Friday, August 2, 2013

Have Your Cake and EAT IT Too

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, benghazi, birthday

According to at least one of his many Social Security cards, Sunday marks the alleged birthday of Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama. The president is turning 52 which, by almost unbelievable coincidence, is also the exact number of weeks each year he lies his butt off, creates dissent, and cripples the American economy! There's one for Ripley's Believe it or Not!

The president has already been presented with a cake by Nancy Pelosi, whom a spokesman described as being "known for her affinity for dark chocolate." We can only pray that this in reference to the cake itself, and not some personal gift she's planning on sharing with Obama involving lingerie and WD-40.

The birthday boy was able to enjoy not only his own slice of cake, but also an extra slice which was left over because, for reasons still unexplained, Ambassador Chris Stevens failed to show up for the party.

In any event, Hope n' Change Cartoons wants to wish the president the very happiest of birthdays.

Specifically, we "want to" - but can't and won't. Because what we really wish is that his sorry keester would be dragged before several investigating committees which would put him under oath about Benghazi, Fast & Furious, and the IRS attack on conservatives (you know, the scandals that the president and Jay Carney dismiss as being "phony.")

We wish we could ask him why people really can't keep their health insurance policies if they liked them, and why Obamacare is raising costs by preposterous margins and pushing people out of the system instead of in?

We wish we could find out why he hates small businesses and American energy production. We wish we could force him to tell us why he identifies with Trayvon Martin but not the black kids in Chicago being killed by other black kids, why the Ft. Hood massacre was an incident of "workplace violence," and why the Whitehouse is closed to ordinary visitors but is still wide open to celebrity galas and five-star (well, maybe one star and a crescent moon) Ramadan dinners?

But none of these wishes is likely to come true. No, this miserable little sheepdip who made his political name by squeaking "present!" in the Illinois Senate will be opening expensive presents from his various syncophants, toadies, and special interest lobbyists.

And of course, he'll be opening a very special present from Hope n' Change Cartoons, too.  And it will look a lot like dark chocolate. Bon appétit!

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, benghazi, birthday, carney, phony scandals
Carney draws a line in the sand. Specifically, the sand at Martha's Vineyard.


FlyBoy said...

I'd like to give Barry a 24 roll pack of Charmin so he'd stop using the Constitution as toilet paper. Come to think of it, that won't deter him......

Queso Grande said...

I wanna give the nation a great big glass of wakethefuckup juice. As much as Benghazi, and the entire administration sickens me, far too many float thru life, caring not a whit as long as American Idol or some such shit is on the idiot box.
I loves ya', Stilt but your desire to put the Presnewdebt under oath is; I am sad to say, naive. It is not 'oath' under which he will speak true words, it is under chemical influence. Or electrical.
Lying is mother's milk to this man. And his ilk.
But the far worse impact of the past 40-50 years of indoctrination is that so so many are wiling to accept, nay swallow happily such outright lies as drip from the mouths of the leftists. Ask a few black people whether or not Lincoln was a Republican. I work with many many who KNOW he was a Democrat, cus it be de democrats dat freed de slaves. The suck up lies like they suck up public assistance.

Democrat Party delenda est, for the good pof the planet.

TrickyRicky said...

I know it's naive, but I can still hope that the newest revelations about the heavy CIA presence on the ground in Benghazi during the September clusterfark will allow this phony sandal to reach boiling point. Now that CNN has put this before the sheeple, maybe the blinders will fall from a few eyes. More importantly, perhaps the GOP will grow a spine and, heaven forbid, some testicles.

Colby said...

Fantastic rant today, Dr. Jarlsberg, but I have to second what Queso Grande said about oaths. This wart on society already has twice taken an oath to uphold the Constitution in front of millions of Americans, and has sytematically done exactly the opposite. I pray the black Suburbans have not showed up after your birthday present offer! More than that, I pray he thinks it really IS chocolate and chows down!

Queso Grande,
I'm thinking waterboarding... We know that this works on hardcore anti-American asswipes. As for Lincoln, I was pleasantly surprised at how the Daniel Day Lewis movie portrayed Democrats as anti-emancipation sleazeballs. The screenwriters even included some nice wisecracks about Democrats in Lewis' lines. There is hope, though. I used to be one of the indoctrinated, but, as Hank Williams might say, "I saw the light!"

idahobob said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Emmentaler Limburger said...

Dang. Missed a good comment if "This comment has been removed by a blog administrator." is any indication.

Good comments, Stilt! Queso stole my thunder on the oath bit. And Colby took the other oath tack. Both are spot on: the oaths to things like The Constitution, the American people, and, specifically, the truth mean nothing to Øbama, Pelosi, Reid, et al. I'll go further in that I suspect they mean little or nothing to most of the "other side of the aisle" as well - what with headlines that major donors to the R party want "immigration reform" passed - follow the money: it will pass.

John the Econ said...

As @Queso Grande and @Colby have already pointed out, I really don't see the point of putting this President under more oaths. After all, he took not one, but two to protect the Constitution of the United States, and we've all seen how seriously he took those. Oaths uttered from people who honestly believe that Marxism is worthy of imposition by any and all means aren't worth the hot air their expelled with them. His actions speak more than anything he'd say anyway.

I got a letter from my health insurance carrier last week. Good news, or so they say, that my policy is "grandfathered", and will not be changed under ObamaCare. The problem is that the health care "that I liked" for the last decade has nearly doubled in what cost before Obama was elected. In a dozen weeks or so, I'll be expecting another letter telling me what "the coverage I liked" will now cost on the eve of ObamaCare. As ObamaCare demands that the healthy further subsidize the uninsured, that will not be a pleasant letter. At that point, I'll be facing the hard decision that millions of other Americans will be making; do I drop my insurance and save myself tens-of-thousands of dollars?

@Stilton, I can tell you exactly why he hates small businesses: They cannot be easily controlled like large corporations can be. Small business has always been the annoying gnats that buzz about the heads of leftist control freaks. They swat and swat, but they can never influence them. Unlike the mere hundreds of multi-billion-dollar corporations that exist in the US, there are tens-of-millions of us, and we actually employ most people in America. The President and his minions can easily pick up the phone and trade favors from most of corporate America, which knows how to "play ball" with Washington. There's no way they can effectively interface and control millions of independent-minded entrepreneurs, who by their very nature resent interference and control in their lives and businesses. In the perfect Progressive universe, there'd be no such thing as "small business".

The latest jobs numbers just hit a an hour or so ago, and the news is not good, at least if you are not part of the White House spin machine. Although they are cheering a two-tenths drop, the underlying numbers remain depressing and not a surprise. The "participation rate" continues to drop; these are those who have given up looking for jobs, and opting for welfare, disability or their parents basement.

And as the last report clearly demonstrated, employers continue to eschew full-time employees in favor of part-time in anticipation of ObamaCare.

Just caught an interview with Alan Krueger, one of Obama's so-called "economics advisers". To hear him tell it, the problem isn't ObamaCare, it's the "sequestration"! That, and we need a higher minimum wage. That's right; forcing employers to both pay for ObamaCare and higher wages will really stimulate hiring!

Coon Tasty said...

@SJ - I'm picturing Bill Murray in 'Caddyshack', eating a Baby Ruth...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Flyboy- Maybe adult diapers would solve the problem. God knows they'd be appropriate.

@Queso Grande- You're right, this Administration couldn't get away with all its mischief without the complicity of a big, stupid populace.

Regarding putting the president under oath, I'll explain (to you and others here) that I'd still expect him to lie his rear end off. But once those lies are made under oath, then he can be held legally accountable when the truth comes out.

And good point about the way history has been rewritten to convince people that the Dems freed the slaves, and the GOP fought it (and continues to fight it to this day), when the truth is the exact opposite.

@TrickyRicky- I'm also hoping that the latest revelations may tear this thing open. There are now reports that the Benghazi survivors are getting polygraphed once a month to make sure they haven't said anything to anybody, and they're being relocated around the country with new names.

I can appreciate that there may be a legitimate reason to keep covert operations covert - but at some point, the outright lies need to stop.

@Colby- First off, I didn't say my present wasn't dark chocolate. With peanuts. And a few kernels of corn.

Regarding waterboarding, I could never support its use on the president to get to the truth. Rather, we should waterboard the living crap out of Jay Carney as soon as possible.

@idahobob- Although there is ample proof that in his "Choom Gang" years the president enjoyed the use of hemp, I had to delete your hemp-related comment because I don't want black helicopters coming to my office. Feel free to keep commenting - just scale back your enthusiasm a notch.

@Emmentaler- Hey, I agree with all of you about the oath matter - and that they mean little to either party. The sole exception being when you take an oath before making sworn testimony, and can find your butt in hot water if you're caught in a lie. Unless you're a Democrat.

@John the Econ- I got the same letter...word for word, it sounds like. Although they specified (as if it were a good thing) that my current crappy "coverage and benefits" wouldn't change - but allowed that my premiums "might." Apparently the new rates will be coming out in October, at which point I, too, will have to decide whether to continue paying usurious and rising rates, or just drop health insurance entirely.

Excellent summation of why Barry hates small business. Anything which empowers the little guy is seen as disempowering government control...and so needs to be stomped out.

The new jobs numbers are nothing to cheer about, as you say, and I'm smacking my head at the notion that "sequestration" has anything to do with it - though I've got to give the administration and media credit for so thoroughly convincing everyone that sequestration was a Republican creation, and not that of Barry O.

And yeah, I'm pretty sure that making employees more expensive will make businesses more eager to hire. What idiots.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- The perfect image!

Coon Tasty said...

@John the Econ - We are seeing Obama's Bizarro-version of Reaganomics, or "Trickle Up" Economics.

(Sadly, "Voodoo Economics" was already taken.)

JustaJeepGuy said...

I just re-read Atlas Shrugged. Who is John Galt and where is he when we need him?

John the Econ said...

@Coon Tasty, Obamanomics is actually "trickle-up poverty".

There was an interesting piece on the WSJ editorial page yesterday by Arthur Brooks, "How Obama Neglects the Poor". (Google it and you might miss the paywall)

Interestingly, in his speeches, Obama mentions "the poor" less than any modern President; even less than the Bushes and Reagan.

Why is this? Mainly because most of "the poor" don't vote, and those that do already reflexively vote Democrat and are already enslaved by big government, so they don't really matter. Obama can campaign for a higher minimum wage because he doesn't care if they never get real jobs. They're right where he wants them. It's those with actual jobs he's looking to capture. Those that buy into this think they're getting a raise. Those that actually get to keep their jobs will. Those who lose their jobs, and those who never get jobs are just unlucky. At least they'll be eligible for Obamaphones.

For decades now, it's the middle class the left has been working to enslave. Expanding medicaid and ObamaCare are key components. Nationalizing student loans would be another. The goal is to get the middle class included, and then dependent upon ever expanding government programs. They they will be slaves like the poor are now.

Oh, BTW, did you hear that half the workers being hired to work at the call centers for the ObamaCare exchanges will be part-time temps, and will not be provided with health insurance?

You can't make this insanity up.

David in SoCal said...

Just saw the lovely Sally Kohn on FOXNews proudly exclaim she spoke out against 'Weiner' from the very beginning.....Damn-near fudged my rompers laughing so hard!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

But once those lies are made under oath, then he can be held legally accountable when the truth comes out.

By whom?! No-one will hold this donkey-grave accountable - shoot! Holder has lied NUMEROUS times under oath, and was caught. Impact? I think he's still the attorney general.

Let's just say I'm not holding my breath on that one...

John the Econ said...

I'm afraid that @Emmentaler Limburger is correct. They now feel comfortable lying with total impunity. The GOP has grown too timid to even qualify as an opposition party. The usual suspects would scream bloody murder were anyone to even infer that they'd bring charges. The race hustlers would fuse this with the phony Zimmerman rage to get the zombies to the streets.

I'm afraid that it took less than two full terms for this to become a true "imperial Presidency".

Pete (Detroit) said...

"donkey grave" - I see what you did there! Tho 'donkey divot' has better bounce, I think...

Heh! Verify word - titios...
does THAT not just sound like some kinda pervy breakfast cereal?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Breakfast of champions @Pete! Breakfast of champions...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- All I know is it's been a long time since anything's trickled my way.

@JustaJeepGuy- You date yourself by admitting to reading anything longer than a tweet. Heaven help us.

@John the Econ- Good perspective on the WSJ article. Like a drug dealer, Liberals only care about getting the middle class hooked and dependent - on food stamps (remember the campaign telling people to get them whether they "need them or not" because it's their right?), on nearly unending unemployment benefits, on health insurance that "someone else" will pay for, and on and on.

Meanwhile the politicians are taking steps to make sure that neither they nor their employees have to pay full freight for Obamacare, while hiring others who won't be offered employer care at all.

Now that we've seen "what's in it," can we shove it back into Pelosi?

@David in SoCal- When Sally Kohn says she's against weiner, I totally believe it. (Side note: I wish FOX News would get rid of her - she's infuriating! It's one thing to bring a different perspective to the table, but utterly pointless to bring in lies and biases.)

@Emmentaler- Okay, I give. Nobody in power DOES seem to care that the major Lefties just lie whenever they want to, under oath or not. I have to admit that I don't think any of them will ever be brought to justice.

@John the Econ- Now you're just salting my wounds (sad grin). And you're right about the Imperial Presidency. Barry is getting cheers in his speeches when he talks about doing whatever he wants without "waiting" for Congress. Maybe we should just give him a crown and be done with it.

@Pete(Detroit)- You can laugh at "titios" all you want, but they're the only breakfast cereal that can make their own milk!

@Emmentaler- Just be sure to warm your spoon first.

Bruce said...

I have it on good authority that magilla obama does NOT buy knock-off fashions! She covers her OWN corpulent caboose with designer pants from Gloria Peterbilt and Calvin Kenworth. I can't imagine the insolence of someone suggesting she would buy anything phony for that bastion of integrity lamont insane obama!
@John the Econ...
I personally think the main reason lamont prefers BIG business, is because they have boards and stockholders, which make more complex to say to him "jam it... we're gonna start over!" They would rather "play ball" with a despot than try to re-establish their niche and network, and their "deep pockets" can be trolled for "donations" and legal fees if they default on a contract. Small businesses have the liberty to tell lamont to "sit on it and spin... I'll just close up shop, and YOU can go pound sand!"

Coon Tasty said...

Am I the only one who is unsurprised by the revelations about exactly what was going on at Benghazi? - The Canada Free Press exposed it last October!

John the Econ said...

You can't make this stuff up: "Obama: No tax reform without spending to spur jobs"

"President Barack Obama says there are no gimmicks to grow the economy — just difficult steps that require Washington's focus."

Sorry @Stilton, but I have to steal the brilliant metaphor you shared the other day; Washington's "focus" is like the giant Eye of Sauron gazing across the land looking to either control or destroy anything seen lurking unmolested.

"In his weekly radio and Internet address, Obama is promoting a plan he says can break through gridlock. He's calling it a grand bargain for the middle class.

It's called tossing the Constitution and becoming emperor. He's already tested the waters for this, and is now feeling freer to execute his newly unresistant power.

Obama says he's willing to work with Republicans to reform the tax code for businesses... But Obama says he'll only do it if money generated is used for infrastructure, training and job growth.

So what's the point? There is none. Just more of the same rent-seeking and money wasted on boondoggles to keep his cronies well-fed. Nothing serious to see here.

Ironically, he is right about one thing, there are "no gimmicks" to grow the economy. Get the government the hell out of the way!

Unlike most of the rest of Washington, my argument on this has not changed a bit since long before the election in 2008: The reason that there is no recovery and that we are now living "the new normal" is because nobody can make long-term assumptions or plans because nobody knows what the "focus" of Washington is going to do next. What will ObamaCare mean to your business come Jan 1? I have absolutely no freekin idea. The Obama Administration feels free to change the law with the weather. What will labor, capital, tax, or interest costs be next year? I have absolutely no freekin idea. The Federal Reserve is making up monetary policy with the weather too. Crappy jobs report? Fine, we'll keep printing money until there are jobs. But who's going to hire anyone other than part-time or temp workers under these circumstances? The "crisis managers" in Washington say they'll stay on the job until the crisis subsides. But now "crisis management" is an industry unto itself, and nothing in Washington ever goes away. So that's it; Permanent crisis. These people will never be out of your life.

Perhaps our only hope is to wait for the final, inevitable crash when the house of cards all comes falling down. But with the billions of rounds of ammunition that civilian agencies have been stockpiling for most of the Obama Administration, that's not likely to be pretty either.

If only we could stop this madness by dropping some infernal ring into a volcano. Alas, there are too many intellectual orcs in the way.

Perhaps I'll feel better after breakfast.

PRY said...

Coon Tasty...thank you for that really revealing article; it makes perfect sense as we have watched ALL the administration officials squirm and lie repeatedly, and they ALL claimed not to 'have knowledge' of ANYTHING! That mass pack of lies alone tells us that something huge is desperately being hidden.

Our government tried apparently some clandestine plan akin to FAST AND FURIOUS and things didn't work out...only this was on a much larger scale involving Russia, Iran and who knows who else. They were not about to take any more heat for some secret venture that went south again! So they all lied...from the top on down.

Obama, Clinton, Panetta, Carney, Susan Rice, and on and on.

Obama has, in a relatively short time, undone any progress made in the mideast in the past, and at the same time, managed to create an unbelievable mess that we have yet to experience. His legacy, to sensible people, is going to be this...the absolute WORST leader the U.S.ever had. God help us.

David in SoCal said...

Stilton: I really enjoy the FOXNews approach to 'fair and balanced', but when I see contributors,(interview hogs) like Joe Trippi,Tamara Holder, Sally Kohn, Mark Hannah and Jehmu Greene spewing favorable lies about the New Messiah; I have this urge to grab a towel and shove it into the TV so these tools can wipe off the Bama juice runnin' down their chins. Ooops, sorry 'bout including Ms Kohn in that list; I forgot she's a 'Vagitarian'. I agree that the liars and biasers need to go.

REM1875 said...

52 weeks and one more time the economy has 'turned the corner' - media speak for spinning aimlessly in circles.
You can not bs a bser so zero will reconizer you 'dark chocolate' as he is an international known major producer of such.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bruce- Wait, you're saying they were phony phony sandals because they were real? Well then, we've obviously got a phony phony sandal scandal!

Interesting insight on big business, too, reminding us that it can really be a game of self-interest between the power brokers.

@Coon Tasty- You're not the only one. This is old, old "news" - the only "new" part being that CNN is finally talking about it. And now the administration has had most of a year to "disappear" the people who could tell the truth.

@John the Econ- The "tax reforms" that Obama is willing to accept would probably translate to higher effective tax rates on businesses, with all the expected ripple effects. And in return, he wants to spend more?! This is why my desktop is covered with forehead-shaped dents.

And you're absolutely right that businesses (and even individuals) have got a bad case of financial constipation owing to uncertainty about what Obama is going to do next. Without going into detail, I'll say that I've changed certain of my work and financial practices based on what MIGHT happen with Obamacare - but the reality of which is still completely unknown.

I agree - and have said so on these pages - that my "hope" for the future largely revolves around what can be rebuilt after a huge, cleansing, and unbelievably painful crash. Oh yeah, I left out the word "inevitable."

@PRY- The arms smuggling scenario has always rung true to me. It certainly fits the known facts better than anything that's come out of Carney's piehole.

But my outrage stems not just from the lies, but the nature of the lies used in this coverup. Knowing that it was not true, Barack F Obama stood on the floor of the United Nations and blamed a Youtube video, and said that no one should be "allowed to slander the Prophet of Islam." That's not simply covering your ass - that's promoting Islam (while attacking our 1st Amendment freedoms, which he did explicitly) when grass hadn't even grown atop the graves of our dead.

@David in SoCal- I really like getting alternate viewpoints if they're not just rote nonsense (how I miss liberal Christopher Hitchens). But you don't achieve a "fair and balanced" status by seating a flaming Leftist ideologue next to Charles Krauthammer on a news panel. It simply devolves into the equivalent of Monty Python's "Argument Clinic."

@REM1875- I don't think our economy has "turned the corner" so much as it has been "turned over to the coroner." (rimshot) Thank you very much - don't forget to tip your waitresses!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@David: you left out Juan Williams.

It's No Gouda said...

"The "crisis managers" in Washington say they'll stay on the job until the crisis subsides."
I can't help it. The moment I read that line, I thought of the (in)famous comic management axiom: "The beatings will continue until morale improves." That seems to fit the situation equally well.

David in SoCal said...

@Emmentaler: I did that on purpose 'cause Juan sometimes displays moments of conservatism, and maybe, just maybe, there is hope for him.(why he got fired from Commie News Network)
RE: the closing of embassies and consulates this weekend: Don't know why, you would think that August 4th would be a holiday for ALL Jihadist Muslims hell-bent on taking over; and they should do nothing that day, considering their Muslim hero @1600 Pennsylvania Ave.; hell bent on taking over will be celebrating his b-day.(doing nothing)

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Nah - Ol' Juan's "I get nervous on planes with Muslims" wasn't a conservative moment. Perhaps it seems like common sense, with The Religion of Pieces penchant for using air travel as a means of death and mayhem, but I saw it as simply another manifestation of the Liberal tendency of voicing their prejudices with their expectation that it is OK for them to do so. He wasn't intelligent enough to foresee the PC backlash coming his way, that's all. I've seen nor heard anything from him that suggests this administration doesn't have its hand up his ass, moving his mouth like a parroting sock-puppet.

Juan deserves no pass. There's no hope for puppets...