new, there's no longer any need for "assimilation" to the old America; the one we knew where we became the wealthiest and most powerful nation on earth. After another generation, it will be us old Americans who will be forced to assimilate.

Although this will be painful and sad to many, it won't go the way the Progressives assume either. The vast majority of those newcomers are openly hostile to cornerstones of the Democratic left; mainly militant atheism/secularization, homosexuality and women's rights. It's not going to go as smoothly as they assume.

On Hillary: Don't totally write her off yet. Remember, the Clinton's are masters of "triangulation", the management of diverse constituencies to build an electoral majority. At some point soon after she's formally obtained the Democratic nomination, expect her to swing far to the right, just like Bill did in '92. I expect that there will be several "Sister Souljah" moments, where she'll stage a bold smack down a traditional far-left constituency in order to better appeal to "middle" voters. (Personally, I doubt it will work, because nobody will believe her; Bill could sell ice cubes to Eskimos whereas she couldn't sell a life preserver to a drowning man. But she will try)

She's not dumb, and she can read polls as well as we can. The Democrats know that outside of the Beltway, over 2/3rds of Americans outright disapprove of Obama's open borders agenda. So my prediction is that one of those "Sister Souljah" moments is going to be on immigration.

The hope is that enough "middle" voters will buy it. The immigration groups will predictably get outraged and act unhinged, which will reinforce Hillary's position with those on the right. The intelligent Democrats will ignore it, because they will assume what I do; that it's a triangulation position that she herself doesn't actually believe or has any intention to follow through on. And those on the left who are truly offended? What are they going to do? Dump Hillary and throw their support behind Ted Cruz? They've long since been slaves to the devil.

Sooner or later, she's going to have to take a hard position on something. But even then, anyone who remembers the Clinton's from the '90s or who is following the details of the current scandals will know better. Their position on any topic literally is for sale.

John the Econ said...

Baltimore and "Free Speech": That's Progressive America in 2016. Say the "incorrect" thing about gay marriage, and get fired or have your business destroyed. But if you're black, young, and angry, you can go ahead and literally destroy a community and there will be plenty of "community leaders" ready to step up to a microphone and defend you.

2nd Amendment: Like the riots in LA, Ferguson, and other cities the collateral damage remained mainly in commercial areas. Why? Because the thugs are not dumb. They know that behind at least half of those doors in residential areas are scared, pissed-off, or somewhere in between armed citizens ready to blow the heads of anyone who came through their doors uninvited.

Can anyone seriously argue that residents would have been spared vandalism, robbery, rape, or murder had private citizens not been armed? Especially after the police literally retreated from these neighborhoods?