New York Crimes

After an in-depth 15 month investigation, the NY Times has issued a groundbreaking exclusive report that says the brutal terror attacks in Benghazi had nothing to do with Al Qaeda, nothing to do with the anniversary of 9/11, and were in fact caused by a spontaneous outpouring of anger over an anti-Islamic video which had been on Youtube for months without anyone paying attention to it.

In other words, the NY Times is printing complete and utter bullshit (more so than usual, even) for the sole purpose of jumpstarting the rehabilitation of Hillary "What does it matter?" Clinton just in time for the kickoff of her presidential run.

The article, based on unnamed sources seemingly from Mars, blatantly ignores all of the evidence we already do know about the (ahem) WELL PLANNED TERRORIST ATTACK which took four American lives, left others gravely injured, and pretty much signaled the end of the United States as a meaningful player in the Middle East owing to the Obama administration's feckless (and fecked-up) non-response to the bloodletting.

Despite their alleged 15 month investigation, the NY Times still hasn't been able to answer one of the most pressing questions about the horrific night: where was Obama and what (or who) was he doing instead of giving a rat's ass about a US Ambassador being sodomized and murdered?!

The Whitehouse has already issued its blessing on the NY Times account of the debacle, which is hardly surprising since it was probably ghostwritten by a well-paid Bill Ayres.

But happily, there is still some integrity and honesty in journalism. Specifically, Hope n' Change is being entirely honest when we say that we're cutting this commentary short because this story has given us a pounding headache and a growing need to upchuck what might well be blood.

Our own, that is - as opposed to the blood of Americans which is now on the hands of the NY Times.

Happy Holidaays

Originally published Dec 26, 2010...



Can it really be that a whole year has already gone by since last Kwanzaa? And the answer is "no it hasn't" - because Kwanzaa is a week long, and so it's only been 51 weeks since the last one. Still, it just doesn't seem like most of a year could have gone by so rapidly.

It is, of course, a time of warmth and nostalgia for all of us, filled with holiday traditions and memories. Hearing Bing Crosby sing Nguzo Saba...watching "How the Grinch Stole Odu Ifa"...or settling in with a cup of hot cocoa to watch Jimmy Stewart in the classic "It's a Wonderful Walimwengu."

We only wish that everyone could keep the spirit of Kwanzaa in their hearts "24/7, 364 days a year" (as Janet Napolitano used to say). It seems like it's always our goal...and maybe this year we'll actually be able to stick to it!

But for now, Hope n' Change wishes one and all a very Heri za Kwanzaa. And a Hotep Ase Heri!

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Christmas 2013

In all seriousness, I wish I could send home-baked cookies to everyone who visits this site. But in lieu of that, let me wish everyone (whatever your beliefs) a very Merry Christmas, and also share my hopes that we can indeed someday share Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men.  

-Stilton Jarlsberg

Son of a Beach

Christmas is nearly here, which means that Barack Obama has returned (like leprosy) to his island home in Hawaii to burn through a few million taxpayer dollars, play golf, and eat shave ice while seeing as little of his family as humanly possible.

Not that his annual escape from Washington will be all fun. He might spend a few somber moments dabbing crocodile tears while offering condolences to the family of health official Loretta Fuddy, the only woman who saw, copied, and verified his alleged birth certificate before she was involved in a plane crash in Hawaii one week ago and, of all the people on board, was the only fatality.

As usual, the president will be staying at an insanely luxurious and expensive mansion in the little town of Kailua on Oahu (a town we know very, very well), on a beautiful beach in the shadow of a mountaintop concrete World War II pillbox which, thank heavens, nobody is likely to use as a nearly impregnable sniper's perch.

Which we can joke about (ha, ha!) because we know that the Secret Service will already have checked the pillbox out and made sure it was safe, in much the same way they made sure that the president's South African translator wasn't a violent, fraudulent, actively hallucinating schizophrenic.

It is not currently known if Barry, as he's known in Hawaii, will be reuniting with any surviving members of his old drug-addled "choom gang," or simply spending time on his own reflecting about how much he hated white people when he lived in Hawaii. Either way, "good times."

And so, Mr. Obama, Hope n' Change encourages you to stay in Hawaii as long as possible and wishes you a heartfelt "Mele Kalikimaka."

God knows you've caused enough of a melee back here on the mainland.

 Fun trivia note: it's still called "twerking" whether you're simulating sex or leadership!

A Great Gift

Tis the season for holiday classics and reflection on the world around us.

"It's a Wonderful Life" is one of our favorite movies. But you can't accept the premise of the film (that if we simply try our best to lead good lives, the world will be better for it than we might ever know) without also accepting that the Abortion Holocaust in this country (over 50 million since 1973) is likely depriving us of more good deeds, good people, and potential improvements to society than we can ever know.

Not that every fetus would necessarily grow up to be a George Bailey. But if you don't at least believe in the potential of a fetus - or a newborn - to become someone decent and of consequence, then you've hardened your heart to life itself.

But if you do believe in that potential, then you'll grieve the loss of so many lives. And mourn the millions of unborn who, unlike George Bailey, never got the chance to say "I want to live!"

Cold Poll

Forget about worrying that "you'll shoot your eye out" - it turns out that if you lie your ass off you're going to get stuck on a poll. Or so it would seem based on a new Washington Post/ABC poll which shows Barack Obama's approval rating at just 43%...the worst for any president in his 5th year since Nixon.

But Hope n' Change takes no particular pleasure in Barry's dismal approval numbers because we still can't figure out why they aren't lower. A lot lower.

Unless you're getting free money from the government (as so many are, by design), we can't think of any reason that anyone anywhere would approve of anything Obama is doing. Well, unless they're racists who refuse to judge a man by his words and deeds rather than his skin color. Or unless they're America-hating foreign powers building nuclear stockpiles.

Still, while the current lack-of-approval numbers aren't satisfactory, they may just be a start. Obamacare is already causing many of his former followers to turn against the president, and the real healthcare feces haven't even hit the fan yet (but will, on New Year's day).

After which, we triple dog dare any democrat to "run on Obamacare" in 2014.

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TECHNICAL NOTE: On Thursday, Hope n' Change is switching Internet providers. Hopefully there won't be any disruption to Friday's post, but if there's a big bunch of nothing here on that day, don't worry about it. We'll be back ASAP.

The Buttcracker Suite

It's getting harder and harder to comment on this administration using printable words. Happily, this video doesn't use words at all, but still captures the Democrats' "pass it to see what's in it" mentality while also making use of our nation's richest and most dependable supply of natural gas.

Blatant Holiday Sales Plugs: Don't forget that for the conservative on your Christmas list (or liberal on your enemies list) there are two giftable books (in print or dirt-cheap ebook form) available from Stilton Jarlsberg.

OBAMA SUTRA - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy, considered by many to be the greatest politically-satirical sex manual ever written.  Price reduced on the print edition through Christmas! And...

WHO CUT THE CHEESE?  A non-political (but still topical) parody of the bestselling "Who Moved My Cheese?" which offers hope to the jobless masses in today's rotten job market. Well, it doesn't really offer any hope. But over the past few years, we've all grown used to that - right?

Unreality Show

As Barack Obama delivered a self-serving eulogy which was only marginally about Nelson Mandela, his words were interpreted for the deaf by a man communicating in sign language which grew increasingly bizarre, while the message he was delivering became entirely meaningless. In other words, it was exactly like most of Obama's speeches.

But in this case, the alleged sign-language interpreter, Thamsanqa Jantjie, claims he was actually having a severe schizophrenic episode in which he started hearing voices, seeing angels, and believing that if he liked his health insurance he could keep it. Adding to the problem, it now seems that Mr. Jantjie knew as little about sign-language for the deaf as Kathleen Sibelius knew about hiring competent web designers.

To his credit, Mr. Jantjie tried to remain cool and composed when he noticed the winged lizards crawling out of Barack Obama's ears because he was still sane enough to realize that he was surrounded by dozens of well-armed security people who have extremely little tolerance for people who start to shriek and roll around on the ground near the president unless the SEIU has paid them to.

Happily, Mr. Jantjie is once again taking his anti-psychotic medications and should soon be ready to tackle an exciting new assignment:  hosting his own show on MSNBC and using sign-language to communicate with their many "differently abled" audience members who are hard of thinking.

Oh, Bother

We were tempted to call this "TelePrompter Practical Jokes," because it's so easy to picture Barry reading these words verbatim if he thought it would make him look good with the whole world watching.

Or at least the part of the world which was delighted when he skipped Margaret Thatcher's funeral entirely, but lowered American flags to half-staff for Nelson Mandela and hurried to South Africa with half his cabinet to share his inconsolable grief and maybe get in a few rounds of golf.

Some cynics were annoyed that Obama went out of his way at the funeral to shake hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro, but we think the president deserves brownie points for fighting his normal impulse to bow deeply and give the dictator permission to start enriching uranium.

The assembled crowd greeted a video appearance from President George W. Bush with booing - despite the fact that during and after his Presidency,  Bush's efforts in the war against AIDS in Africa have saved literally millions of lives...while Barack Obama has actually cut funding for AIDS reduction in South Africa.

Meanwhile, in his carefully-scripted eulogy, Barack Hussein Obama referred to Nelson Mandela as "the last great liberator of the 20th century," and this may well be true.

Because whoever finally takes our presidency back from the Democrats is going to be the first great liberator of the 21st century.

"Okay, everybody smile and say Apartheid!"

Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen

We're taking a snow day today, owing to the circumstances described above. A major ice storm hit north Texas last Thursday and knocked out our electricity and heat for 44 hours. This was amusing for about the first 15 minutes, but after the first full day (and interminable, freezing night) the Jarlsberg family found itself drifting toward Donner Party territory.

The thick ice-covered roads wouldn't allow an escape attempt, and the temperature inside our home eventually dropped into the 30's (it seems that Al Gore's promise that "if you like global warming, you can keep it" was as big a whopper as anything Obama has been saying).

And although everything isn't always about politics,  I've got to truthfully admit that in some ways my dark, frostbite-inducing home made me start drawing metaphorical comparisons to Obama's America: the familiar became unfamiliar, the safe became unsafe, and of course - there was nowhere to hide from the encroaching darkness and soul-deadening chill.

Eventually, in the dark of the third night, the electricity popped back on, and my family was magically transformed into the Amish in Wonderland - happily turning on electrical appliance with delight, wonder, and a sense of awe. Miracles! And heat!

Frankly, the whole situation was physically and emotionally draining enough that I just didn't have the marbles to make a standard post today. I'm still trying to get my mind out of survival mode and get it back into "life as usual" mode.

By which I mean I'll go back to worrying about Obama's healthcare plan killing me eventually, instead of worrying about Jack Frost killing me today.

Hawaiians have no idea what "yellow snow" is.

Fast Feud

In a speech that many are calling the best he has given in the last several days, Barack Obama begged people to ignore Obamacare's utter failure and the destruction of the healthcare system.

Well, that wasn't the direct topic of his speech - but distraction from Obamacare is clearly the real motivation behind the president's newfound desire to focus his final three years in office on the great  "fundamental threat" to American prosperity: income inequality.

It seems that in this great nation, there are still people who are earning more than other people - despite the president's best efforts to assure that nobody can earn anything at all.  And in fact, income inequality has done nothing but grow because of this president's fiscal policies - with the rich getting richer, and the middle class grasping at part time jobs because there are no other jobs to be had.

Which is why the same president whose signature legislation slashed employee hours and cost them their health insurance is now pushing for a higher minimum wage, so that people can enjoy self-respect and support entire families by flipping burgers.
 
Not that there's anything wrong with flipping burgers, waiting tables, or being a sales clerk; quite the contrary - those are great starter jobs. But wages need to be based on an employee's value to an employer - not on the employee's fiscal needs. Otherwise, the highest paid part time employees would be those who have unsupported children, unaffordable cars, and overdrawn credit card accounts. The best money would go to those making the worst decisions.

But the president made a point of saying that support for a higher minimum wage (as well as an extension of "emergency" unemployment benefits) "benefit all of us, because we don't know when we might have a run of bad luck."

Only it's not a run of bad luck that is forcing people into poorly-paying part time jobs. It's a run of bad governance.

Boxing Day

We'll admit it: reviewing news stories for inclusion in today's Hope n' Change failed to ignite our editorial passions, although did remind us why we're increasingly muttering obscenities to ourselves and exhibiting odd facial tics.

Just look at the crummy news stories we had to pick from:

Obama gave yet another speech about how great Obamacare is, surrounded by handpicked meat props who claim that they've seen benefits from the healthcare fiasco (although last time Barry did this, the majority of people claiming such benefits were lying through their teeth, and only expected good results eventually).  The president did not offer equal time on the stage for any of the countless people (including cancer-stricken children) who have lost their insurance.

Meanwhile, Detroit is officially bankrupt owing to a long history of government officials making promises which were never funded and couldn't possibly be kept. Sound familiar? And didn't a current president brag about having saved Detroit prior to the last election?

In other news, Barry's drunk-driving Uncle Omar has been given permission to stay in the United States, despite the fact that he arrived here from Kenya on a short-term student visa in 1963 and hasn't exactly been doing post-graduate research for the past 50 years. The White House claims that Barack Obama has never met his uncle, although Uncle Omar claims that Barry lived with him for 3 weeks while attending Harvard Law School. When it comes down to choosing who's lying - the president or an aging liquor store clerk - we're choosing to believe Uncle Omar.
 
Obama's Aunt Zeituni, best known for being a long-term illegal immigrant on the public dole, remains in the United States too. Which isn't news, but we just like writing the words "Aunt Zeituni." Say it out loud! It's fun! Zeituni!

What else? In the interest of transparency and a willingness to answer the really tough questions, the White House has arranged for the president to be interviewed by MSNBC's worshipful Chris "Tingling Leg" Matthews, which we expect to play out a lot like the old joke about the lonely traveling salesman who gets romantic with a milking machine that "don't shut off till it gets 3 quarts." Only as far as we can tell, Chris Matthews' will keep sucking forever.

Also under consideration was a news story about Obama's website, "Organizing for Action," sending out emails encouraging followers to throw get-togethers with their friends to commemorate the horrific mass killings at Newtown. The website even offers to send planning ideas "to help make your event a success!" Seriously, the blood of innocents is like mother's milk to this loathsome president and his cult of followers.

All of which (and more, Heaven help us) is why Hope n' Change just feels like putting its head in a box today and letting the world go by.  But that would be cowardly and, more importantly, the box we had in mind isn't empty yet.

It's currently full of cheap wine. And, by the time you read this, we will be too.

Half Vast

Despite the fact that the White House has giddily announced "Mission Accomplished" on repair of the Healthcare.gov website, two significant problems remain. The first is that the website really doesn't work very reliably yet, and the second is that when it does work, people are going into cardiac arrest when they discover preposterously high premiums and deductibles which make their new, government-mandated "affordable" healthcare plans unaffordable.

Both the Wall Street Journal and CNN tried to sign up through the new, improved "Healthcare.gov 2.0" - and both failed miserably. Which is probably just as well, because insurers are now reporting that when the website actually does collect information for an application, it frequently distorts and corrupts the information when sending it to the insurer...if it sends the information at all. 

Frankly, Hope n' Change wishes that the website would finally get fixed just so people would stop concentrating on it and look at the real impending disaster of Obamacare.

It's like being critical of the gangplank instead of the Titanic.

BONUS: Naughty or Nice?

To kick off the Christmas season, here's a very special video message to Barack Obama from Santa Claus! Feel free to share it with others!

Thanksgiving Leftovers

"Bed Sore," originally published Nov 25, 2011

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's time to get down to the serious matter of cleaning up all the leftovers.

By which we don't mean turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie.

Rather, we're talking about all of the political "leftovers" from earlier in the year... and the year before that...and the year before that. Like the failure to control government spending, the failure to establish any realistic energy policies, the failure to make America's strength known to either her allies or enemies, and the abject failure to seriously address our nation's unemployment crisis.

The thing about leftovers is that they get less and less appealing the older they get... and the leftovers cited above are absolutely ancient.

Although Washington traditionally does even less than usual (as hard as that is to imagine) between Thanksgiving and the new year, we'd be delighted if the politicians actually decided to celebrate the fact that they're employed by doing their jobs for a change.
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"Giving Thanks," originally published Nov 26, 2009


According to the latest Rasmussen poll, support for the Democrats' healthcare plan has fallen to an all-time low, with only 38% in favor. Only 14% of those polled believe that "healthcare reform" will actually reduce medical costs...and those 14% aren't exactly the sharpest carving knives at the holiday table if you know what we mean.

Obamacare is especially unpopular with senior citizens, who will be losing their Medicare Advantage plans, taking the brunt of $500 billion in cuts to Medicare and, according to the healthcare bill (page 1,637, paragraph C, subsection 2), "be cast adrift on ice floes, their wails and lamentations lost to the crashing waves."

(UPDATE Nov 29, 2013 It's very convenient that Hope n' Change can take a bit of a break by running cartoons from the archives today, but also somewhat depressing that these cartoons remain topical and accurate years later.  -Stilton)

BONUS: Oh, what the heck -  here's a fresh 2013 cartoon too!
 

Thanksgiving 2013

Actually, there is a lot that Hope n' Change is grateful for this Thanksgiving. Not booze, and certainly not politics, but rather things which are immeasurably more important - like health, family, and friends.

Best wishes to you and yours this Thanksgiving!    -Stilton Jarlsberg

Presidential Pronouncement

Following an exhausting, no-nonsense series of negotiations in Geneva, the Obama administration announced this weekend that it has successfully struck a deal in which Iran promises to maybe, possibly, slightly slow down building nuclear plants and enriching uranium to weapons-grade quality, in return for which Iran will send computer experts to the United States to repair the Healthcare.gov website by installing something called "Stuxnet."

The fact that Iran routinely and universally breaks such promises was pointed out (to put it mildly) by highly agitated Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who is beginning to suspect that Barack Hussein Obama was less than truthful when he promised "if you want to keep Israel on the map, you can. Period. Case closed."

Hawaiian's Punch

When the Hope n' Change editorial board met to decide today's topic, it was to difficult to choose between the brutal "knockout game" in which young black punks attack innocent people for no reason, or the ongoing disaster of people losing their health insurance and access to doctors because of Obamacare. And then it dawned on us: except for a question of scale, it's the same story.

The perpetrators of the violent "knockout game" have apparently been doing it for a long time, but the mainstream media has been actively covering it up as long as they could because reporting any particular story accurately would mean making a black man look bad. Sound familiar?

And the only reason we're hearing about the "knockout game" now is because the sheer number of victims is getting too big to ignore - in much the same way that it's also increasingly hard for the mainstream media to bury reports that 50 to 100 million Americans are about to lose their health insurance. Talk about a knockout punch!

Boiled down to their essentials, both stories are about those who are innocent and vulnerable being deliberately attacked by coldblooded bullies, with potentially life-changing or life-ending consequences.

Obamacare has become the equivalent of a dark and threatening back alley in a very bad neighborhood. And to paraphrase Nancy Pelosi,  God help those who are forced to pass through it to see what's in it.

It's all about "re-branding."

Sick Simpering Tyrant

To commemorate the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, widely considered the greatest American speech ever given on the topic of freedom and government of the people, by the people, and for the people, Barack Hussein Obama did...well...absolutely nothing.

And why? Because he was allegedly busy working on "the whole website thing" for Obamacare, almost certainly the most massive and historic example of a program which is entirely of the government, by the government, and for the government, while feeding "We the people" into a woodchipper.

Moreover, what the heck could Barack Obama have to say in favor of a speech which was intended to unite a divided nation? This president's entire administration has been devoted to dividing our nation - a task at which, sadly, he's been uncharacteristically successful. Not since the days of the Blue and the Gray have we seen anger and enmity ramped up to the degree we currently see between the Blue states and Red states.

We are living in an era in which Lincoln's words are being gravely tested. And we now risk finding out that a nation conceived in Liberty really can not long endure when so many people in the topmost reaches of power - including those at a certain Pennsylvania Avenue address - are dedicated to bringing this country to its knees.

Okay, we know Barry bragged about enjoying cocaine
but don't know if it was ever in the form of crack. So sue us.

Bupkis

@Readers- I won't lie to you. There's really nothing here you need to see or read today. There was nothing wildly compelling in the news, I'm still missing my dog terribly, and I was distracted all day Sunday by the bad weather sweeping across the Midwest. 

You see, Mrs. Jarlsberg and I used to live in a trailer in Indiana, and one dark and stormy night we had to say goodbye to each other over the sounds of roaring wind and thunder while hiding UNDER the trailer with the dirt, spiders, and our terrified cat in a box.

Fortunately, the funnel missed us by a couple of miles - but when the tornado warnings go off in Indiana (where I still have friends and family) I just can't focus on much else. Here's hoping that by the time you read this, the danger will have passed.

But since you've taken the trouble to show up and read this far, I'm at least sharing this YouTube video which may not be the most inspiring version of "Stout-Hearted Men" I've ever heard, but is certainly the most hilarious (even though the scat-singing "artist" was entirely sincere when he made this recording).  Caution: it is an earworm and it will live in your noggin forever.

Sing along, everybody!

Would You Like a Happy Ending?

This week saw the totally unsurprising revelation that around 100,000 Americans may (or likely may not) have obtained insurance through Obamacare, but over 5,000,000 Americans have already lost the insurance the president swore up, down, and sideways that they could keep.

Which is why yesterday, Barack Obama announced that with no legal authority whatsoever,  he's telling evil, "bad apple" insurance companies to renew the rotten, substandard, cancelled, and (oh yeah!) currently illegal policies that they used to sell.  Mind you, the president isn't making those policies legal again - he's simply issuing an executive directive for the Department of Justice not to prosecute those insurers who break the law.

If that seems confusing, just try imagining that the despicable, profit-mongering insurance companies are now receiving the same treatment as illegal aliens - lovingly embraced by the Obama administration and gifted with a "get out of jail free" card.

This move throws the already screwed up health insurance industry into total chaos. Prices are expected to rise for anyone unfortunate enough to actually have insurance,  insurance companies will need to renegotiate complicated deals with hospitals and provider networks, and confused consumers who couldn't (and can't) navigate Healthcare.gov will now be trying to strike deals with insurance companies who may no longer even do business in their state.

But the damage isn't limited to the healthcare or insurance industries. The "Obamacare uncertainty" which has bedeviled the economy and suppressed hiring has turned into absolute certainty that the idiots behind the Affraudable Care Act, from Obama on down, are lawless liars who couldn't find their own asses with both hands and a GPS unit.

Or, for that matter, with a "free" Obamacare colonoscopy.

If You Like These, You Can Keep Them

@Readers- Once again, I'm just going to let the graphics do the talking today. Because, as the old saying goes, "one picture is worth a thousand audits."  -Stilt

Deja Preview

Readers- I accidentally posted Wednesday's cartoons for a short while Tuesday night. So if you thought you saw some rib-ticklers on here that are now missing, it's not your imagination. But they'll be back just after midnight - along with yet another new cartoon I added to the mix!

Commandeerer in Chief

First and foremost, Hope n' Change Cartoons wants to salute and express the deepest possible gratitude to every man and woman who has served this country in uniform. You are the best among us, and we are in your debt. Veteran's Day should be every day.

But we couldn't bring ourselves to adorn this page with pictures of flags and parades today. Because such honors seem like a faux, feel good lie when we've saddled our military with a president who clearly has no respect for them, their mission, or the country and Constitution they've sacrified so much for.

Our veterans deserve every honor we can give them. But more than another fireworks display, they deserve to see honor restored to the position of Commander in Chief.  

Their Commander in Chief.

Until the rest of us accomplish that, we not only owe our veterans deep thanks...but the sincerest of apologies.

The Skies Have It

Readers- Nothing wrong here at the spacious office suites of Hope n' Change, but this morning I noticed this odd cloud formation and decided to take it seriously just in case the next such message says "You've rested enough; start building an ark."

So I'm taking a little down time today. On Monday, we'll return to the previously scheduled political disasters and idiocy already in progress. Enjoy your weekend and hug your dogs!  -Stilton

Obama Bin Lyin

Readers- I'm still dragging too much from the loss of our dog, Maggie, to be able to write a real commentary today. I'm struggling to find much sense in a world where good dogs die and bad men become president. So for today, I'll just let the pictures do the talking for me.    -Stilt

 

HEARTWARMING BONUS!!!

This is where Maggie sat in my office while I worked on cartoons and commentary, enjoying the gentle breeze from my air purifier. And this is the method which she always used (with 100% success) to let me know that we could both benefit by stepping away from politics and taking some time off for ear scratching.

Ipso Fido

Readers- No politics today. On Saturday, we lost our beloved dog Maggie (named after Dame Thatcher) after a long battle with heart disease.

She was a stray who adopted us, gave us 10 puppies only days later (all of whom were adopted into good homes), and who gave us many years of love and happiness.

She is missed tremendously...and if she is in Heaven, things have just gotten a lot noisier for any angels who arrived in the Hereafter still wearing their Earthly UPS uniforms. -Stilton

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Actual picture of Maggie guarding the Pearly Gates

Tricky Treat

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

As a special treat from Hope n' Change Cartoons, you can download a FREE copy of our ebook "Obama Sutra" ($2.99 value) from Amazon today! You don't need a Kindle device to read it - you can use any smartphone, tablet, or computer using the free Kindle Reader apps available at this link!

Be sure that the price shows at $0.00 before purchasing; sometimes Amazon takes a little while to adjust the price (the price is supposed to go to zero just after midnight PACIFIC TIME). The offer is good Halloween ONLY (and maybe a little while on Friday, but don't count on it). And you can find out more about Obama Sutra ("An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy") right here - it's the funniest political sex manual ever written (for adults only, but not as dirty as the deals we regularly get from the Obama Administration).

Enjoy your Halloween treat - and don't trust that mean Mr. Obama with your bag of candy!

 HALLOWEEN BONUS:

They prey on the living... Or at least, those who used to earn a living...

Broken News - And A Hope n' Change Puzzle!

READERS: Just for fun, here's the current headline from Drudge Report. Beneath that, you'll find the Hope n' Change cartoon and commentary, full of nutritious facts and snark - just like always...

 

But (and here's where the puzzle comes in), there's something just a bit unusual about the cartoon and commentary. Can you figure out what it is without peeking at the bottom on this page...?   -Stilton

When Barack Obama speaks, he usually uses language which is so vague, obscure, misleading, and ambiguous that when he actually says something that is 100% clear, we can be sure of one thing: he's lying.

As a case in point, the president ramrodded Obamacare by repeatedly promising the American public "If you like your health care plan, you will be able to keep your health care plan. Period. No one will take it away. No matter what."

Well gosh - that certainly seems clear, direct, and hard to misinterpret!

But according to a new report from the Treasury Department, under Obamacare the majority of employer-insured Americans won't be able to keep their current health care plans. Period. No matter what.

Up to 90 million Americans will be forced by the government to purchase more expensive health plans, whether they want them or not. And up to 80% of small businesses will have to scrap their current healthcare plans...and choose between purchasing more expensive government-designed plans, or simply cancelling employee insurance altogether and paying a less-expensive fine.

Of course, the only real news here is that it's now the government confirming all the dire things that conservatives had been warning about in the many months preceding the passage of Obamacare.

But seeing an approaching asteroid isn't the same thing as stopping it.

PUZZLE SOLUTION (Scroll Down)...

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Okay,  the unusual quality about the cartoon and commentary above is that I published them on June 13, 2010...over three freaking years ago (under the title "Details, Details"). That's how long people who've paid attention to non-mainstream (but entirely legitimate) news sources have known that the government itself was predicting millions of people would lose their healthcare insurance. But did anyone listen to us? NooOOoooo! (By the way, the original post included a link to an article detailing the Treasury report, but I've removed it since the page was no longer active.)

Hope n' Change wishes we could take credit for having great insight or a supernatural ability to predict the future, but the truth is far more humdrum...and one helluva lot more depressing.  Per the commentary above, it wasn't hard for us to see the asteroid hurtling our way...but we were powerless to stop it (at least in part because the Obama administration conspired with the IRS to make sure that the Tea Party couldn't organize voters for the last round of elections).

Hmm. When we decided to post this little "blast from the past," we thought it would be sort of amusing. But on reflection, it just makes us tired and sad. And damned angry.

Happy News

Actually, the second panel pretty much sums up Hope n' Change's assessment of the current news cycle. None of the stuff we've been harping on forever has been made any better by the morons in charge (even slightly), but not much new has gone wrong in the past 24 hours in spectacular enough fashion to really demand a cartoon and commentary. Especially if it means postponing our drinking.

But if we didn't post SOME cartoon this morning, we were afraid that readers would think that we'd given a Canadian firm (and one of Michelle Obama's classmates) a few hundred million dollars to revamp the website, and that in the future you'd be forced to call a live operator to hear someone talk nasty about the Obama administration.

Nope, it's just a somewhat slow news day...which we should savor while we can. Especially since Barry has given Israel almost no choice other than unilaterally attacking Iran within the next few weeks.

Now that will merit a fullblown cartoon and commentary. Assuming we're all still here.