Monday, July 6, 2015

Day of Rectuming

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, malia, lena dunham, hbo, girls, analingus

As if we needed another reminder that our national culture has literally gone down the crapper, it was revealed this week that first daughter Malia Obama has taken work as a summer intern on Lena Dunham's screamingly liberal, graphically sexual HBO series "Girls" - which infamously featured an onscreen act of analingus.

By the way, analingus should not be confused with Aer Lingus, which is a lovely Irish jet service which you can enjoy without chugging a bottle of Listerine afterwards.

The scene in question "starred" (boy, has that word lost all meaning) alleged actress Allison Williams, who is the daughter of disgraced former NBC news anchor Brian Williams. Which, we're pretty sure, amounts to some kind of liberal media incest which is probably described with a word ending in "lingus."

We don't really blame young Ms. Obama for wanting to pursue a career in show business like her father, but out of respect for the American people and our national image abroad we wish her parents might have encouraged her to find work on a show which fewer people find offensive.

Say, The Dukes of Hazzard.

Don't panic. It's just a donut.


Bluebird Bob said...

God, you guys are sooo funny.
I wish I had the ability to write as well as you do!
Keep it up!!

Geoff King said...

I remember when Captain Kirk and Uhura performed the first interracial kiss on TV in 1968. That was considered highly risque back then. Now, it seems, anything is acceptable. Makes me glad that I no longer even own a television.
Gay marriage now, possibly bigamy and pedophilia to next be normalized. As our society dives head first into decadence, I have to wonder if the Biblical judgement against Sodom and Gomorrah may also lie in our future.

Joseph ET said...

It’s too bad the first brat isn’t allowed to work for Mc Fastfood and learn to interact with real people. I guess it would be difficult to hide her bodyguards that are carrying real guns. The bonus of working in the entertainment field is she is more likely to meet some other rich folks that may have a good looking son. It’s always better to have a “boy toy” that’s rich. I guess that would also apply for “girl toys” too, if that’s the way she swings.

Bobo the Hobo said...

Malia and Sasha had no control over how they were raised and having lived in a household where liberalism rules, I give them a little leeway when it comes to how they react to the "real world". Calling Malia a "brat" is unseemly as she (to my knowledge) has never shown the contempt for her personal protective agents and the American public that Chelsea displayed and continues to display. That said, it's a shame their parents have allowed their daughter to be debased and used so Lena Dunham can garner more liberal praise.

TrickyRicky said...

All in keeping with the lack of decorum in this White House, and unfortunately in this society. We truly are becoming the zombie hordes in those emails featuring the 2AM Wal Mart people. Glad I've only got about twenty years max to put up with this crap.

Fred Ciampi said...

Some of the shows on broadcast television would have, back in my day, been called porn. There is a show about a women's prison that features scenes that were more risque than some of what we saw back in the 60s overseas. I get embarrassed sometimes when I visit the grand children and they have shows on that feature goings-on that should be done behind locked doors. Oh, well, I guess I'm just an old fashioned type.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bluebird Bob- Thanks!

@Geoff King- I wouldn't normally comment on a story like the one today except that it really does seem emblematic of the moral breakdown and hedonism which accompanies the death throes of a society. And it just struck me that the movie "Idiocracy" has once again proved to be prescient, having predicted a future in which the most popular movie is titled "Ass" and features only a butt.

@Joseph ET- The first daughters will never know what it's like to work a minimum wage job, and that's a pity. Such jobs teach life lessons that can never be learned in private schools.

@Bobo the Hobo- I agree, and I hope that my commentary today reflects the fact that I'm not beating up on Ms. Obama, but rather the coarsening of our culture and the lack of good-sense guidance provided by her parents. And for what it's worth, Malia's job is still way more respectable than the money-laundering, charity-robbing "business" that Chelsea Clinton now helps administer.

@TrickyRicky- Drudge has a link to a story claiming that scientists say we're on the brink of achieving immortality. That strikes me as the worst news since Barry's reelection.

@Fred Ciampi- Decades ago, the first two x-rated movies I ever saw were "Midnight Cowboy" and "A Clockwork Orange." Both are excellent films dealing with serious subjects, and the rating meant that someone Malia's age couldn't even be admitted to the theater. These days, both features would probably get a PG-13 (if that) and are milder than the fare routinely shown on HBO and other (ahem) "premium" services.

This is one of the reasons why I watch a lot of old movies on TCM, and stream a lot of old sitcoms on Netflix and Amazon. Not because I'm offended by nudity, but because I prefer shows which had to rely on smart writing and good acting instead of gratuitous bathroom jokes and flashing boobs. Case in point: does anyone think "Casablanca" would be a better film if it included a nude scene with Humphrey Bogart?

Suzy said...

I guess it helps my diet that you just ruined donuts for me.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Suzy- Hey, just be glad I decided against using the one with chocolate sprinkles.

Chish McFicken said...

I still think if you did a DNA panel on Barry, Mooch, Malaria and Sushi
you'd be hard pressed to get a match. Ya' know Stilton, I'm having serious
arthritis issues with my knee but your strip made me laugh harder than that
big hydrocodone tab I took earlier could ever do.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Chish McFicken- Oh, how I'd love to see DNA results from that whole family (especially Barry).

And glad you enjoyed some pain relief from today's punchlines. Laughter may be the best medicine, but hydrocodone still commands a higher price in back alleys.

Juanita The Icon said...


Finally the Obama family is doing what it does best? A collection of asses knows their sh1t.

OK cheap shot at the family when I really only meant the parents. But you know, ACORN[s] and all that.

John the Econ said...

Hey, a squirrel! As cynical as I am, I have to wonder how much of this is intended to create buzz to save some mediocre cable tv show that none of us were aware of before Ms. Williams introduced a new meaning to the term "motorboating" to our vocabularies. Mrs. Econ & I went motorboating with loved ones over weekend, but none of us had to take showers afterwards or otherwise be embarrassed over it. (I guess that in Progressive-land, one should be more embarrassed over their carbon footprint than sharing their anus with an entire nation)

In fact how much was Lena Dunham's phony rape allegation more about promoting her mediocre TV show than the cause of female well-being?

So of all of the TV shows that Malia could have possibly been an intern on, why this one? She could have interned practically anywhere in Hollywood. I mean, have I so underestimated the depravity of Progressive media culture that it's actually possible that Progressive fathers are happy to see their daughters getting "motorboated" in front of potentially millions of people? Did Brian & Mrs. Williams tune in and watch this show featuring their daughter with enthusiasm and pride? Even I still find that hard to accept.

Or is it that Obama is as clueless about the show "Girls" as he appears to be about practically everything else that's happening around his life, administration or the world; that it doesn't hit his consciousness until after he's read it in the New York Times?

Sandy Link said...

Happy Monday, all. As this is always the first email I open to see what special and edgy new cartoons can be aimed at the Nobama clan (maybe not the best word), I was especially surprised that I had to pick my jaw up off the ground this time. Wow, a new chapter in the house of screw it, I'll do it and I don't care what anyone thinks. I don't have HBO, nor any premium channels because the shows are just not entertaining in my opinion. I open a good book and let my own imagination take care of what I see. My grandchildren are going to be challenged to grow up "normally" in a country that comes at you for all sides with crapiganda deeper than the hole in the outhouse out back.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the whole Obama family can take a cruise on the new ship designed by the merger of the famous British Cunard Line and the Aer Lingus airline. It will of course be known as cunnilingus.

John the Econ said...

So what is happening in the world that's so much more relevant to real people's lives than what happens on the set of "Girls"?

It looks like the children of democracy have voted against reforming their economy in Greece yesterday. Greece is hopelessly in debt, and for various reasons there's no way they can ever pay off what they owe. Everyone knows this. What is astounding is that Greece isn't the least bit interested in changing, and simply wants the "rich" nations to pay more so that they can continue to live their charmed subsidized-socialist existence free from responsibility and reality. They seem content to be a welfare nation-state totally dependent upon the rest of the EU with a FU attitude towards anyone who thinks they should shape up and take responsibility for themselves.

If anyone needs an example of what welfare-as-a-lifestyle does to the spirit of a whole nation, I doubt you can do better than this. They wish to live a first-world standard of living, but aren't the least bit interested in working very hard for it. Their government and economy is hopelessly corrupt. It's possible for most Greeks to retire with full benefits long before reaching their 60s. You can easily imagine the indignation of the average German worker, who's being asked to pay higher taxes to support a permanent vacation retirement for Greeks while working at least a decade longer before being able to retire.

Amusingly, the meme currently being promulgated by the Greek political class is that the austerity being demanded by Greece's creditors is robbing Greeks of their sovereignty. Um, I hate to have to point out what should be blindingly obvious, but anyone who goes into debt to another has, by definition, surrendered their sovereignty. That's exactly why so many of object to phony stimulus scams that have literally doubled American's per-capita indebtedness over the Obama era. (For reference, current debt per capita in the US is around $60,000. In now officially bankrupt Greece, it's only around $40,000)

A secondary meme is that this is all the fault of the Germans, going back to their occupation of Greece during WWII. For this reason alone, the prosperous Germans should be forced to continue to fund Greek profligacy. (Does that meme sound familiar?)

Personally, I'm rooting for a Greek exit from the Euro. It will make a Greek island vacation very affordable for Mrs. Econ, Busty & I in a few years.

Also in the nooz: I'm now listening to that moron John Kerry struggling to find new ways to say that our negotiations with Iran are failing. Another deadline is about to pass, and nothing has really changed. But it's going well. Really, it is. Everyone will eventually get what they want; Iran will get sanctions lifted and a bomb, and Obama will get a legacy. Win-win.

@Geoff King, how far we've come in barely a generation. I hesitate to imagine what Kirk would have to do today to get a similar level of buzz. Perhaps being an advocate for interspecies pedophilia would do it. You're right, pedophilia is in the pipeline. It's been discussed in dark corners of academia for decades, and every year gets closer to letting itself out into the light. As I've been saying for years now, there's very little that's "liberal" about the left anymore, except in things sexual in nature.

@Bobo the Hobo, I agree that Malia and Sasha are not responsible for their situation as it is today, anymore than Chelsea Clinton wasn't 15 years ago. It is a shame that her parents are going to let Malia be a tool for that fraud Lena Dunham. Perhaps it's just a little pre-retirement planning on the Obama's part.

Charlie said...

I liked both Bobo's comment and your reply.
And now, back to butt-licking live and in color !

- Charlie Mitchell

Sergio said...

I don't know Anna Lingus, but I know her sister Connie. Taint much distance between them, they've always been close. Does HBO stand for Her Bodily Orifice?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Juanita the Icon- Acorns don't fall far from the buttholes?

@John the Econ- Lena Dunham is a walking, talking, liberal disaster. Besides centering her HBO show on bodily functions and orifices, her autobiography (in which she made that fake rape accusation) details her sexual exploration/abuse of her younger sister. She's a sick cookie, but media savvy. And I think Barry and Michelle are completely on board with letting Dunham mentor their daughter because she can help deliver more millenials for the Democrats.

@Sandy Link- There's a lot to be said for books and imagination, even if our culture has now embraced "Fifty Shades of Grey" as literature (sigh). And as you rightly point out, the greatest concern is what is happening to America's children in this omnipresent cultural cesspool. It increasingly seems to me that the Amish have got the right idea.

@Anonymous- That gives a whole new meaning to going down with the ship...

@John the Econ- Great summary of the craziness in Greece (although, flatteringly, your link about early retirement simply comes back to today's Hope n' Change). Who wouldn't want to live the lives that the Greeks have been enjoying? And how many Americans realize the extent to which we're doing the same thing?

Regarding Iran, I'd bet one of anything I have two of that a deal of some kind will be reached. Barry and Kerry aren't going to walk away from a "legacy" and likely Nobel Peace Prize. Of course, if I understood the timeline correctly, this protracted "negotiation" should have given Iran enough time to finish a bomb.

Per your observations about legalizing or normalizing freaking pedophilia, I don't think it's going to get the traction that gay marriage has (and which polygamy will). Unless the Supreme Court is willing to strike down the entire concept of statutory rape and the definition of consenting adults, the issue will go nowhere. In other words, we can only hope that it doesn't go before this particular iteration of the Supreme Court, or we can soon expect to see "KY for Kids" on store shelves.

Oog - I think I just grossed myself out.

@Charlie- I really do consider the first daughters themselves to be largely off-limits. Besides, I actually have high hopes that one of them will eventually write a scathing tell-all about her parents.

@Sergio- Either that, or HBO stands for "Helping Barack Obama." Case in point - I just heard today that HBO is making a reputation-smearing movie about Anita Hill's brave crusade to prevent abusive sex maniac Clarence Thomas from being appointed to the Supreme Court. I don't know who they're hiring to play Long Dong Silver yet.

Juanita The Icon said...

Si, el m├ędico - your question.

Colby Muenster said...

I'm guessing beastiality is on the horizon as well. Hell, why not marry your goat? They won't sue you when you separate, and they'll look really cute on that wedding cake!

Seriously, I'm pretty disgusted at the road our country is on. We only need to look at Greece to see our future. Or maybe ancient Rome....

I was off the grid for a few days and didn't get to see H'n'C until today, so thanks for the improved balloon placement on the latest Busty post.

PRY said...

It really is another step down the ladder of depravity acceptable on tv, as we have all witnessed since the 60s or so, in the visual and especially the language which is considered 'just fine' for tv! We are definitely headed for the 'ash heap of history' as a nation!

John the Econ said...

IMHO, anything that is labeled as "adult content", usually isn't. "Matureness-free adolescent" would be more accurate.

Janice said...

Even the Hope n' Change cartoon and article made me cringe. Too graphic--too much a part of the culture of depravity. Just a bit of editing, even some ***, would have helped.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Janice- Sorry about the cringe factor. I'll admit that I can have a rather earthy sense of humor (or worse, but "earthy" sounds better) though I try to keep it in check as much as possible. But in this case, I felt like I needed to be pretty specific to really make the point that this is not the sort of show that any 16 year old girl, let alone a First Daughter, should be working on.

There's no excuse for the picture of the donut hole, of course, other than that I'm a scamp sometimes (grin).

Anonymous said...

Seein' Humphrey Bogart's tobacco ravaged body would make me nauseous. Lauren Bacall not so much.