Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tonight, Barack Obama's teleprompter will expound on the "State of the Union," which Democrats will react to with the same screaming, yelling, applauding enthusiasm usually reserved for World Wrestling Federation events (which are equally scripted, but far more believable).
Early reports say that the alleged president's speech will focus primarily on three topics: unity between the parties, a big pro-business pro-competition agenda, and "good Obama's" successful defeat of his evil twin "bad Obama" who fought tooth and nail against unity and business for two years. In fact, the previous guy even had "Bad Obama" legally listed as the name on his birth certificate, which is why he wouldn't let anyone see it. It's already been confirmed on Snopes.com.
Anyway, looking at the text for last year's State of the Union, we're impressed by how much of it can be warmed up and served again this year. In fact, even without being warmed, much of it is steaming.
For instance, in that speech Obama created his Deficit Reduction Commission which would give specific instructions by a specific date. Not only did this not happen, but the Democrats used the existence of the Commission as their excuse to not limit their spending in any way, nor create an actual budget for the year.
Mr. Obama also promised to make jobs his "number one priority in 2010," although he apparently meant that it would be "number one after I've jammed through takeover of healthcare, done more to make the military gay-friendly, and taken 17 more vacations."
Mr. Obama swore to the American people that his healthcare plan would let them keep their insurance policies and their doctors, while reducing costs for millions of families and businesses. None of whom have yet been located.
Mr. Obama then promised that he would "go through the budget, line by line, page by page, to eliminate programs that we can't afford and don't work." Which, in fairness, he might have done if the Democrats didn't skip creating a budget for him to look at line by line and page by page.
Also in the speech was Mr. Obama's concession that "Washington may think that saying anything about the other side, no matter how false, no matter how malicious, is just part of the game," and renewed his promise to "change the tone" of the rhetoric in Washington. After which the Democrats spent the rest of the year accusing Republicans of being Nazis, and accusing Sarah Palin of mass murder.
Still, we don't want to be too skeptical about the upcoming speech. After all, from time to time, words of great truth and importance are spoken before a joint session of congress. Words that not only perfectly sum up a time and place, but illuminate and inspire with their crystalline accuracy and rhetorical power. Words that will ring through the corridors of history.
Most recently those words were, "You lie!"