Sunday, January 23, 2011

Pupu Patter



To put an end to all of this "birther" nonsense once and for all, Democratic Governor of Hawaii Neil Abercrombie made news when he announced that he was going to find and show Barack Hussein Obama's longform birth certificate.

The Governor, who was an alleged friend of the alleged president's alleged parents back in their carefree days of bigamy and teen pregnancy, has subsequently been digging for the least-seen artifact since the Ark of the Covenant and now, only a few short months later, he can state with irrefutable certainty that "a long-form, hospital-generated
birth certificate for Barack Obama may not exist."

Oddly, the
previous Governor of Hawaii claimed that a person under her authority had seen and verified the document, and that she then had it "sealed away" to avoid prying eyes.

Meanwhile, the state's Attorney General says that Hawaii's privacy laws prevent the Governor or anyone else from seeing the birth certificate, assuming one exists, without the president's consent.

All of which means the governmental officials in Hawaii either can't get their stories straight, or they've been
having waaaaaaaay too many Mai-Tai's at lunch.

Despite Governor Abercrombie's failure to find Obama's birth certificate, he
has said that he's pretty sure that Obama's birth was recorded informally in a ledger somewhere or other (or maybe on a Post-it note) and he'll definitely find it one of these days when he has more time. Currently, his top priority is dealing with Hawaii's emergency response to this harsh winter, and Mr. Abercrombie only has time for shoveling snow.

Or was it sand?


We can't remember...but we're pretty sure he's shoveling
something.

-

23 comments:

drjim said...

They just taking extra precautions that the fake they come up with will pass muster!

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Perpetuating this story serves Duh Won's objectives - don't look here, look over there. Any distraction from the very real disasters of his making is welcome, even if it's a story about his bowing to murdering communist thugs. Like I said...any distraction.

Suzy said...

The weird thing is...that one day this news came out that he doesn't know where the certificate is...a few days later they reported that he has given up looking for it because the law says he can't reveal it anyway. It almost seems to me like he got in trouble for looking at it, and they reprimanded him using the law. Really crazy.... the longer someone hides something, the more you have to wonder what there is to hide....

I imagine once he's no longer President, someone will leak the truth and everyone who voted for him will look like over-trusting idiots. Too little, too late, for the country....

Ricko (Texas) said...

We really expeceted a family friend to locate the document? We really believe that Team Obama would allow it to happen? We really believe that it exists? I am no dyed in the wool "birther"; but, even I know that they would provide it in a New York Minute "IF" it was not detrimental to the Idiot in Chief. The sorry son of a sheep hearder was NOT born in Hawaii...end of story.

Earl said...

I dunno. Call me a "curiouser" a la Alice in Wonderland. Curious because this could be settled today by Obama. He's hiding something that doesn't jibe with his alleged autobiographies. Someone on this blog once suggested that it may be simply that his birth certificate lists his race as "white." That would be embarrassing to our biracial president.

Pete(Detroit) said...

What it lists is that he was born to a 'non-adult' (voting age was still 21 then -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-sixth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution)
and a foreign national who had NO interest in pursuing citizenship - ergo, NOT a citizen, regardless of where he was / not born.

Pete(Detroit) said...

"All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.[3]"

Mom, being too young, and dad being a foreign national, Barak NOT qualified.
That's the theory, anyway - not sure I'm buying it 100%
Still, there's SOME freakin' reason he keeps his records sealed - just like John Effing Kerry and his military records...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Angry Hoosier Dad- I agree that this feels like a deliberate distraction and an attempt to manipulate (and rile up) those on the right. Ask yourself, if Governor Abercrombie is (as he claims) a friend of Obama's, then why would he seek to reveal a document that the president has already made explicity clear that he doesn't want revealed? Then ask how the Governor could apparently be "surprised" to find out that laws prevent him from disclosing private records like birth certificates without consent.

It doesn't pass the smell test, and suggests that Abercrombie is in cahoots with Obama to create a diversion.

Meanwhile, I think Earl (above) probably has it right: there's something on that birth certificate which is embarrassing, and the great likelihood is that Obama's mother declared that he was Caucasian at birth. This would erode Obama's already-laughable "street cred," as well as open an uncomfortable dialogue about why his mother might have believed this to be a good idea.

And yes, it would surely cast Obama's multiple autobiographies and self-styled political narrative in a new light.

Bottom line is that the hidden document probably doesn't prove Mr. Obama is Kenyan...just adds one more small scrap of evidence that he's a liar and fraud.

Still, as Pete(Detroit) points out, there is a hypothetical case to be made that Barack Obama may not be a citizen for the reasons outline above. And if, as the Governor now says, a longform hospital-generated birth certificate may not exist, that becomes a surprisingly plausible theory.

John the Econ said...

It really doesn't matter anymore. The damage has long since been done.

Earl said...

I agree. Obama damaged any credibility he had with me a L-O-N-G time ago. I find it impossible to believe anything he says. Don't think I'll be able to sit through the Tuesday night "unity" sermon.

gray lady said...

OK, Maybe I'm just being dumb, but since when is a birth certificate a "private record"? My sons wrote to the county registrar in the county where I was born and got a copy of mine. It is a legal, public document recording a live birth and verifying one's citizenship. If there is truly nothing to hide, why not plaster it on the front page of the NY Times?

Rick said...

Why do I think that when they open his mother grave they will find a Jackal and not a person - Is Barrack Arabic for Damion? When Obamazz enters a room they shouldn't play the Hail to the Chief but the theme from the Oman.

Suzy said...

I don't think its only because of being "white" (if that were to be true)...that could easily be explained away.

I truly think there is a problem with his citizenship. Notice he doesn't care a bit about our southern border??? He's been ignoring it his entire term so far, even the shootings and killings going on down there.

beyondhiphop said...

i hope everything would change :D

Bobo said...

Gray lady - In Arizona you have to have a familial relationship to the person for whom you want to get a birth record. If you're not related to them, too bad. Does BO have a brother like Billy Carter who could use some cash?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Bobo- Say, that's a great idea! Barack has a half-brother living in an 8x10 shack on $10 a year (in Africa). I'm willing to give him twice that right now if he'll just sign a letter requesting the birth certificate!

Bobo said...

Stilton - Count me in for the same.

drjim said...

Great idea, Stilton!
If a whole bunch of us kicked in $10 each, we could settle this matter, and his half-brother could live like a king!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Drjim- Actually, it's such a good idea that I was tempted not to publish it and just look into how to do it. And hey, "Aunt Zeituni" is already on the public dole...she could probably use some money. I think I'll start looking for a collection plate!

drjim said...

Wonder if we could get them setup with PayPal accounts??

Necron99 said...

I honestly don't think we'll ever know the true origins of "The Invisible Man"...

Ever since he appeared on the scene and paid to have his past buried and sealed (An admission of guilt to something in my opinion, I don't know what, but something none the less... why else have his records sealed?) there has been such a furor from both sides of the fence that at this point anything 'discovered' or 'officially released' about his true background will be cloaked in the same pseudo-info-tainment style schlock as a History Channel "Mason's & Space Aliens built Atlantis for the Nazi's to usher in an Age of Global Warming" program.

As I have been saying since 2007, "If there is any question about who or what he is, then until he proves beyond the shadow of any doubt his true and factual origins, he should not be eligible to run for office in the first place."

SC said...

Stilton, I took your advice & finally went from anonymous to SC, Selfish Conservative. I want to thank you for this forum & the work you put into it. I love the cartoons, wit & wisdom. I look forward to the engaging commentary from the regulars; they’re great… I feel like I know them. I really appreciate this, I live in Illinois & there is a shortage of conservatives & many of them are still in the closet.

Here’s my 2 cents for the day: If there was any real evidence of non-citizenship the ‘hound-dog’ Clinton’s would have dug it up & dished it out during the primary.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

SC- Glad to have you aboard, and your comments are greatly appreciated. I'm a transplanted Hoosier myself, with family from Illinois...so consider your visits here to be "just like home!"

I agree about the Clintons...and it was they who really pushed the "Obama is Muslim" story, including pictures of him wearing traditional robes.