Barack Obama, known throughout the land as "the thriftiest president ever," has shockingly declared that with his new budget he intends to "end the era of austerity" in our nation's capital.
The sudden change of heart and decision to start spending money more generously came after the president, in his palatial bedroom, was visited by three spirits: the ghosts of fiscal responsibility past, present, and future.
All of whom he had shot by the Secret Service.
Still, inspired by the ease with which he had the spirits executed and buried in his wife's vegetable garden (next to a dessicated corpse which may or may not be Osama bin Laden), Mr. Obama rededicated himself to spending even more money than he was spending before: which is to say, all the money in the world and then some.
The president is calling for tens of billions in new domestic spending, the elimination of the horrible "GOP sequester" which, oh yeah, the president himself created, and an allowance for increasingly magnificent presidential vacations with more slaves, orgies, human sacrifices, and solar-powered grape peelers.
Some critics have suggested that the president wasn't exactly exercising "austerity" before this announcement - or at least that's what we assume the critics were about to suggest when blood started spraying out their ears just before their heads exploded.
But to prove that the president actually knows what the word "austerity" means, he has announced that even though he'll be spending more money on everything that his "Spending Money Foolishly Czars" can think of, he is going to be drastically cutting back funding for our military.
Former VP Dick Cheney summarizes the president's priorities quite neatly, saying Obama would "much rather spend the money on food stamps than he would on a strong military or support for our troops."
Although in fairness, that may not be a bad idea considering how many more of our troops will now be forced to go on foodstamps.
BONUS: To make up for the lack of cartoon on Monday, here's a little additional "piling on" for today's topic...
23 comments:
Austerity? We'll see some Goddam Austerity after he's spent the sum total wealth of the planet, and no one will loan us any more, and in fact actually start expecting us to pay this GD debt DOWN a little. THEY the useless will be wailing in the streets "hey, you give food to the grannies, but not my babies? what kind of monster ARE you?"
"The kind that expects your lazy, over fed ass to WORK for a change. Or starve. I hardly much care.
Isn't it "morally wrong" for him to spend more money than the rest of the world?
That word "austerity " -I don't think it means what Barry thinks it means...
The budget cuts in defense spending are a joke. The only things really being cut are veteran's benefits. As the NSA now considers veterans a major terrorist threat in our country along with conservatives, Christians, and gun owners, naturally they wish to make them suffer even more. Meanwhile, the Military Industrial Complex will hum along business as usual. The Pentagon, known for losing track of billions of dollars from time to time and not being held accountable, will not be facing any austerity. After all, the US's roughly one half of the entire planet's military budget must continue to keep those impoverished multi-national corporations and banking concerns happy. Not to worry, the globalists will orchestrate a new war shortly and military spending will be dramatically increased to compensate.
"Gender reassignment?" Now that's a nasty shot. But I LOVE it!
I'm pretty sure he thinks the word is ass-terity....it is some term of endearment for a guy name Reggie,and it's cumming to his end.
I sure would like to see the expression on O'Bama's face the first time Rev. Wrong introduced the love birds.
Just so we're all on the same page
....
aus·ter·i·ty
[ aw stérrətee ]
1.severity or plainness: severity of discipline, regime, expression, or design
2.economy measure: a saving, economy, or act of self-denial, especially in respect of something regarded as a luxury
3.enforced thrift: thrift imposed as government policy, with restricted access to or availability of consumer goods
Now does that sound remotely like our boy Barry?
I, for one, am glad to see the agonizingly long, Bush caused season of austerity end. It has been so embarrasing to have the rest of the world watching The President of the United States reduced to taking two jumbo jets on vacations month after month after month, for so many years. FINALLY, each member of the Obama family will get their own jet and helicopter, as it should be!
OK.... seriously, I will repeat my dream that one day this arrogant piece of condensed owl crap will be living in a friggin' cardboard box surviving on dumpster cuisine.
Oh! And here's what Piers Morgan said about it on his show:
.
That has to be the most intelligent Piers Morgan quote I have ever seen.
"In arrears"
Okay, somebody has to say it.
Isn't that where those (we) old, conservative, gun-owning, Christians, who still believe in America, hard work, and self-responsibility are going to be taking it while Øspender is living high on the hog?
@Readers- Oops! Mrs. Jarlsberg pointed out that I'd accidentally written "Obama bin Laden" as the body in Michelle's garden. I've since changed it to "Osama," and apologize that my Freudian slip was showing.
As I rhetorically asked the other day, exactly when was this "era of austerity" that I've been hearing about? He honestly believes that the record spending and debt to date under his administration could in any way be considered "austere"?
The only "ere of austerity" I've been aware of is that forced upon those who've lost their jobs and affordable health care.
Perhaps he got an advanced peek at the palace of deposed Ukraine President Viktor Yanukovych and thought "Damn, that's how a President should live!", especially in a nation where the per-capita GDP is less than $4,000.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/101444296
In a nation where the GDP is still over $50,000, he should have at least a dozen palaces like that, and perhaps a dozen jumbo jets for each of his dogs as well.
But seriously, perhaps this "austerity" nonsense is meant to distract us from something even more potentially destructive to America, his proposed drawdown of standing American troops to pre-WWII levels. As Darth Cheney pointed out yesterday, what he is really doing is tying the hands of future administrations by limiting or totally eliminating the options available to react to future global events.
In the meantime, I have no doubt that the arming of paramilitary domestic agencies will continue at non-austere rates.
Remember, the far-left considers ordinary productive citizens retired military, gun owners, and the Tea Party as the greatest threat. Leaving China and Russia to run amok globally in the American vacuum is no big deal.
As much as we needed Ronald Reagan in 1980, we now need him twice as much in 2016.
MY head nearly nearly exploded when I saw WaitertheresaturdinmyColon Powell sitting with "the shiftiest president ever". When Generally Incompetent was stationed in Colorado, our Army base was referred to as Fort Cartoon! It is well understood that 'Colon [sic] was most DEFINITELY a "affirmative action" general. The fact he supports lamont is proof positive that he lacks the remotest ability to make strategic WISE decisions.
OH, and about magilla... she is wanting to have a "gander reassignment", NOT "gender". It will be a play on words from Daktari Doolittle... "sodomize me f*ck you". It's more of a species reassignment it's looking for... Wookiee to Cyborg Asshat.
...Obama would "much rather spend the money on food stamps than he would on a strong military or support for our troops."
He's just keeping a campaign promise:
"Let me be perfectly clear. I promise to take money from people who don't vote for me and give it to those who do."
Obama is a turd that needs to be flushed.
@PRY,
Scary as it sounds, O'Liar no doubt actually believes he has been taking one for the team by living so frugally up to now. It scares the living crap out of me to imagine what his idea of "living it up" is. The multi-million dollar vacations are going to start costing us multi-BILLIONS! This is probably why he's cutting defense spending; you know, renting the Taj Mahal or the entire state of Hawaii for weeks at a time ain't gonna be cheap.
@Stilt,
Osama / Obama.... potato / potahto. An Islamic terrorist hell bent on destroying America is still an Islamic terrorist hell bent on destroying America by any other name.
@Pete(Detroit)- At some point, "caring" isn't helping. For example, helping the 51st person into a foundering lifeboat which can only hold 50. It's time for "tough love" which, sadly, will look a lot like heartlessness in the short term.
@Anonymous- Good catch!
@SusieBee- I was very, very tempted to go with an Inigo Montoya cartoon today.
@Geoff King- I don't doubt that there's plenty of waste to be cut from the military; it's the cuts to the veterans that really chap my ass. And yes, I think it's entirely possible that military crises will be fomented simply for the economic benefit of the well-connected.
@Anonymous- Yeah, the "gender reassignment" joke about the alleged first lady was pretty much entirely uncalled for, other than because I just plain don't like her. Plus, I've seen some confusing photos which seem to indicate something odd going on in her crotchal area.
@TrickyRicky- It's all about the bottom line...
@OpenTheDoor- "I'm marrying WHAT?!"
@PRY- Now that you've shared the definition, I really don't remember seeing any of this happen in the past five years...
@Colby- I've got to admit that I hope to live long enough to see Obama completely disgraced.
@Geoff King- Pretty much my whole exposure to Piers Morgan has been watching him on the YouTube clip in which Susan Boyle blows the crowd away on an English talent show. Beyond that, I've only seen his idiotic quotes in the media. I'm glad his posterior is now heading out the screen door.
@American Cowboy- I just might have been thinking along those very lines when I titled today's cartoon.
@John the Econ- I've got to admit that when I was pressed for time yesterday, I sort of pounced on the "era of austerity" topic which you'd mentioned here. Too good not to use as cartoon fodder.
And Barry's continued crippling of our military is going to come at a cost we'll be paying for many, many years.
@Bruce Bleu- Colon Bowel is a huge supporter of Affirmative Action, which I personally find unforgiveable: it erodes the credibility of black Americans who actually earn positions of respect, while also giving us substandard and unqualified workers, generals, and the occasional president.
@CenTexTim- Barry's plan will work fine until there's no one left to take the money from.
@Anonymous- I agree. The problem is that we can't actually do the flush until the paperwork is completed.
@Colby- I think Barry actually believes that every dollar he wastes on his own pleasure becomes a Keynesian "magic dollar" which flows through the economy, swelling and metastasizing every step of the way. You might call his theory "trickle down" if you didn't mind getting thrown in Guantanamo.
And regarding the Obama/Osama name mixup, I agree that the two are easy to confuse for a variety of reasons, most having nothing to do with spelling.
The end of austerity? Hey, I just turned in my taxes. Party hardy, Osama and Wookie! The check is in the mail! Hey, it's always 1999 in DC., where income inequality is not just preached, it's practiced.
Keep up the good work Stilt!
The crimes and abuses perpetrated by the thing in residence at the WH are so beyond the pale, I can't find any words to comment. It just keeps getting worse daily.
If I had been drinking a glass of milk when I read this, it would have shot out my nose.
Just for the record, Obama's version of "austerity" is a $681.037 BILLION deficit since FY 2014 began on 10/1/2013...
https://www.fms.treas.gov/fmsweb/viewDTSFiles?dir=w&fname=14022500.pdf
OT, bot I can't resist after Lurch's 'Flat Earth Society' comments...
48% of Democrats Know The Earth Revolves Around The Sun
Then, just for some more added humor - ya gotta view the video clip in this...
Anti Obama Candidate Leads Texas Democratic Primary.
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