Thursday, September 16, 2010

It's A Mystery



The ever-prolific Barack Obama has just completed work on a children's picture book entitled "Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters."

Originally, the book (which was written as part of a $1.9 million publishing contract) was supposed to be about young Barack Hussein Obama, a "skinny kid with big ears and a funny name." That version of the book has been shelved, however, perhaps because this didn't seem like the very
best time to remind people that the skinny kid with big ears was raised by a Muslim stepfather in Islam-dominated Indonesia.

Instead, the president's new book focuses on famous American symbols like George Washington, whose infamous teeth demonstrated the need for universal healthcare...Jackie Robinson, who proved that African-Americans could play sports...and painter Georgia O'Keefe, who showed us that close-ups of flowers could look like something
other than close-ups of flowers.

The book features a colorful cover which shows the president's daughters taking their dog Bo for a walk...but
not carrying a plastic bag with which to clean up any steaming mess he leaves on the Whitehouse grounds.

Now
there's symbolism.


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17 comments:

Buzz Bannister said...

A picture book that Bambi "wrote" but illustrated by somebody else, hmmm. It's amazing he found the time to do this in between vacations, tee times and galas but then again ANYTHING to keep that little Socialist out of the Oval Office.

tfhr said...

Thought their father said he would not allow his children to become media fodder.

I guess that change in practice is based on the hope that he can generate some sales and pocket the proceeds from pimping his daughters. Kind of reminds me of his about-face on limiting his campaign to public funding and his subsequent reversal.

I know, I know, a politician of his stripe does so many about-faces that his head spins, but I'm just grateful that he has decided to devote more time as an author and by that fact, less time as a President. Then again, the stories out there about Bill Ayers having ghost written some or all of his previous textual monuments to narcissism leaves me wondering.

There is also the likelihood that Obama's publisher has advised him that readers have already heard enough about him that they might be more likely to pick up a book which least offers the slim possibility that he might talk about something or someone other than himself.

Given his current fortunes and likely future, at least this time the book won't be introduced with simultaneous predictions about who will play Obama in what would have been the inevitable film version.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Of thee I sing? A letter to my daughters?
NOT getting it...
Why the HELL would I want to a narcissist's pontifications to his progeny?
What a doofus!

Pete(Detroit) said...

Er, want to READ, should say...

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

To become mandatory in public grade schools in 5...4...3...2...

Suzy said...

LOL at everybody! (Especially the lack of "symbolic" doggy doo bag! haha!)

Chuck said...

Authors write about things that intrest them. Barry has "written" a total of 2 books till now ... both about himself. Now a "picture book" ... still about himself in that it is: "... a letter to MY daughters"

Red said...

Enough with the books already. Geez, narcissism much?

Bobo said...

Angry Hoosier Dad: I think you hit the nail on the head. The teacher's union will mandate its reading in classrooms all across this country, thus further indoctrinating our children into liberalism or whatever crap is in his letters to his children. (Like anyone gives a rat's ass.)

However, if we take the book title literally, maybe the song "of THEE I SING" is the Alphabet song and the letters to his daughters are: "A B C D E F G....now I know my ABC's, tell me what you think of me." It's really a See and Say book.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- Just to clarify that (in the words of Dave Barry) "I'm not making this up," the book really will be thumbnail sketches of 13 famous Americans...the only 3 of whom which have been announced being George Washington, Jackie Robinson, and Georgia O'Keefe.

The other names will become known as the ghostwriters finish their assignments.

Anonymous said...

Frank in R&R city; I hear Terry Jones has plans to burn a bunch if unemployment doesn't come down.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

So, will George Washington's reverence for, or reliance on God be highlighted in this book? I'm going out on a limb to guess...no.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Angry Hoosier Dad- We believe the George Washington section will focus on the cherry tree he cut down, thus inspiring the logging industry to strip the Earth and leave it a barren ruin incapable of sustaining life.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

tfhr - more like the Tasmanian Devil of Warner Brothers fame.

Now walk with me through my twisted mind as we...

Stay tuned to MSLSD at the 0val 0rifice where Catie Kuric and Kris Methuselah are covering as the remaining hysterical figures in 0bama's soon be be best seller are to be announced.

Hi! We're here at the 0val 0rifice where the 0ne is about to reveal the thrilling hysterical figures to be featured in his new book. Many people suspect that these figures are... Hang on... the 0ne has taken the podium, and from the volcanic glow of the teleprompters, and the regal turning up of The Nose, we're in for quite a treat! Here he goes! He's pulling one out of the hat now! OK #1 is 0sama bin Laden.... Jeremiah Wright is number 2... OK maybe that's it. He's put the hat down. Maybe that's it for today. NO! I can't believe it! They are emerging from the hat on their own! Joseph Stalin has just stepped from the hat for number 3... Wait! There's more! MY GOD! A THRILL just went up my leg! Oh, sorry: That was down my leg. Damned incontinence! Ok - hold on! Now, it's... no - I see Richard Daley and Michael Bloomberg crowning... Abraham Lincoln makes number 6 (Cause, you know, 0bama's SO MUCH like Abraham Lincoln! On opposite day...)... Ernesto "Che" Guevara and Hugo Chavez... Now - Oh, I can't believe it - we see Juan Perón - Oh, Catie! That's Apt! Didn't Perón do the same thing to Argentina that Bare-ass 0bama is doing to the US? Yes, Kris: 0bama is styling his performance in office after Juan Perón's... Wait - it can't be! It can't be! WHEEE! IT'S JIMMY CARTER! THE OTHER SMARTEST MAN WHO WAS EVER PRESIDENT!

Wow! What a rush! What an absolute joy ride! I feel uplifted just by being here! I can't wait to read this book! It should be right at my level!

Well there it is, folks! The full round-up of the 0ne's favorite hysterical figures from these 57 United States. That wraps up our report here - Back to you Teeth Uberman!

Me? I'll wait to not see the movie.

moronpolitics said...

Darn. I was looking forward to pictures of where he hid his bible and maybe the Christian people whose home he snuck off to go to the illegal underground Christian Church where he learned about Christianity. After all, he claims that he was never a Moslem. My wife and I, both born into Lutheran homes in a 98 percent catholic neighborhood in NYC, were secretly Hindu's from birth and let me tell you it was tough. Krishna taught us personally in the closet and under our beds. We told our parents He was a monster.

Anonymous said...

"but not carrying a plastic bag to clean up any steaming mess"

Uh, excuse me, but the dog Bo is not the problem. Don't blame the dog.

It's going to take a VERY big plastic bag to clean up the real "steaming mess" in Washington.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Emmentaler- Funny stuff, though none of us may be laughing when it turns out that you were on the nose with all those "famous Americans."

Moronpolitics- We had no idea that Krishna was still in the closet. Will "Don't ask, don't tell" never release its hideous grip?