Friday, August 19, 2016

A Stitch in Time?

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, 96 hours, health, medical, campaign, bride of frankenstein
And the brain was from, uh, "Abby" someone.
With rumors already flying about Hillary Clinton's health, people are puzzling over the latest reports that the candidate is taking 96 hours off from campaigning with early voting only weeks away. Is it possible that she needs immediate medical attention - likely for procedures not approved by Obamacare or most major religions?

According to unnamed sources (and frankly, we think it's sad when parents fail to name their children), she's currently being stuffed with youthful organs harvested from kidnapped Bernie supporters, shot up with prenatal stem cells, getting a new Die Hard battery for her defibrillator vest, having her wandering eyeballs realigned, being fitted for a new designer colostomy bag, and getting her vocal cords sharpened.

Hillary is also said to be subsisting on an intravenous drip of rye whiskey mixed with orphan's tears, but as far as we know there's no medical reason behind it - she just really likes orphan's tears.

30 comments:

Fiftyville said...

[10 seconds of loud laughter]

Mike aka Proof said...

Today's cartoon makes me want to vote for someone Elsa...

Ben Rumson said...

EYEGORE!
My absolute favorite since the Gun counter guy, which is what I do.
Fantastiche and well done.
An extra shot of single malt for you, dear boy. (A little Keith Moon lingo there)

Squidball said...

After watching Hillary and her seizures on a Utube video, and her being jabbed in the ass with a human feelings hormone injection so she could continue her fake smile and fake caring about the voters, I wonder if the chemical industry is up to the task of providing sufficient quantities for her dosages. After all, it IS a big ass.

Geoff King said...

What difference, at this point, does it make?
Her Royal Highness is so protected by the MSM that, despite not even giving a press conference in almost 260 days and making sure that any actual debates occur when only 27 people will be watching, she is still supposedly surging in the polls and is all but guaranteed a landslide victory.
All she need do is be propped and drugged up for her inauguration speech and then her puppetmasters will take over control of our country.

pdwalker said...

HAhahaha... another one nailed out of the park.

Granny said...

The woman is a worry.

Dr. Strangelove said...

I think that they had to bring Kim Jong Hillary's reanimated corpse in for routine maintenance. She has the empathy of a rabid badger and a voice like nails on a chalkboard, minus the pleasant qualities.

pdwalker said...

Dr. Strangelove: I thought those were her pleasant qualities?

TrickyRicky said...

@Proof- Very nice!

Fred Ciampi said...

I notice that the large dark fellow who was following The Hill around with a needle in his hand has been missing lately ... or maybe I'm just not watching the right news. Oh, wait, I get all my news here at H&C.

On a happier note; if The Hill needs crutches I hope that they give her a pair with one shorter than the other. Then she will have to walk around in circles. Now where did I put that moonshine.

Rod said...

HILLARIOUS! With a strong cup of coffee and this cartoon I feel a little better.
Was that one of the old bath houses on Highway 7 in Hot Springs, Arkansas? Bill used to get charged back up there as well.

American Cowboy said...

No need to worry about the shrews health status affecting it's ability to ruin, uh I mean run, the country.
It can take lots of days off, just like it's predecessor.

Dick said...

Great stuff. And true, mostly, kinda.

Bruce Bleu said...


Blogger Ben Rumson,
"You get the blonde, I'll get the one in the toiban."

Dr. Roger Harris said...

What's the difference between HTC & a tribe of smart pygmy women?
The latter are cunning runts!

Alfonso Bedoya said...

Shame on all of you posters. The woman is just trying to make an honest living, and she naturally wants to be in top condition. One more shot of formaldehyde should do the trick. It would also permanently remove her facial wrinkles.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

(and frankly, we think it's sad when parents fail to name their children) Man, I love ya, Stilton! Oh, and the rye is required to sterilize those orphan's tears due to her current delicate condition. She normally takes them straight up.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Come to think of it: this may become the first opportunity for dead democrats to vote for one of their own...

John the Econ said...

Give me a break. They didn't buy the organs from Unplanned Unparenthood. They were paid for by the taxpayers.

As for Hillary's health: Even if the rumors are not true, she's looking worse and worse physically. One can write some of this off to the rigors of campaigning non-stop for a year and a half. But at the rate she's deteriorating, one has to wonder how she could possibly survive 4 years of the actual office. I'm starting to wonder how she'll make it to November.

But the reality is that there are a lot of people who have literally invested billions into the Clintons, and they become nearly worthless should Hillary fail to win the election. They're in too deep to quit now.

Colby Muenster said...

Giggle... STILTON, you should be (snicker) ashamed of yourself (giggle)! This is in such (snort giggle) poor taste.

And I'm pretty sure, in your version, Igor doesn't say, "Nice knockers!" Prolly more like, "Oops! Doctor, we accidently sewed a pair of bowling pins into her abdomen skin!"

NVRick said...

@American Cowboy:
"ability to ruin, uh I mean run, the country."
You had it right the first time.
And the ability is hard-wired.

Shelly said...

I've watched the video several times where she freezes at protestors during a speech and the large black man runs up to her, puts his arm around her and says "You're all right, you're not going anywhere, just keep talking." I've also watched the video of the "seizure" where her head bobbles and eyes roll around when confronted with several questions thrown at her. It seems fairly obvious she cannot handle anything spontaneous and only appears at tightly controlled venues. This would explain the lack of spontaneous press conferences. I'm pretty sure the big man is not a SS agent, but is (was) there to keep her on track when this happens. There's been rumors he carries a diazepam injection but this has not been verified. What is obvious is she cannot handle sudden stress and this is definitely not presidential.

DougM said...

Monkey glands.
Gotta be monkey glands.

Popular Front said...

Hello H&C stalwarts - remember a few months back when there was plenty of speculation (from us) that Hideous Hillary would never make Election Day because of impeachment/indictment/subpoena and so on? She seems to have weaselled her way out of that one as far as I can tell, but how about this? Given Clinton's fawning adoration by the leftist media Greek Chorus is it just possible that all this 'health issues' tripe being bandied about - head injuries, wandering memory, diazepam, anger outbursts etc etc - is just a slow leaking cover story to disguise her face-saving exit from the election race on a wave of thin public sympathy?
Think about it. The Democrat 'backroom boys' have seen off that old crypto-commie Sanders, they'll feel that they'll get belted sticking with Clinton, Biden is a demonstrated asshat so he's out leaving.....who?

Wahoo said...

She's misfiring more often than Yul Brenner in Westworld.

Rod said...

Too bad NBC doesn't get concerned at all about Hillary's long-time, persistent, deliberate and most serious of all lying... but they jump all over Ryan Lochte's drunken, confused, youthful exaggeration. And the "OMG: Vandalism & Damage" took a while to be reported but it was tearing down a poster & pissing on a shrub behind a gas station, probably because the head was busy and he really had to go. We've all done that.

Lochte's was the most courageous, heartfelt, direct, no weasel-wording, "I take all responsibility" and sincere apology I've seen in long time; but NBC really enjoying taking on the role of prosecutor & judge and filmed him for 20 minutes. They intend to broadcast every bit of it. Meanwhile their events coverage left a lot to be desired and many basics unexplained. NBC is a disgusting network. With Rio Olympics closing tonight; I'm again done with NBC for a long time.

James Daily said...

The mob is the mother of tyrants. Diogenes
Amazing that this philosopher had seen what was to come in this country ~320BC. We are having to contend with corruption at all levels with no hope of getting accountability. We have a physically and mentally sick person wanting to be one of the most powerful office holders in the world for no other reason than ego. I believe not even she believes that socialism or communism or fascism has a chance of success in this or any other country. Then to achieve this end is using violence of the ignorant to intimidate those that just want peace and contentment. Even sicker yet is both political parties trying to achieve this end. Personally, I do not feel much empathy for this nation as it may get what it wants thru stupidity.

Ben Rumson said...

Could be worse,at least it isn't raining...
One of my all time favorite movies,certainly from Mel Brooks.

Ben Rumson said...

Stilt,a fun idea:
Would you consider printing small stickers of the last frame image of Elsa/Hillary, just the size we need to add to Hilary bumper stickers?