Forget Sherpas - Hillary apparently now needs an entire expeditionary force of Secret Service agents just to haul her uphill, while a mysteriously ever-present special aide stands ready to give her an emergency injection of the anti-seizure medication Diazepam in case she suddenly starts foaming at the mouth and keels over from another "short circuit."
While we don't know how serious her conditions are, we do know that we've never heard sufficiently believable explanations for her previous blackouts, the severe head injury which Bill Clinton said took her "six months of hard work" to come back from, the blood clot near her brain, her thick prism glasses, and Huma Abedin's emailed warning to colleagues to handle Hillary delicately as "she's often confused."
Hillary's physical health is a genuinely legitimate issue in this election, and voters need to demand answers. Oh sure, last year she released the results of her pap smear - so we can only imagine that whatever medical condition she's hiding inside her skull must be even more terrifying.
BONUS: THE KING OF SWING
In the meanwhile, Barack Obama has made political history yet again by having just played his 300th game of golf while in office (and doing so in Martha's Vineyard, just so it would cost us more).
This is a remarkable accomplishment for a man who doesn't have time for security briefings (including the day after the bloodbath in Benghazi), who repeatedly failed to meet with his jobs council, a man who has presided in absentia over the worst economic recovery since the Great Depression, a president who presides over more Americans who are out of the work force than at any previous time in our history, a man who has created a boom (literally) in domestic and international terror, and who has opened our borders to a genuinely impressive array of vagrants, career criminals, and exotic diseases.
Happily, his final "fore" year term is nearly over. And frankly, we can't wait until he grabs his clubs and hauls his dimpled balls out of our White House.