It's more or less two weeks until April 15th, which means it's time for Hope n' Change to get serious about doing our taxes - a process which is more or less like performing a colonoscopy with an adding machine.
Frankly, we're tempted to just haul our overstuffed shoebox of receipts to Al Sharpton's new tax evasion service, H&R Black, for hints on simplifying the process and somehow staying out of jail.
But for now, we're entering data into "Quicken 2005" (the only version which will still run on our Mac) in preparation for using Turbotax ("As recommended by Timothy Geithner") to see how completely and painfully hosed we'll be this year. We're currently estimating that our taxes will be approximately 100 times what Hope n' Change actually brings in annually. And no, we're really and truly not joking. It's a long story, and one which we're not about to get into without a lawyer present.
In any event, that's why we're really not commenting about politics today - and can you blame us? The stories bouncing around the Internet include Trump's campaign manager being charged with "battery" on a female reporter for grabbing her arm (video of the event shows minimal contact despite her early claim of being "almost thrown to the ground"), one of Bill Clinton's many former mistresses claiming that Hillary had multiple abortions and only kept fetal Chelsea because political consultants advised that a baby might humanize their image, and John Kerry and Barack Obama complaining that the contentious GOP primaries are tarnishing the American "brand" overseas even more than Kerry's doofus bicycle accidents, Barry's torrid tango lessons, and - oh yeah! - the complete breakdown of anything like meaningful foreign policy.
But for now, we've got to get back to doing our taxes. In lieu of flowers, please send Scotch.
|Your tax dollars at work.|