Sunday is laundry day. And when you have as much dirty laundry as Barack Obama, that means you not only need effective whitewashing, but also a vigorous spin cycle.
And so it is that the president, his staff, and his media lapdogs are all busily trying to erase our memories of what actually occurred in Libya over the past months, and replace it with a "new and improved" truth which is, well, not the truth at all.
Which is why Hope n' Change presents the following chronological retrospective of "Obama's War" in Libya, with links to contemporaneous stories and our past cartoons.
Lest we forget...
2008 - Claiming their mission is to shore up America's failing economy, the Federal Reserve secretly loans massive amounts of money to a Libyan bank owned by one of our stalwart allies: Muammar Gaddafi.
August 14, 2009 - The Whitehouse secretly sends a special top-level delegation to Libya to meet with Muammar Gaddafi to discuss what a great guy he is, and to celebrate our marvelous friendship. Representing the president are John McCain, Joe Lieberman, Susan Collins, and Senate Armed Services Committee Staffer Richard Fontaine. At the meeting, John McCain promises to help Gaddafi get military aid from the U.S. because he is such a great ally against terror .
Gaddafi, who commonly heaped praise on Barack Obama, "made a point of expressing his satisfaction with the improved U.S. relationship and his hope that the relationship would continue to flourish."
Sept 7, 2009 - The Lockerbie bomber, who killed 270 innocent people when he blew up Pan Am flight 103, is returned to Libya and receives a hero's welcome from Muammar Gaddafi. Obama publicly criticizes England's decision to release the bomber, and then is scolded by the British because he knew all about the deal before it happened and had no objections to it.
February, 2011 - Libyan rebels begin a credible movement to throw out Gaddafi. Barack Obama is already stinging from criticism of his unwillingness to lend aid (or even encouragement) to previous such rebellions in Iran and Egypt. But he shows disinterest in Libya's increasing bloodshed and explains that he "does not like to meddle."
March 2, 2011 - As Libyan rebels are increasingly decimated by Muammar Gaddafi, Barack Obama refuses to condemn the dictator in public, but speaks to him via phone.
Obama's "go to" arbiters of right and wrong, the U.N., having recently put Libya on their Human Rights Council, decide to temporarily postpone a report which praises Libya's dedication to human rights.
March 7, 2011 - Alarmed by the slaughter in Libya, England contemplates establishing a "no fly zone" over the embattled country. Meanwhile Barack Obama goes golfing for the 60th time since being elected.
March 18, 2011 - With Libya's rebels all but defeated, Barack Obama sees that his reluctance to become involved (yet again) is going to become a political liability. He therefore says that the U.S. will join NATO in stabilizing things and providing humanitarian aid to Libya, and our involvement will be "days, not weeks." Obama says the U.S. mission is limited to creating a "no fly" zone. That's it. period.
March 21, 2011 - Barack Obama surprisingly authorizes a humanitarian cruise-missile attack on Libya, but won't answer questions about it because he's got a really, really important trip to sun-drenched Rio de Janeiro to meet with schoolkids and talk about soccer. Navy Admiral Mullen makes clear that the United States' mission is "not about seeing Gaddafi go."
March 22, 2011- Arab States in Obama's "international coalition" protest the president's unexpected use of cruise missiles, saying that they'd joined the coalition only after being told the mission would consist only of jamming Libya's radar.
March 24, 2011 - After having forced NATO to back up his cruise missile attack on Libya, Obama suddenly pulls back U.S. involvement, leaving Germany, France, and England asking "what the hell are we doing here?!" Meanwhile, our Secretary of Defense says that things are confusing because "we've never done something like this kind of on-the-fly before."
March 26, 2011 - Accused of starting a war without consulting Congress, Barack Obama denies that there is a war, and asserts that sending cruise missiles into another country is simply "kinetic military action" which needs no more authorization than sending a Hallmark birthday card.
March 27, 2011 - Disconcertingly, it is revealed that the rebel group in Libya that Obama is supporting with our cruise missiles contains members of Al Qaeda.
March 30, 2011 - Barack Obama continues delivering kinetic humanitarian aid to Libya. Defense Secretary Robert Gates confirms that the US has "no vital interest" there.
April 26, 2011 - With oil-rich Libya thoroughly destabilized and unrest in the Mid-East reaching panic levels, the cost of gasoline skyrockets. Barack Obama explains the resulting price increases are due solely to greedy American oil companies and speculators.
May 2, 2011 - A Whitehouse spokesperson says Obama's dumbfounding lack of direction and failure to define our military objectives in Libya are really a new phenomenon called "leading from behind." Which means exactly the same thing as "covering your ass."
May 7, 2011 - After a Libyan school for children with Down syndrome is blown to smithereens, a Whitehouse spokesman says reporters should ask NATO what's going on, as the president has no idea.
May 23, 2011 - Congress, tired of getting no answers from Obama, demands that he explain himself under the provisions of the War Powers Act. Obama tells them to piss up a rope, claiming there is no war in Libya.
June 16, 2011 - Congress, still waiting for an explanation, is told by Obama's legal team that he doesn't have to answer to the War Powers Act because it's not war if the enemy is "unable to exchange meaningful fire with our forces." By which token, the attack on Pearl Harbor apparently wasn't war either.
July 4, 2011 - Barack Obama claims that U.S. involvement in Libya is now limited exclusively to providing intelligence, surveillance, and refuelling missions.
August, September, October - The American news media and Obama administration decide that the Libyan non-war that we're not involved in is no longer of any particular interest and stops speaking about it altogether, deciding that it's entirely NATO's headache. Instead, Obama furrows his brow and tells Republicans that "it's time to eat our peas" and raise the debt ceiling astronomically again. This kicks off Obama's big Class War initiative, which his legal team explains is not war because those being attacked "are unable to exchange meaningful fire."
October 20, 2011 - An outcast Muammar Gaddafi is captured by Libyan troops on the ground, brutally beaten, shot multiple times, driven around on the hood of a car as a trophy, then dumped in a walk-in freezer so Libyans can enjoy the sight of his bloody, mangled corpse (which, disturbingly, gives Hillary Clinton the giggles.)
Back in Washington, Barack Obama - the man who wouldn't talk about Libya - struts to a podium in the Whitehouse Rose Garden, elbows Nato and the Libyan rebels aside, and announces that Gaddafi's death vindicates his strategy and shows the strength of American leadership.
Mainstream media cheers Obama's extreme manliness and opines that his "foreign policy strength" should make his re-election a shoo-in.