GOING FOR THE GOLD
Unsurprisingly, when Putin stopped laughing he immediately sent buttloads of troops into Ukraine. And speaking of buttloads...
LEADING FROM HIS BEHIND
Hope n' Change thinks it's pretty safe to say that the conversation above really happened. And finally...
LOCKS OF LOVE
Of course, the "Brother's Keeper" program rather begs the question of how Barack Obama's own half-brother is doing. And the answer is: not great, because he's still living in an African slum and getting no help whatsoever from his fabulously wealthy half-brother, who just happens to be the most powerful man in the world - at least when he's not out of the White House and taking multi-million dollar vacations.
For now, Hope n' Change would like to encourage Mr. Obama to make use of the NSA's vast databases to do a little basic genealogy. If he finds any actual brothers (or sisters) we didn't know about who need help, we'll happily do so. If not, then he can STFU and start trying to serve all Americans regardless of race.