Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Endorse You Rode In On

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, bernie, hillary, dallas, blm, old crofter, scotch

Tis the season for endorsements, as Bernie Sanders proved yesterday when he finally gave his presidential endorsement to Goldman Sach's pin-up girl and multi-millionaire Hillary Clinton, saying that she would carry on his fight against big banks and income inequality. Bernie's supporters are, of course, confused - more so even than usual - since Hillary represents everything Bernie claimed to despise before he recently received an anonymous note pointing out that his withered old windpipe probably couldn't support a set of barbells very long.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama traveled to Dallas, Texas to speak at the memorial service for the fallen police officers who were murdered by an angry black man who believed - for some inexplicable reason entirely unrelated to 8 years of the president's racially inflammatory rhetoric - that white police officers have "acted stupidly," that "a deep distrust exists between law enforcement and communities of color (who) aren't just making these problems up," and that "power concedes nothing without a fight" of the sort seen in the Ferguson and Baltimore riots.

In any event, Mr. Obama used the occasion of the memorial service to morally equate the deaths of five Dallas officers with those of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile (and throw in charges of institutional racism for good measure) - even though the facts aren't in on those latter deaths. Through direct implication the president was actually siding with the monster who assassinated the police in Dallas.

On his return to Washington on Wednesday, the president will be convening a summit of sorts at the White House today in which (ahem) civil rights leaders and police representatives will discuss the institutional racism of robots, and how they can be stopped from blowing up young black men with promising futures.

Hillary Clinton has also endorsed Black Votes Matter - oops - Black Lives Matter, by declaring that she's going to be talking to (gasp) white people about how they need to do a better job of listening to the concerns of our nation's oppressed, even if it requires learning ebonics. Granted, Hillary herself may not be listening closely enough either...



Which brings Hope n' Change to the important matter of making our coveted endorsement of "Old Crofter" scotch and citing its critical role in helping us survive the daily news.

While not a "top shelf" brand (it's perhaps more of a "prop the basement door open with that bottle" brand), it's actually more drinkable - and only slightly more expensive - than our previous rotgut "Clan MacGregor" (slogan: "It's kilt better men than you")

Mind you, we have the kind of sophisticated, highly-trained palate that can fully appreciate the subtle nuances and characteristics of a really fine, lovingly-aged scotch. Which is how we can tell that "Old Crofter" isn't one by a longshot. Still, it's affordable in these tough economic times and, unlike anyone in Washington, actually does the job.

AND FROM THE VAULT...

 
No kid in America could tell you what this story is anymore.

39 comments:

REM1875 said...

Ahh yes memories of watching my dear old Uncle, a fine Marine officer, pouring clan mcgre"GORED" into chivas regal bottles saying they never know the difference and he was right. Which says more about his guest. All of whom were supposed to be the upper crust.
Well doc I am happy to see the economy has allowed you the extra 38 cents a bottle. Yes trickle up economics raise the tide which will sink all our boats- or something like that.

Ray Haimson said...

Bolshevik Bernie and Hitlery Form Non-Aggression Pact!!!
In the biggest political hypocrisy since Hitler and Stalin became each others Valentine in 1939, sclerotic old Socialist crank, Bolshevik Bernie Sanders has endorsed the She Fuhrer of the Democrat Party, Hitlery Clinton!

TrickyRicky said...

I'm fond of Speyburn, a passable single malt at a fair price. It's pretty light, no peat or smokey overtones, but it works....really well, and every night.

Manfred said...

Thanks for this. Made me laugh out loud. I am old enough to have read Little Black Sambo to my kids.

chef621 said...


:-) My favorite is Jesus. Free, and He's the light, no smokey overtones, works really well and 24-7. Cheers!

Graylady said...

I remember my sons asking for tiger butter on their pancakes. But I recall elections when there were 2 worthy candidates to decide between.

Geoff King said...

With many so-called republicans stating that they won't support Trump and some, such as Laura Bush, going as far as hinting that they will instead vote for Hillary, the illusion of a two party system appears to be over. The establishment has already decided who our next president will be, and the actual election will be a rigged travesty.
One of my few memories from kindergarten was a giant mural on the classroom walls depicting the story of Little Black Sambo. I have often wondered how long that remained before the PC police demanded it be painted over.
I never developed a taste for scotch and will stick with my Black Velvet, thank you.

Fred Ciampi said...

Ahhh, time to make the trek 82 miles back into the mountains for some of that fine, well aged, corn lickher. It's been aging since at least Monday. And 180 proof too. Good ole' rottengut. Then if I finish it by November I can decide if I need to get some more......

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- I've read studies about how presentation (in your uncle's case, an expensive bottle with inexpensive contents) can genuinely shape people's perception. If it was later in the day (and I was more awake) I'd try to make an analogy about all the politicians who are disguising themselves as bottles of Chivas while their actual contents are rotgut.

@Ray Haimson- It really is a stunning endorsement. I've always been appalled by Bernie's beliefs, but gave him credit for having a certain integrity and honesty. Endorsing Clinton destroys that.

@TrickyRicky- I'd reply, only I'm currently writing "Speyburn" on a scrap of paper...

@Manfred- Glad you got a laugh or two. Even though the news hasn't gotten any better, I thought we could all do with a lighter hand today. And yes, I'm old enough to remember "Little Black Sambo" and his brief reinterpretation as "Little Brave Sambo" before the plucky youngster was finally banned as being irredeemably racist. And buttery.

@chef621- Bonus: no bottles to recycle!

@Graylady- I always wanted some of that "tiger butter" when I was a kid. Heck, I'd buy it now! And yes, if you can remember two worthy candidates running against each other, your memory does stretch back quite a ways.

@Geoff King- I agree with everything you said about the upcoming "election." Darn it. Regarding Black Velvet, that was my brand of choice for years, but I actually found that cheap scotch & water is a bit smoother than cheap bourbon & water. On the other hand, Black Velvet is a much better mixer when added to a coke or a bowl of cornflakes.

@Fred Ciampi- Someday I'd like to try a taste of that shine. Election Day seems like a promising date...

Cookie said...

With what's happening in our great nation I almost wish I was a drinker. It might help me sleep better at night. Even though I don't drink that sort of thing, I think I could still go along much better with Stilt's endorsement! Cheers!

American Highlander said...

How ironic the Sambo story was really about an Indian boy.
There used to be a blend only available in some states called MacLeod's Isle of Skye. It was very smooth and pretty cheap. Then all of sudden you couldn't buy it anywhere anymore. Friend of mine told me the Japanese had bought it and you can only get it in Japan now. I'm a beer and ale man, meself.

mjloehrer said...

What a fabulous cartoon. You and Thomas Nast are one of a kind.

Bruce Bleu said...

I can tell you all why the book based on this story has fallen into the realm of the unknown... it was renamed "Little African-american Sambo". The change was made mandatory when it was discovered by literate negroes that "sticks and stones" were less damaging than "names", (curious thing, since honkys, crackers and whitey don't react to names being that powerful).

txGreg said...

Back when I was a young lad growing up in West Texas (the region, not the town), I remember that we frequently ate at a diner (maybe an A&W? maybe not) that had small faux stained glass panes depicting scenes from Little Black Sambo arranged around the tops of the walls. I can't be certain, but it seems like you could indeed ask for "tiger butter" to go with your pancakes. I remember it tasting much like regular butter.

I also remember back then when I had not been told that the color of a person's skin was significant in some odd way. I just had friends. I didn't even know that some were black friends, some were brown friends, etc... Too bad people like our President and other race-baiters can't be bothered to try to teach that lesson today instead of the divisiveness that they seem to prefer.

Berferd said...

We recently found a new-quality copy of Little Black Sambo for sale - snatched it up quickly. Now our grandkids have read it themselves.
Used to be a pancake restaurant chain called Sambos. Served what they called Tiger Butter - was actually half butter and half margarine.
Like txGreg, grew up with some of all flavors and didn't realize there was a supposed difference because of color. Each kid had their own personality, but that's what made life interesting.

Anonymous said...

I remember the Sambos restaurant chain. The demise of that group was the beginning of the Political Correctness crap!

John the Econ said...

I really had to give Bernie credit yesterday as I watched him give his relatively glowing endorsement of Hillary while holding his bile down. Quite an act, considering that she is the walking embodiment of everything he's spent his whole career rallying against. (Even so, it still wasn't enough for the New York Times) It only remains to be seen if Bernie's kids will swallow this as well, or if they'll stay home come November. A large percentage of Bernie's supporters were into Bernie not because of socialism, but because he was a crusader against DC insider corruption and crony capitalism. (a position we actually do share) It's already known that many of those people will be jumping over to Trump.

The left can say what they will about Trump and the dysfunction of the GOP. But the fact remains that yesterday, the Democratic Party officially became the party of the very wealthy and the very poor. The poor will be thrown scraps in the form of mediocre social programs & subsidies to keep them in line, while very wealthy Progressives can assuage their guilt about being so wealthy by publicly supporting Progressive policy while still being able to afford their lifestyles that allow them to insulate themselves from the consequences of those same Progressive policies.

If you're not one of those groups, then you are left to suck it up in the forms of higher taxes, disappearing social-economic opportunity, and deteriorating communities. Clinton is literally the Marie Antoinette candidate; she'll continue to acquire power and wealth while spewing contempt for you dirty, little people.

It's rarely put exactly this way, but the rise of Sanders and Trump is the result of what I've been calling the Progressive War on the Middle Class. The amazing thing is that the elite class seems to be caught totally off guard by this.

Dallas: Anyone else notice who has been conspicuously absent from the shootings and Dallas cluster? Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Years ago, these two would be front-and-center. But today, it's almost as though they've been whisked away to some bunker somewhere, or at least muzzled. Interesting. Could it be that they've been ordered to stay out of sight, since they add nothing good to any situation, and their presence would only serve to hurt Hillary and push non-BLM voters to Trump?

CenTexTim said...

What's the difference between Old Crofter and a car battery?

The car battery has a negative side...

Colby Muenster said...

"...his withered old windpipe probably couldn't support a set of barbells very long." I see what you did there, Stilton. She would NEVER off the old fart that way, though. Who the hell would believe Bern lifts weights? It would be something more like a freakish yet tragic Depends Undergarments accident, or an accidental Centrum Silver overdose.

Black votes matter?! Holy cow, Dr. Jarlsberg! You absolutely HAVE to market bumper stickers or posters of that with Billary's picture on them. I'll buy one!

John the Econ,
The government culture you describe sounds vaguely familiar. I got it! You're talking about the USSR, right? Is the real truth coming out about Chillary? Is she actually striving for a complete communist society like the USSR, where she is filthy rich and the rest of us fight over sacks of potatoes or rolls of toilet paper?

Concerning good cheap booze, it's OK to numb the pain a bit, but let's stay sober enough to watch our surroundings. I am a fortunate man indeed; my wife keeps a nice collection of good single malts, and occasionally even lets me take a sip!


John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, I have little doubt that after 4 years of Hillary, America will look a lot like Putin's Russia, largely run by and for the benefit of oligarchs. Perhaps that's why Putin likes Trump; He doesn't want the competition.

Shelly said...

Stolen from the interwebs:
Bernie endorsing Hillary is like Occupy Wall Street endorsing Goldman Sachs.
Some people vote Republican and some people vote for a living.
How many times Obama said I during his speech: 74.
How many times Hillary's head bobbed during Bernie's concession: in the hundreds!

In my adult life there was a Sambo's in Garland, Texas, with the mural. And this was after the Civil Rights Act of 1965.

Finally, no surprise Obama fell into his usual racial ranting and gun control screed. It's who he is (to borrow one of his favorite tropes).

NVRick said...

@REM1875 There was an episode of BULLSH!T in which a "water sommelier" would recommend several choices of "designer" water to clients in an upscale restaurant. The diners would make a choice and the "sommelier" would make a fancy presentation of several brands. The discerning folks would make comments on the various brands and select the "best" one.
Video was shown of all the bottles being filled from a hose at the rear of the restaurant. So, like many things, the choice was just being pretentious.
Like Little Black Sambo, I was also treated to the wonderful book and movie "Song of the South". Uncle Remus and the children represented what society should be now: people of differing ages and ethnicity getting along together. The stories of Bre'r Rabbit and his friends were entertaining and also sent messages about getting along in life.

Rod said...

It took a long time to learn I could be accused of racism because as a kid I had a black Spaniel mix originally named "Sambo". The small town was also about as segregated as one could be then; but I didn't notice that either. I know NOW that was all-OK because I didn't INTEND any racial bias with the dog. When that great friend and other dogs since became just "Sam", I was redeemed. And like Hillary and Barry; if you think I'm lying about all this, fuck off. You can't prove it.

Fred Ciampi said...

Folks nowadays just seem to look for an excuse to cry "racism". Everyone's walking on eggs, being ever so careful to not say something to offend someone. Well, I say that if those people are so easily offended by what is said or printed they should move to another planet. There will never be a time when a statement is made by anyone that another person won't be able to find something offensive about it. Well, all those idiots are just going to have to suck it up and grow a set. Political correctness has set civilization back about 26 million years. So there!!!!! And Sambo's is an acronym of the founders' names. And the main character, Sambo, is Indian, which is Asian not negro. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sambo%27s.

GenEarly said...

Trump 2016 or forgetaboutit

Dan said...

Tigers weren't native to Africa, IIRC, so Sambo should've been South or Southeast Asian. British colonizers described anyone not fair-skinned (and some who were) as black, yellow, or just wogs (or other descriptors).

We has a Sambo's in Austin in the early-mid '70s. Wasn't really that good. A quick web search revealed there's one "original" Sambo's left, in Santa Barbara. They claim being "the" original one, too. The SAM from one owner's given name, the Bo from the other owner's surname.

I hope Trump will be able to convene a civil rights conference at the White House. And leave out Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, the entire Congressional Black Caucus, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and so forth. Have the Sheriff from Milwaukee and the Police Chief of Dallas provide major input as to attendees and agenda.

Shelly said...

@Fred Ciampi, you are so right. Political correctness is a basic tenet of the Marxists. Control the language, control the people. They also have successfully implemented the Alinksy rule "Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.” This is how conservatives have been blamed for everything wrong in the country and branded as racists. As far as the offense industry goes, the problem is the offended ones have been elevated to a status they don't deserve. We've reached the point where if one person is offended by something, it is removed to the detriment of all others.

p said...

GrayLady - been trying to think of ANY election that had 'two good people' in it - Kennedy / Nixon? Ike / Stevenson? Seems like every election in MY lifetime (since 1964) has has at least one useless doofus...

For "coffee" I like Admiral Nelson's spiced rum, Cherry flavor (the regular is drinkable, but the cherry is actually tasty) At ~$12 / liter, it's pretty efficient...

Pete (Detroit) said...

p >> Pete (Detroit)
Yeesh..

Boligat said...

@Dan

My brother used to live in Santa Barbara and knew Sam Battistone personally. He said Sam was one of the nicest guys he had ever met and didn't have a racist bone in his body. The name did indeed come from combining the founders' names. Apparently the owners structured the restaurants so that a lot of people made a lot of money, not just the founders, but I don't know all the details. That doesn't matter much, though, when the PC police come to town. After all, as O reminds us, 'you didn't build that." Oh well.

MAX Redline said...

Now the Leftists are trying to Alinsky comment sections. That's pretty low, even for them.

By the way, nothing wrong with Clan Mac; it's a step up from Everclear.

David in SoCal said...

Thanks for the laughs and insight everyone, this little piece of Heaven here at H-n-C is one of my only outlets for reality and humor, besides watching Blazing Saddles for the 1,000th time. Although I'm not a Scotch/Bourbon/or Whisky sipper, I do enjoy me an ice cold shot of Fireball with a Miller Light chaser, especially fireside at our favorite campground.(pinky finger properly extended during the 'sip', of course) Unlike Randle McMurphy, I'd much rather have a 'Bottle in Front of Me', especially with the current crapfest this political season has to offer. Mrs. SoCal and I played a drinking game during Ofirestarter's latest campaign speech at the Dallas Memorial. She drew 'Intellectual Pause' as her trigger, and I drew 'Pouty Pooched Lower Lip' as mine. We both passed out within the first 3.339 minutes. Can anyone explain that poochy lower lip thang with Imam Obama?? Remember when your Mom yusta say"If you keep making that face it will stay like that forever"?......http://www.medicalbag.com/body-modification/pucker-up-lip-plating-still-in-vogue-in-remote-tribal-villages/article/472684/

TrickyRicky said...

@David in SoCal- My Dad used to say "If that lip drops any lower, you'll step on it". Unlike our Dear Leader, I outgrew that particular pouty affectation in grade school.

Colby Muenster said...

David in SoCal,

Try doing the O'Liar drinking game where the trigger is the word, "I." You'll never get remotely close to 3.339 minutes.

And we now have an answer to that age old question: "What sort of low life, scumbag, turd head turns a eulogy for a murdered policeman into an anti-constitutional speech for political gain?"

Colby Muenster said...

Odd occurrence... The "captcha" for my last post was to identify images with coffee.

Jess Sain said...

No, but I can. I remember going to the library and checking that book out and being amazed at the story and bravery...but then I was a wee lad 55 years ago and my opinions have changed along with the culture. Now I root for the tigers.

Popular Front said...

"If that lip drops any lower, you'll step on it"

@TrickyRicky - my dear old Sicilian Grandmother used to say "If the wind changes your face will stay that way" for the same reasons.

David in SoCal said...

@Colby: No shirt! Like Shelly said, he said 'I' 74 times; a record low for him in a campaign speech that long. If you remove the 'I', 'me', 'my' and intellectual pauses from Imam O's TOTUS rants, his 30 minute ravings would be only 1 minute long.

Just heard on the news a 1/2 hour ago there was a terrorist attack in Nice, France; involving a towelly headed islamic radical muslim terrorist driving a large delivery truck through the crowds butchering at least 75+ innocents vacationing/enjoying the Bastille Day celebration. French Police eliminated the islamic pile of goat shit; and I hope they douse him with pig blood before he is buried. Can't wait for Imam O to label this as 'Seaside Violence'.

Chris said...

Spot on.

Play it again, Sambo.

(Yes, I know that Humphrey Bogart actually said, "Play it again" without the Sam, just in case another Casablanca aficionado goes all crazy over it.)

I, too, remember the old Sambos restaurants. You're a better man than I, Gunga Din!