Too Stupid for Words

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Although the president has been lecturing the American voters because they aren't bright enough to understand the sophisticated language of the Obamacare bills, it seems that even something as simple as the Surgeon General's warning on smoking is a bit too complicated for the president to understand.

At his recent medical screening, the president passed with flying colors...except for, oh, the little matter of his addiction to a life-threatening drug, which he continues to consume purely for recreational reasons, giving no thought to the grave risks his dangerous, druggie behavior inflicts on his family and his nation.

Technically, the physician's report says that Obama has not completed "smoking cessation efforts," meaning that when he's not puffing away, he's chewing nicotine gum of the kind that is itself both addicting and potentially life-threatening.

But to be perfectly fair, the president needs his cigarettes: after all, he has to blow smoke up a lot of asses...

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Do not operate heavy machinery,
suggest major legislation, or attempt to run a country while under the
influence of this narcotic.

UPDATE: Obama's medical report also suggests that he "moderate" his alcohol intake more than he currently does. This strikes us unfair, as our own alcohol consumption has skyrocketed since he took office.