Sunday, August 8, 2010

Suck It Up

In science, there is a principle known as "synchronicity" in which simultaneous but seemingly unrelated events appear, on closer inspection, to have a meaningful and possibly causational link.

Which is why the Hope n' Change news analysts were drawn to two recent stories: an all-time record 40.6 million Americans are now receiving food stamps...and scientists have discovered that sea sponges which do nothing but passively suck nutrients from their surroundings share 70% of their genes with human beings.

This could indicate that some humans have an actual genetic tendency to engage in spongelike behavior...or could indicate that sponges have been unfairly labeled as lazy when the reality is that "all the good undersea jobs were taken by coral."

But the ultimate proof that synchronicity is at work comes from the fact that the Democrats are cutting $12 billion from the food stamp program, despite the record need, in order to give the money to Democrat-friendly teacher's unions whose membership is 70% sponges.

Coincidence? We think not.


Spongebob Foodstamps: The Missing Link?


William A Manning said...

Sponges are well know for, well, being sponges. Same as liberals. Only liberal have been called before, but Ive never heard a sponge called a liberal.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Um, Stilton? Sponge Bob has a job as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab and loves to work. Geez! Don't you have any kids? But, to be sure, I think Sponge Bob is probably an anomaly amongst sponges. Your point is well taken.

In any case, the National Indoctrination Association is a very important part of the Democratic Socialist apparatchik. One of their "organs", as it were. It is far easier to indoctrinate them when they're young; to remove all connection to the brilliant and exceptional history of their country before they have attached any meaning to it on their own. This indoctrination, judging from comparisons between US students and those of other countries, takes precedence over such frivolous skills as reading, writing, mathematics, and reasoning. It all comes down to the new NEA motto: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Use modern, nonthreatening, diverse, politically correct, and socially sanitized methods to teach a man to fish, and he'll be asking you for a fish again tomorrow ensuring lifelong power to those who can provide said fish...

(Yeah, and to all the teachers gasping out there at this: I know you all are not lazy, disinterested "valued union members". However, there are enough out there who fit the mold that they are destroying your reputation as a whole - much as several similar individuals have destroyed the reputation of every unionized assembly plant employee in the US. I wish there were more of "the good ones" out there in both instances, but it is what it is...)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Emmentaler- We're not putting down old Spongebob...he was the only human/sponge hybrid we could come up with to put a little color on the page. And "foodstamps" sounds a little like "squarepants," right...?

Apart from all of that, we certainly aren't attacking all teachers. The really good ones are working against the odds and against their own unions, trying to accomplish a lot for very little personal reward. Which is one of the reasons we so intensely dislike the NEA; by protecting the bad teachers, they ensure that the good teachers will never earn a really competitive wage, or be recognized for their skills (unless they're "recognized" and told to lower their standards...or else.)

Bobo said...

Sometimes I feel like a sponge...with my life being squeezed out of me by the Dumb-o-craps.

Here in Arizona, our governor signed a bill last session to eliminate tenure for teachers. Now, the school districts don't have to retain senior teachers, which in effect, will let the liberal school administrators release "old school teachers" who still teach kids about mom, the girl next door, Apple pie, God, Country and the American way.

The liberal administrators and school boards can bring in fresh, young, like-thinking teachers who believe in the "poop" (which we will need to run the bio bug car) NEA and O'bama preach to indoctrinate our young ones on the vrtues of socialism and equality.

As Pink Floyd so eloquently sang: "We don't need no education....we don't need no thought control...Teachers, leave them kids alone."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Bobo- D'oh!!! They're firing the good teachers to pack the ranks with more libs?! Sigh...

Not surprising, but very disappointing. The clean-up job ahead of us all is huge...with everything from the Whitehouse to the local school boards needing a total revamp.

Bobo said...

I'm all for a house cleaning...the White House and the Congressional houses.

I'm doing my best to get the word out to family, friends, friends of friends and family, etc.

We need to vote for conservative candidates in the Primary and General elections.