Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Licking Her Health Problems

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, cough, huma, lesbian, bush
The healthiest woman in the universe just had another 4-minute long hackfest on stage during a local campaign appearance, coughing uncontrollably while spraying blood-flecked sputum on the high donors in the front row - which normally costs them extra.

Naturally, many people are concerned that it might not be something serious. Which is indeed possible: rather than cancer, tuberculosis, black lung disease, or esophageal syphilis, the problem might be as simple as allergies, nodes on her vocal cords, or her lungs filling with the choking smoke of Benghazi as the spirit of Ambassador Stevens desperately tries to channel a warning to voters through her.

But of course, if would be the height of journalistic irresponsibility for us to speculate on any such medical diagnosis here without also soliciting a professional second opinion...

And speaking of people we're sick of...

BONUS: HERE'S ANOTHER FINE MESS YOU'VE GOTTEN US INTO, STANLEY
obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, stanley ann dunham, nude, son of a bitch, G20
Well, her pictures DID get around on the Internet a lot...
In the waning days of his presidency, Barack Obama is facing a new level of candor from world leaders who previously only called him a douche nozzle, stuttering fustercluck, or dweebie jug-eared girly-man behind his back...or while addressing huge, cheering throngs in the streets of their own hellhole countries.

Now that this policy of formality has finally been rescinded, Hope n' Change suggests that everyone describe Mr. Obama in similarly colorful and accurate terms! Not that this would be an entirely new practice here at HnC Central, as the NSA - and 8 years of audiotapes - can surely attest.

34 comments:

Squidball said...

Just when I thought your descriptions of our least favorite duo, Obama and Hillary, you outdid yourself. I am still chuckling over this. Thanks.

George in Houtx said...

I saw a news article today that really caught my attention! former-President Jimmy Carter was saying how sorry he feels that Obama has shown to be this country's worst president ever. and he made it sound so sincere, too. I was not aware that Mr. Carter wsuch an accomplished actor! heck! I thought ol' Jimmy would have been celebrating that Obama took that title away from him.
I'm beginning to wonder if Hildabeast doesn't pull that coughing stunt every time she she doesn't want to answer a question.

REM1875 said...

Doc you obviously think pretty highly of your readers to think they will catch some of your more twisted, obscure, high ended humor AND I totally agree- we are a twisted, bright lot.
Once again Great job

For some reason when I think sHrillay's health may be a problem in finishing this race -"Week-end at Bernie's" comes to mind and I am not exactly sure why. cough- cough

Dr. Strangelove said...

My sources are telling me that rumors of deliveries of Purina Hairball Control to Hillary's New Castle home were just that, rumors.

Dr. Strangelove said...

This just in: My sources have confirmed that the root of the cough is due to a yeast infection.Huma is now scheduled for a doctor visit to begin treatment.

Anonymous said...

If you'd said that about my mother I'd kick you in the balls. And so would she.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

To be perfectly accurate, Duterte called him a "son of a whore", so I don't think Duterte knew her. I think he KNEW her...

And, frankly, I couldn't care less what is wrong with Hillary. I just wish it would hurry up with her, and spread to all her friends.

David in SoCal said...

Good form Stilty! I was just telling Mrs. SoCal yesterday that Screamery's cough was probably a by-product of carpet-munching Huma the hag handler!

chef621 said...


Loved it! If she does perchance get in, maybe Kaine will kill her, if he is Able and then he will be potus. Wonder how that would be? Hmmmm.........

chef621 said...


Alex does a good one here. http://www.infowars.com/mainstream-media-turns-against-hillary/

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Squidball- Glad you enjoyed the cartoons!

@George in Houtx- Carter was a rotten president, but I never thought he was evil. Which I can't say of either Obama or Hillary.

@REM1875- I do think highly of my readers. And because this is my playground, I allow myself the freedom to include gags and references which occasionally border on the obscure. I like to think that if people get the jokes, they'll like them that much better.

@Dr. Strangelove- I appreciate the updates from your highly-placed sources!

@chef621- I appreciate your Biblical perspective.

@Anonymous- I can honestly say I've never heard a bad word about your mother.

@Emmentaler Limburger- I saw Duterte's words translated both ways, but it was more fun to write "son of a bitch" in the cartoon. Besides, I'm not sure Barry's mother was a whore - as nearly as I can tell, Barack Obama senior lived on grants and scholarships and didn't have any extra money to spend on self-loathing commie prostitutes.

@David in SoCal- One good thing you can say about Hillary: she can hold her licker.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@chef621- It's always nice to get the Biblical perspective on these matters.

Geoff King said...

During her coughing fit on the plane, an aide handed "Illery" a supposed glass of water even though she had a bottle of water right in front of her.
What could possibly have been in the glass that was not in the bottle? Medication? Vodka?
She claims allergies although the symptoms appears to not include sneezing or a runny nose, only coughing.
Perhaps she will use the allergy excuse to not show up for the debates, for which she will undoubtedly be excused by the MSM and the lofo voters.

Anonymous said...

... to include gags ...

We see what you did there

TrickyRicky said...

I'm glad I visited Johnny first, as usual. The cartoons have a sort of synergy today.

James Daily said...

On the crook's health, I think the dam is about to burst. It's leaking badly where even the MSM can scarcely ignore it. She is so crippled that she cannot hold an audience, what few there are, her stamina is non existent. I am guessing she will be encouraged to withdraw and run in Biden as a substitute. It would be unusual for Kaine to move up to get the nomination as he is basically an unknown. This will be fun to watch and the motorcade? Handicap SUV, ambulance, medical personnel? Yea, ya gotta love it.

Dr. Roger Harris said...

"Carpet munching"is solo UN-PC! It's now called "pumping fur!".

Berferdt said...

It's the truth trying to get out . . . .

Jon said...

The broad is finally choking on her own lies....

John the Econ said...

There is one upside to another Clinton Administration; We'll never be at a loss of sleaze to discuss.

When one does a deal with the devil, there's always an unexpected twist. For their souls, the Clinton's were promised immunity from legal prosecution. Clearly they didn't include a health clause in their deal. Will be truly ironic watching her collapse while taking the oath.

Saw this on the interwebs, but too funny not to steal: Hillary is the first person ever to get an email from a Nigerian prince and actually get the 12-million dollars.

Parsing Hillary: Hillary recently stated that she was not influenced by “outside sources” while Secretary of State. Of course she wasn’t. All those people who were paying millions to the Bill and the Clinton Foundation were doing it so that they could be the “inside sources” of influence. It’s the rest of us mere American citizens who are the “outsiders”.

Comanche Voter said...

Esophageal syphilis? Who knew Hillary was a deep throat artist? I thought her gate generally swung the other way.

Colby Muenster said...

Geez, thanks Stilton. Now I'm coughing from snorting coffee through my nose! Truly inspired cartoons and commentary!

Betting money Shrillary's cough is rooted in breathing so much brimstone over the years. But by golly, isn't it just ever so damn convenient to start hacking and gasping for air when somebody asks you a (gasp!) QUESTION that isn't, "Nice flatware; where'd you get it?"

@Geoff King,
Hoo boy, you got it. The treacherous old hag sure is quick to point out her "ALLERGIC REACTION" after every coughing fit.

Joseph ET said...

Off topic but I need to get this information out there.
Thanks for your understanding.

Our neighbor reported that they received a letter addressed to his long deceased Mother. It appeared to be from some government agency so they opened it. The letter said they should fill out the information and return it so Mom would be registered to vote. When asked if they called anyone in authority, the neighbor said no, they shredded it. As a result we were unable to get any more information about it. I wish I could have seen that letter. Appears as an attempt at voter fraud here in California. I certainly would have brought it to the attention of some authority.

Watch your mail.

John the Econ said...

@Joseph ET says "I certainly would have brought it to the attention of some authority."

Considering that you live in California knowing that the bureaucracy is run exclusively by corrupt Progressives, just what would you have expected that "authority" to have done?

B Martin said...

If they think California needs a firewall of dead voters then Trump has a landslide election coming. Perhaps the anticipated voter fraud is for a lesser election. St. Louis just had an election result thrown out and a new vote scheduled for next week because of vote fraud. (A 51/49 election with an 80/20 absentee ballot result.)

B Martin said...

If they think California needs a firewall of dead voters then Trump has a landslide election coming. Perhaps the anticipated voter fraud is for a lesser election. St. Louis just had an election result thrown out and a new vote scheduled for next week because of vote fraud. (A 51/49 election with an 80/20 absentee ballot result.)

David in SoCal said...

Dr. Roger Harris: Like the 'pumping fur' descriptor, but nowadays with the younger women's grooming habits; maybe the correct term should be 'Linoleum Licker'.

Econ John: You are correct sir. In fact; if I was to report ANY voter fraud here in Commiefornia, I would be the criminal.

Joseph ET said...

@John the Econ
There are many good people working in occupations with authority in California. In my experience the folks in authority here have always preformed their job the correct way. And California is not run exclusively by corrupt Progressives. Our blue districts are not exclusively Progressives nor are the red districts exclusively conservatives. We shouldn’t paint with such a wide brush.

California is not completely a blue state as many think. Most of the liberals are in the heavily populated coastal districts. The conservatives have long ago conceded the state to the liberals. They need to get some good candidates and work on one or two districts at a time. And not just during election time but all year, every year. Just chip away at it little by little. Would it be worth their time and expense to get 55 electoral votes every four years? You bet! The democrats have been working on Texas for years and now they are getting close to turning Texas blue.

David in SoCal said...

John El Econ: Yeah, I know there are plenty of decent good hearted Conservatives in our system, it's just seems that they never get to where they need to be to make the change that will make our State a wee bit more tolerable to live/work/do business in. True, we are making 'baby steps' towards normality here, but with 6.25 decades of service already as a SoCal Native, I probably will never witness it here. Add to that the fact that I usually see things blind in one eye, and not being able to see out of the other.(damned fireball gets me every time)

Wahoo said...

If Trump wins the presidency, Hillary can always find work in the porn industry.

David in SoCal said...

Wahoo: I hadta gouge my brain out just thinking about that....EWWWWW! But on the bright side, if she took on the porn name of 'Labia Lickamuff' her fame would surely soar.

John the Econ said...

@Joseph ET & @David in SoCal, I know there are plenty of good people in CA. I'm close friends will a lot of them. For a large swath of my life, I was among them. But I also personally witnessed its decline from a Reagan Republic to whatever it is you want to call it today. When I was an infant, my parents moved into one of the finest school districts in the country. By the time I graduated high school, I couldn't count of the number of people I knew that I was pretty sure were functionally illiterate, and yet were issued the same diploma I was. The California of my youth ran budget surpluses. The California of today has some of the highest taxation in the country, and yet the roads are rated amongst the worst.

How do you save a republic run by people that in the midst of literally running dry, choose instead to build a high speed train to nowhere instead of upgrading a water infrastructure designed to support 20 million to today's near 40 million?

And you're right; move 30 miles inland from the coast and it's a totally different culture. Actually, there are a couple of different cultures. There's the old-school "conservatives of the land" culture you and I recognize, respect and admire. But then there's also the growing "resident alien" culture, which unlike on the coast, is largely unregulated and de-facto anarchistic. If you read much of Victor Davis Hanson who grew up and lives among the former, you'd see how it's also getting absorbed by the latter. It's politically impossible to resist, because that would be "racist". It's becoming anarchy because the authorities don't want to deal with it. So instead they focus on regulating the otherwise law-abiding middle class.

When I was in school in the '80s, I could clearly see the changes starting to take place. The hippies Reagan once stared down were now working their way into the establishment. The seeds of the insanity in academia we see every day now were germinating. I started noticing the trend of highly educated and skilled people making high-5 and 6-figure incomes leaving the state only being replaced by low-skilled people who were lucky to be making much above minimum. I'd point this out to Progressives, only to be told that this really wasn't a problem. Really? A tax base of highly-taxed wealthy people being replaced by almost non-taxable poor people isn't a problem in a free-spending state?

The state today is propped up almost exclusively by the rich of the tech sector. A minor stock market correction basically bankrupts the state. Or the handful of the Mark Zuckerberg class billionaires could simply back up and leave and they'd be doomed. It will be ugly.

It was only a matter of time before I joined those who left. There are things I still miss about California, but I don't regret leaving for a minute.

So please don't get me wrong. I love California. To me, it was perhaps the greatest place in the world to grow up. Where else on any given weekend could one choose between going sailing, skiing, hiking, camping, anything cultural, etc? But on the other hand, I personally witnessed it's decline from everything that was great about America (independence, industriousness, confidence, real multiculturalism, (not the phony kind the Progressive sell today; while frequently being called a "racist" for my less-than-Progressive views, I was in fact the racial "minority" in my circle of close personal friends) and forward-looking.

Joseph ET said...

@ John the Econ
Thank you for your excellent posting. I agree with it all. Also thanks for the link to the truthful article. I haven’t had the need to travel through the valley for many years. I stay close to Placer County which is mostly a conservative place although I feel surrounded by Progressives in my neighborhood. The big problem is Sanctuary Cities, Counties, and States. See map: Sanctuary Cities Obstruct Enforcement, Threaten Public Safety.
I was born in 1945 and grew up in a completely different State and Country! IT WAS BETTER THEN! Some of my family have moved to Oregon, but I don’t see it much better there as it has been taken over by Progressive Californians. See the map.

John the Econ said...

Joseph ET, I agree that the place is largely unrecognizable to what it was only a few decades ago, visually, socially, politically and economically. California, once one of the most dynamic and diverse economies in the world literally possessed the golden goose, and then turned on it and gored it. It scares me to imagine what it will look like in another generation. I consider myself blessed to have lived it during its peak, and cursed to watch its decline.

The amazing thing is gap between the affluent coast, and other parts of the state; particularly the rural southern regions. I've been to places there that are literally indistinguishable from the poorest regions of Mexico. Most of the affluent and middle class of California haven't a clue these places exist only a few hours away. As cited in the article above, the law barely exists there, nor does anyone seem to care.

Sanctuary Cities - Consider this: If it's okay for LA or San Francisco to totally dismiss Federal law regarding the handling and disposition of illegal aliens just because they think they're wrong, then why should any city or state feel obligated to abide by any other federal law or edict that local interests find politically distasteful? For example, I consider EPA edicts regarding "wetlands" overbearing, largely irrelevant and mostly an effort to seize private proterty. Local & state authorities should simply tell the feds to get lost. Federal gun control? Forget about it! And don't get me started regarding the EPA & carbon! If someone wants to build another coal plant in my state, why should they care what the feds think about it?

Isn't what LA & SF are doing with immigration law just what the south did prior to the civil war? (Victor Davis Hanson calls it the new "neo-Confederatation")