Friday, November 13, 2015

TGI Friday the 13th

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, wig, fbi, server, emails, benghazi

Of all the cover-ups associated with Hillary, we're least concerned with the one which (according to recent but unverified reports) may be covering up her scabrous, eczema covered noggin.

Then again, if Hillary is wearing a wig, it might well flip when she finds out that the FBI has expanded their investigations into her email abuses and possibly criminal activities.

On an unrelated note, even though it is Friday the 13th today, Hope n' Change feels like we owe you a little eye bleach after the image above. And so we present...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, busty ross, friday the 13th

Hope n' Change isn't normally superstitious by nature but we're forced to make today's post somewhat short owing to an unusual run of time-consuming circumstances that we'll blame on Friday the 13th (since we can't credibly blame the evil rich, vicious police officers, white privilege, or a vast Right Wing conspiracy.)

Within the past 24 hours, we've encountered thousands of dollars in new home repair bills, the need to immediately replace a defunct computer (and ship it via Fed-Ex's "money is no object" option which is usually only used for transplantable organs), and a blown water pump in our 22 year old car. And mind you, all of this happened while our ongoing (and completely unsuccessful) search for affordable (ha!) health insurance has been sapping our time and sanity.

Worst of all, we discovered that it was already too late to register the Internet domain name "PoopSwastika.com," which we had really hoped to re-sell for big bucks to either Black Lives Matter or a heavy metal band.

Hope n' Change has no explanation for this odd run of bad luck because we haven't walked under any ladders, broken any mirrors, or crossed paths with a black cat. Then again, maybe there's a half-black cat in Washington who is cross with us.

BONUS: SAFE AND SOUND


Although students are demanding that campuses become a "safe space" where they'll never hear things they don't like, we're guessing if they get their way they'll soon find it to be a very confining and uncomfortable space.

Case in point: at one "safe space" rally, an Asian student said she'd been racially harassed by a black male and rescued by the intervention of a white woman. She was booed, in the alleged "safe space," when she said that blacks, like anyone else, are capable of racism and nobody should be judged by the color of their skin.

Perhaps it's just as well that Martin Luther King didn't live to visit a modern college campus. It would be a shame for him to get his ass kicked by bigoted young thugs protecting their "safe space."

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

My condolences on not acquiring the PoopSwastika domain name. The poop artiste has struck once again, so this may be The Rise of the Turd Reich.

Jim Irre said...

Turds do float, you know. Isn't it time to push the handle?

Grafton Cheddar said...

Try "Poopstika.com". Might work. I won't even ask for a percentage...

Geoff King said...

I generally have good luck on friday the 13ths. It's the other 360-some days that give me trouble.
It will be interesting to see how long it takes Clinton to buy off or snuff the entire FBI.

Fred Ciampi said...

I just figured out a way to get better and cheaper health insurance: (1) Have another child, (2) Home school the child, (3) Send said child off to college and medical school, and (4) Keep child-now-doctor home to cater to your every medical need. It will be quicker and lest costly than obozocare. Trust me.........

Pete (Detroit) said...

That's it, there was a vote, it's official - I'm now part of Team PoopSwastika here at the orifice...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I am SO swiping the "Turd Reich" gag.

@Jim Irre- As the old joke goes, "flush twice - it's a long way to the White House."

@Grafton Cheddar- I appreciate the idea, but it sounds too much like a very bad Chinese pot sticker.

@Geoff King- Occam's razor suggests that it will be easier and more efficient for her to simply buy off or blackmail someone who controls the FBI and the Department of Justice. You know, somebody who might have secrets about Benghazi and the raid on Osama Bin Laden that he'd like to protect...

@Fred Ciampi- The health insurance search is a tremendous pain in the rear. The online materials you use to compare plans leave a lot out, there's a lot of confusion about which doctors and hospitals take which plans (or will continue to do so next year), and of course ALL the choices offer significantly worse coverage at significantly higher cost. It's a nightmare.

@Pete (Detroit)- Don't forget to print some "Pants Down, Don't Shoot" t-shirts.

Sally Jo said...

Hang in there, Mister Jarlsberg. I bought your book Obama Sutra (it's hilarious, by the way) to help defray your foundation/insurance/computer expenses. I know you'll make that $2.79 stretch. :)

Anonymous said...

That was cruel.

The juxtaposition of Busty Ross and that power-whore Clinton.

PRY said...

five minutes! five little minutes!!!!!! and I stopped to check the oil in my 18 year old car....it took....five minutes!!!!

Bruce Bleu said...

I've got a solution for your commentary on the "BlackLivesMatter" issue... have those "lives" establish their own country, "PoopSwaziland", THEN lamont can be the KING, (ever notice that corn-kernal next to his nose? His make-up usually conceals it).

chef621 said...

To all of you bloggers out there, who I read with gusto! CHEERS !!!! Keep em coming. (gusto is the guy with the black moustache)

John the Econ said...

Hillary: If she is ever actually indicted and serves even a minute for her crimes, it means I'm totally wrong about the Clinton's deal with the devil and with my argument that the bureaucracy is now just another appendage of the out-of-control Progressive machine. Won't happen.

Oh Busty, you tease!

"Poop Swastika": Hardly the silliest thing we've seen come off a college campus this week. Now we've got the spectacle of the "Million Spoiled Brat Walk:

"Students across U.S. march over debt, free public college"

"Hey, look at us! We are dumbasses for taking out debt for educations that couldn't possibly have made sense even in a good economy and now after the umpteen-year party, we want those of you who didn't made such asinine decisions to pay it off for us. Also, we want you to make college free, just like the primary and secondary schools that failed us so badly that we had to take remedial courses at our very overpriced universities that we went into debt for, because that will fix everything!"

Free stuff! It's just another example of why the GOP is doomed, because whoever the Republican candidate ends up being, they can't hope to compete in the bidding war for votes from voting-age useful idiots like this one.

She wants an equitable and fair system of education versus the "more corporate model we have now", whatever that means. (Can anyone actually imagine a corporation run like Mizzou?) They want free public college, cancellation of student debt, and a $15 dollar minimum wage for people who work on campus.

And it's all to be paid for by by taxing 1%-ers who are hording the wealth. And they should continued to be taxed until "we have a system where not 1 in 2 families are threatened in poverty". There's always going to be 1%-ers" and the 1%-ers won't leave because "America is the bastion of capitalism and its success".

All that I can see missing was a $15 dollar minimum wage for time spend in class and studying, and free unicorn rides.

I think she should sue her school for a refund. It's as though she was just regurgitating a bunch of stuff she heard in a sociology class, but really doesn't understand any of it beyond that. She certainly couldn't explain or defend anything she said beyond her recitations. She hasn't a clue as to what wealth is or where it comes from. She certainly doesn't understand what's happening in the other social democracies, which were already collapsing before being overrun by illegal aliens.

For every kid who should be in college, there's a dozen who shouldn't be. Case in point.

John the Econ said...

Oh, and I forgot to add this excellent video illustrating exactly where "higher education" has arrived in America:

The Future of American Education in One Disturbing Video That Shows What is Happening to Our Kids

That girl from the Cavuto interview would fit right in.

Bruce Bleu said...

Juan the Econ,
Regarding the cun... WOMAN in the Cavuto interview...
"y'know", "uh", "um", "y'know", Hey, I've TAUGHT at the college level, and any student that sounded like this ditz would have been given a grade commensurate with her ability to sound like a effing MORON! Holy CRAP... is THIS the quality of education our institutions of higher "looning" are creating? I've had SPEED BUMPS that exude more intelligence than "slit for brains" here! OBVIOUSLY she didn't study the communistic experiment in Jamestown in her "econ" class, or she's too damned stupid to understand the implications of failure, (the governor did NOT get a participation trophy after that fiasco, he CHANGED it to capitalism). "...are doomed to repeat it" should be the ONLY question on at least ONE test in university... "finish the quote" would be the instructions! We are SOOOOO screwed.

Slartibartfast said...

Stilt,
You have to look at the whole Friday the 13th thing in another light: At least it's not Monday the 13th. Those have always scared the heck out of me. At least it's the weekend!

Colby Muenster said...

At the risk of sounding like a sci-fi nerd, Billary's dome looks just like Darth Vader's when Luke took his helmet off. It was covered with rotting flesh due to being so entrenched in the "Dark side of the Force." I can separate sci-fi from reality, though. I'm not actually afraid of Darth Vader.

Sorry about your run of horrible luck, Stilton. Perhaps you should consider starting a movement called "White Satirist's Lives Matter" and demand that the rich One Percenters buy you a new house, new car, and pay your repair bills for you. Makes perfect sense to me...

Did you try swastikadelcaca.com?

Sortahwitte said...

To mister "I demand a safe space". Get your arm off that angela davis wannabe! You are a racist, raping brother! There's no room for you on the long march. Get on back to the classroom.

John the Econ said...

@Bruce Bleu, agree 100%. I actually cringe when I see someone purporting to be a "leader" present themselves like that, even when I totally disagree with them. I'm actually embarrassed for her. Seriously, is this the best this movement can do?

As I said above, she's obviously just parroting the 1-liner drivel she's been spoon fed by her Progressive "educators" in school for years. And she was struggling just to regurgitate it, much less contribute any original thoughtful argument. She hasn't a clue as to what she's talking about, as demonstrated by her complete inability to respond to anything Cavuto asked her.

The most obvious tell? When every single one of these people say the exact same thing, using the exact same words.

Just checked out "poopswastika.com" and saw that although the domain has been registered, the owner has done absolutely nothing with it. I'd at least expect a good one-liner. Come on idiot! You only get about 15 minutes of attention with something like that. At least put up an ad for cheap knock-off Ray Bans or something.

TMay said...

I am experiencing the same thing, only not limited to Friday 13. I have never had such a string of things dying. I even checked if Mercury was in retrograde and it wasn't.

George said...

Coordinated terror attacks in Paris now. When will it all end? Trumps ratings just went up due to his immigration stance. Just wow....

Fred Ciampi said...

And when, not if, will it happen here? There are 30 odd terror training camps here. Administration will do nothing......

Colby Muenster said...

Maybe there is something to this Friday the 13th thing after all. Our poor old dog, Bones had to be euthanized today due to a long battle with cancer. I believe that our beloved pets actually go to heaven, so perhaps old Bones is now young Bones, and he's in a place with endless rabbits, possums and squirrels to chase.

Bruce and Mr. Econ,
Total agreement! I'll admit to not being the most eloquent of speakers, but this twit is the leader of their movement?! Speaks volumes.

Joseph ET said...

Imagine if there had been just a couple of concealed carry folks in Paris today? How many may have been saved?
Gun FREE zones should scare the sh*t out of you!

And how about the invasion of Europe? How about the invasion of America?
Wake up America!!

David in SoCal said...

My thoughts and Prayers are with/for the victims and the families of the innocent French/tourists who were needlessly/senselessly butchered today by radical islamic terrorists from Syria/recruited by ISIS, who were ALLOWED to be in France; by the French Gummit who allowed tens of thousands of Syrian 'refugees' into their country. Now, I want EVERY American, with at least 1/2 of a brain, to realize that Dear Leader Obama wants to ALLOW 100,000 or more of these 'refugees' from Syria into our country. May God help and protect us all, Obama won't. Wake up America.

David in SoCal said...

And don't forget, my friends, that this morning, Oignorer said that "isis is contained". Yup, they are contained in many safe zones throughout the world.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- My deepest condolences about the loss of Bones. Making the decision to end a pet's suffering is simultaenously the most loving and most painful thing a human can do. I know the hurt all too well, and you have my sympathy.

@Readers- I'm transitioning my responses here to go straight to the Paris terror attacks, which mark a horrendously ironic reality check for the domestic college students who believe their "safe space" is more at risk from unwanted ideas than killers with guns and bomb vests.

@George- The Paris attacks are going to make Trump's "giant wall" look a lot more attractive.

@Fred Ciampi- But the Obama administration has done something recently. They undermined the "see something, say something" program by making Ahmed the Clockmaker into a hero and ridiculing people who take security seriously.

@Joseph ET- I recently saw a very effective commercial put out by the NRA, in which a "regular American" is saying he exercises his right to be armed so he can protect himself and his family in event of an attack from ISIS. How I wish there had been some armed citizens who could have shot back in Paris yesterday.

@David in SoCal- B. Hussein once again demonstrated his ability to be as wrong as humanly possible on important issues yesterday through his statements (prior to the attacks) that "ISIS is contained" and that he wants to accelerate and increase the influx of Syrian refugees (mostly men of military age) into our country, even though vetting them to sort out the terrorists is virtually impossible.

All Americans should currently be asking themselves "if Obama wanted to make it easy for our country to be struck by terrorists, what would he be doing differently?" And the answer is nothing. Whether by incompetence (as some believe) or intent (which, sadly, I believe), he's laying the groundwork for our next 9-11.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Tonight (Saturday) marks the second Democrat debate, and I can't help but wonder what kind of questions - if any - will be asked about the terror in Paris. I'm sure that each candidate will get the opportunity to express sorrow and mouth vague anti-terror platitudes.

But here's what any real journalist should ask: "Mrs. Clinton, you were in charge of security for our mission in Benghazi, whether directly or indirectly through oversight of the security professionals. The resulting security failure and deaths are undeniable. That being the case, if you become responsible for America's security, how will you improve on your performance over Benghazi?"

Geoff King said...

Øbama is correct. ISIS is contained. Thus far, not a single member of that organization has made it off this planet.

Chuck Baker said...

I think we are safe from a major ISIS attack here in the US until Øbama has left office. I suspect the next president will be a Republican, only because the left does not want to be in power immediately following Øbama (why else would they be re-running Shrillary against ultra-socialist Sanders?) Whoever follows Øbama will have to endure (and deal with) the fallout from everything he has done. Just as Bush took the heat because Free Willy ignored al Qaeda, the next administration will get the “credit” for everything that logically follows the actions of the current administration: major ISIS attacks, the complete collapse of healthcare, triple-digit inflation, skyrocketing interest rates, the collapse of Wall Street (super-inflated by 7 years of the Fed wantonly printing billions in “new” money), nationwide race riots (combatting “white privilege” of course), the final crumbling of the power grid and infrastructure (both destroyed and ignored due to regulation and apathy), and the ultimate spiral into anarchy as whatever remains of law-enforcement is defeated by the ever-increasing criminal/terroristic elements of our culture.

Or everything will be sunshine and daffodils, with a unicorn in every pot and an electric car in every garage.

Joseph ET said...

Saw a pundit last night that said we will not suffer a Paris style attack here because our intel community is so good and our 911 system works great. When asked about the Oregon shooting, he said that was just an individual and is not the same. Others are going on about how sophisticated this attack was because of the complex nature of multiple sites and the timing. All they needed was a plan and a couple of watches. “You go there and I’ll go there, we start shooting at eight o’clock.” The only difficult part would be acquiring the weapons and getting them into the venue unnoticed.

My ongoing concern is having our own Paris style attack shortly after the democrats lose the 2016 election thus giving Obama the excuse to declare martial law, and then . . . . . . , and then . . . . . .

I hope I’m wrong!

joe jetson said...

"...and in an unrelated story, tens of thousands of unidentified foreign nationals continue to stream, unchecked, across the U.S. Southern Border."

Popular Front said...

That black kid with the desperate-to-look-like-Angela-Davis afro has a petulant expression you would never get tired of slapping I think. As for young Mr Four Eyes, five gets you ten he's a noisy little queer.